I practically tell you
How I feel
Without
Exactly telling you
I say goodnight
You say no
You don't let me go
You carry on talking to me
You don't want to end it there
Twenty minutes later
You say okay
I better let you go now
Goodnight

I'll pretend that the rain isn't already
falling in my chest
when you ask me to drown with you.
Didn't you know?
Or did you choose to look away?
Because when I read about the way
Virginia Woolf wrote her own
ending,
filled her pockets and waded right in,
I didn't feel pity
like everybody else.
I understood.

I'll pretend it's not really so
knife-edged
when you say that
I'm only a lie on your page.
And that that diffusion
of red and
blue,
dirtying your thoughts
is just a mirage,
the work of some crayons and pen
only you
hold in your hand.

I'll pretend my spine isn't caving in,
trying to prop me up
against the onslaught of
myself.
And you.
And him.
And whoever he is.
And all your eyes, blurring
into one green light that only seems to
fade.

I'll pretend somebody loves me.
And he isn't afraid.

It is so good to see you laugh.
So good to see you put yourself first,
and for neither one of us to finish last.

Dear beautiful child of God,
I think you're going to be amazed.
When you see the old, broken pieces
so quickly faded and washed away.

When you get to see a Godly creation,
newly formed and imperfectly made.
A creation of yourself that is so perfect,
because you gave yourself away.

Dear beautiful  you,
I hope you're forgetting about the past.
About what once was, so something better
might come to pass.

Dear you,
it is so good to see you smile.
Even if it is an
awkward, stolen glance
and only lasts this little
short while.

Money power
Mind power
Ideas power

Take it
Spend it
Run it
Twist it
Leave it
Use it
Abuse it

People come
People go
People do
People eat

Crazy man
Da fool
Bring it

Behind the mask
Hidden in dark
Burned in light

Breathless
Toothless
Whatever
Attitude

Rain falling while
The sun is shining
Is strange.
And those optical illusion things,
Those are strange too.
And how if you drink lemonade
After eating pancakes,
It tastes very very sour,
That is extremely strange.

And I just can't
Figure any of it out.
But why
Oh why
Oh why
Oh why
Can't I not just try?

black coffee
6 a.m.
old garages
tomato sandwiches
toy planes still in the plastic

Margaritaville on casette tape
Sunday's are car dealership days
tabasco sauce on every dish
two-bite pinchers when we were kids  
every boy's name is Mitch

My memories of you keep fading...

I've forgotten how your voice sounds.
And the way you smell when you've just stepped out of the shower.

The things I can remember range from heartache to love.
There are no in between moments...

I still remember the music you would play.
Or how relieved you looked coming home from work to see me.

But...
The heart ache seems to overpower it all.
As much passion as we had to keep it together...
We are just not meant to be.

I wish we could still speak the way we used to.
Or see where things would end up even just from talking...

But my heart tells me to stay away.
Because you built more walls than bridges.
And I cannot forgive you for hurting who I was and who I could have been then.

Now I am starting over...
It hasn't been easy with you still wandering across my mind from time to time...

But with every new day, you fade.
Just another stranger on the street.