I don't mean to be so crazy
I just love you
More than I understand

Never enough
I'm never enough
I'm trying
That is all that should count
I'm trying so hard it hurts
I dont know what to do
How do I live up to your expectations?
You had so much time to learn!
I'm freshly budded into the world
By myself
Without any help
I'm trying
But I'm never enough
Never enough

The night you told me I didn’t put stars in your eyes anymore was the night
I didn’t see any stars myself. I thought we were written in constellations but that was more hopes
of my own then fate. Yes, I was upset. But I wasn’t in love. And that’s why it didn’t hurt.
I never lied when I said there was a moment when I thought we were some type of forever.
Do you remember the time when you were out by the lake of New Hampshire with the most gorgeous sunrise,
and you told me all you could think about was how much better it’d be if I was there to see it too?
I told you it didn’t matter but when I woke up the next morning, I felt detached from where I was.
There’s a part of me that wishes I saw that sunrise too.
But that’s just how it is.
All I have is stories of “has been”s and “could’ve been”s. A collection of “almost” and never seen sunrises—
the memories carefully stacked on top of each other, organized and filed away, collecting dust.
Somewhere I still think we exist though, an eternal splotch of sunshine and mutual caring, some place where our love didn’t hurt.
Somewhere there’s a lace wedding veil and a matching tux that were actually worn. Somewhere there’s the unfinished scrapbook I put together that has more pages added to it. Somewhere there’s a collection of passports from all the road trips we should’ve taken.
Somewhere out there, we are the type of forever I intended us to be.
Somewhere, in a little cabin in New Hampshire, surrounded by evergreens and daffodils,
there’s a little girl with the same name as my favorite movie character
with your hazel eyes and my dark hair.

i ask questions i already know the answers to
because there are lessons i wish i learned
for the first time from someone like you

i have a fever and i'm anxious for no reason,
is there a place where boys go to cry
and girls go to get even?

life like a sinking ship,
there's a captain but he's a liar

i'm the one who swallowed the flood,
and caused the electrical fire.
veins crossing veins,
igniting our bed.

*******, the things i'd do
just to get you out of my head

pretty blue eyes,
you open them
6 AM on a sunday
and a part of me dies

for you i'll stay safe
and warm
for you i'll get down
on my knees,
& arch my back
in perfect form

your tongue is
soft
your arms are
heavy
i can feel the places
where your
scars are
healed
i can smell the
opened wounds
that are fresh
and new
i am listening,
i am listening,
tell me what to do

i am here
i am here
i am here
for you