Being a people pleaser is a part of me
You ask if I can meet you
I’ll promise you yes.
My schedule that will not allow it
I’ll change it so it can
My schedule will be deconstructed and reconstructed to form for yours.

You don't seem to like my laugh
I can laugh differently
To your liking.
Molding and creating a new me for you
My personality being formed around you.
An obsession,
An unhealthy obsession to make a personality formed for you.

The lesson here is to say what you hate
Because I'll change for you always
I'll lose who I am,
But as long as you're happy
I’m a people pleaser.

I don't do new year resolutions

This year.

I want to love myself a little more each day.
I want to learn to be soft and gentle on myself, the way I always tell others to be for themselves.

Sometimes, I want to simply exist.

Other times, I want to make life happen

This new year,
I want to change.
I want to grow.
I want to flourish.

I do not think the world is truly ready for my transformation,
But I am, so here we go.

I’m always forgotten because I’m never known.
They see me and my concept,
what they believe it is,
but they do not take the time to know me,
my insides and fillings,
my laughs and tears,
my thoughts and words.
I’m always forgotten because they never care enough to notice my light,
or my lack of one.
Superficial gifts and smiles
all at once in one Christmas night.
I’m always forgotten in their brains,
like tasks that no one wants to do,
a person no one wants to know.

Closer to new years now.
I’m always forgotten over the summer.
I exist,
lax and blurry,
because they don’t remember me if they don’t see me.
Every person creates a different image,
except no one actually knows me.
They just see.
They watch.
They imagine.
And they create.
Me,
in their brains.
But its not me anymore,
because a me doesn’t exist in anyone’s mind.
Not even mine.

all this anger and all this sorrow
used to be love

it used to be laughter
and late-night texts
the kind of thing
we swore will never fade

but now, it’s a weight
i carry alone
all the silence
every moment i wish i could take back

what do you do
when something so beautiful
turns into this?

Match my ire dear liar
Preach of a demise so dire
Grieve my soul's innate desire
Speak of kindness, light the fire

Birthed sick since first cries
Turn the fury to the skies
Poison embedded through lullabies
Born to feed you with my cries