I wish we never met
Even if fate led us there.
I wish we never talked
Even if the words came easy.
I wish we let silence win
Even if the conversation pulled us in.
I wish we never saw the signs
Even if they glowed so bright.
I wish we never felt that spark
Even if it burned so right.

But everything happened
And still, I wish I could turn back time
Even if I would never know you at all.

Thank you darkness,
For you have made it possible
To see the stars and moon
In the sky

Thank you darkness,
For without you
I would not have been able
To imagine the light
at the end of the tunnel
And so,
I would have no reason to keep walking towards it

Thank you darkness,
For you keep everyone
"In the dark"
And I wouldn't have it any other way
Because if we knew the future
There would be no point in having it

You know, I’ve never seen such a smile,
Sincere, kind, knowingly sly.
I would keep quiet and stand for a while,
And with anxiety, delight, I would cry.

That slight curve of your plump lips
Is the reason to live, even to breathe.
I promise, love, I’m happier than kids,
My heart rate would always increase.

Your lips on my cheek, your hand on my waist,
I blush when I look in your eyes,
All the time, all the efforts are not waste,
Every time all the sadness dies.

With anxiety my heart breaks, I will cry,
I’ll keep quiet and stand for a while.
Cold, devoid of warmth, dry..
You know, honey, I’ve never seen such a smile.

10-3-24   1:24pm

you have so much to live for
you have so much to learn

where have you been?
you drifted far
but the things you love
still wait for you

life waits for you
like a branch on a tree
waits for a bluejay

A strong sense of smell
But I can't smell out the lies

A strong sense of hearing
But matter how many times I listen to our recorded conversation
I can't hear what I said that made you snap

All of this makes me wonder
If you're right and it's me
Or if it was you all along

The things I do
For your approval
And your excitement
For my accomplishments
Usually aren't healthy
Or good
For me

The things I lose
For your happiness
And your calmness
Usually are the things that make me feel that way

The things I cover up
For your agreement
And support
Usually are the things I care about most

Don't tell me
I'm being disrespectful
When it's simply impossible for you to stay pleased for more than a few moments
I try
And I try
To no avail
I am done trying

I have opinions
Thoughts
Feelings
If you don't like it
Don't see me
That's what I wanted
To begin with