Red lights
Blue lights flashing
Sirens screaming
These 3 employees
Hoping they can save me

I cut my wrists
I just won't stop bleeding
I hope they don't succeed
I know I won't ruin their evening

I just want to sleep
They're still speeding
Red lights
Green lights passing
Bandages and monitoring

5 minutes pass
I start crashing
They start panicking
I can't stop myself from smiling

My eyes fade to black
My memories pass me
I'm finally happy
I'm finally happy
I'm finally

The sun sets around this ***** glass.
Just a few more hours until I become someone new and forget who I was.
Im waiting for the fireworks but they'll surely never come.
There's no celebration for killing the demon that's been killing everyone.

You think a simple crucifix could fix this.
I don't think I can send my monster back to hell.
I've killed my insides I'm nothing more then a shell of myself.

Looking in the mirror and reading the lines that I split with a razor blade.
Like memories made behind the closed shades as I held my hand on your face.
I'll try to shake the things I can't take haunted by the other me's mistakes.

It has control, I cant get a grip,
I'm a passenger on this sinking ship.
Maybe I'll fight and I'll come out alive,
But what's the point of living when I have to pay for his crime?

These smooth talking pills will get what they want.
I'll just cave in and forget I don't need another shot.
It's never felt so good to not feel at all.

You think a simple crucifix could fix this.
I don't think I can send my monster back to hell.
I've killed my insides I'm nothing more then a hollow shell of myself.

He will keep coming back, there is no escape.
I'll constantly ask forgiveness for his mistakes.

I'm terrified to see what this new year has in store for me.
I'm starting to believe that there has only been one me.

Best friends until the end
You know that will never change
Things might be different now
But they'll always be the same

Fourteen years old
Just two punk rock kids
Skateboarding and sneaking out
All the classes we would ditch

You know that I spent most of my nights with you
At your house there on Laredo Vista Avenue

Fast forward 10 years
There's no classes to ditch
I know if I didn't finish my beer
You'd be the first to call me a *****

When you and I get together
We're always doing stupid ****
Memories we won't remember
Except the fences that we've hit

If anyone asked I was always getting drunk with you
At your house there on Laredo Vista Avenue

I know I've left home
More times then I'd like to admit
But with you still at home
I just couldn't commit

Although a thousand miles away now my home is still there with you
Right there in Lake L.A. on Laredo Vista Avenue.

Who am I to you?
Do you want me to stick around?
I'm screaming at the top of my lungs
But you still don't hear a sound.

Hang me from your promises
As I choke on your words.
You said you want me forever
But you cut my heart in thirds.

Where the **** were you
When I needed you the most?
My world was crashing down
You turned into a ghost.

You left me all alone
And I've been lost here ever since.
I wanna say I love you
But I can only say it in the past tense.

You promised me the light
But left when it got dim.
What would have happened
If you saw the darkness I have within?

If I took my final breath
Would it finally be enough?
Would you regret your last words to me
Would it be enough to fall back in love?

Hang me from your promises
As I choke on your words.
You said you want me forever
But you cut my heart in thirds.

Who the **** are you
To treat me like I'm trash?
You promised me so much
Than just took all your promises back.

Do you still think about me?
Am I one of your painful memories?
Do I cross your mind when you're all alone and trying to sleep?

I can say that all is the truth for me
I'm just a grain of sand and you are the sea.
You wrap around my brain until I can't ******* breathe.

Do you remember trying not to cry?
The day we finally said goodbye.
Feeling like we're alone but surrounded by a hundred eyes.

Did I move far enough out of state,
So that your memory of me is completely erased?
Do you still linger on my words and our mistakes?

Losing you, I was always afraid.
You used to tell me that we would be okay.
I guess you can say we were never meant to have our Always.

Today's the day where I don't feel like waking up
I'm struggling to do anything at all but refill this half empty cup 

Today's the day that I relapse and pop this little white pill
It's supposed to make me numb when I'm feeling mentally ill

Today's the day that I burry myself in bed all alone
I'm hurting so **** bad, it aches me to the bone

Today's the day that I'm going to let everyone down
Pouring drink after drink until I finally just drown 

Today's the reason why I'm afraid to be happy and committed 
Something broke inside my brain I should probably be admitted

Today's the day a tidal wave consumes my hurting soul
It almost seems fitting to finally drive into a ******* wall

Today's the day that my fears come true of finally being happy
Cause before you can even take your first breath I'm writing your eulogy.

A simple note to explain doesn't seem long enough
To bring on one sheet my final feelings and thoughts

Why am I doing this and what lead me here?
It wasn't just one event and the timing wasn't near.

I'd start when I was younger but who can remember that far back?
Unfortunately I do with every panic and anxiety attack.

You'd probably start to see why by the time I finished 10th grade
But then I'd really dig deep into every mistake I've ever made

I'd go on to talk about the crushing weight of all my guilt
The guilt I'm tired of hearing that everyone has felt

"Just leave the past behind" they say and "move on to better days."
How the **** am I supposed to do that when I want to **** my brain

Therapy and medication only helped me for so long
Now I've come to realize I'm the only thing that's wrong

I'm not angry with anyone and would never put blame on you
I just can't handle my thoughts being the loudest in the room.

Scars show where you've been, not where you're going
Death is the only god that answers when you're calling
Time keeps moving forward there is no slowing
Will you miss me when I'm gone or while I'm going?

Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you
I should have never trusted you not to
Please don't do that thing that you do
You bat your eyes, fake a smile so I forgive you

I trace my veins follow my scars they lead me backwards
I wish I didnt see myself as a coward
Eyes straight walking in reverse but moving forward
Try to get ahead but staying focused on your words

After all these years in my head I rewrite our history
My monster summons memories of it's own for me
Running from myself like my own life is in jeopardy
Carried away by the grudges you made for me

Is sobriety killing my creativity?
Or is it better off this way?
It's hard to find some comfort in this
When all I know is pain

I couldn't go on much longer
With the way I was feeling inside
But who am I now that I'm sober?
Loss of identity will reside

Let me feel the lines of your hands
From your finger tips on down
I don't know how to fix me
But your skin is safe and sound

My addiction doesn't make me
Or at least thats what they say
I created my own hell
And breathes are getting harder to take

Step one is to admit that
I have a problem with this well
This shouldn't be news to you
I've been crying out for help

I can't go on much longer
With the way I'm feeling inside
Who am I now that it's over?
Give myself to the fleeting tide

I need to feel the lines of your hands
From your fingertips on down
Give me something to hold onto
When I feel like I'm going to drown.

"What's the blood from? And please tell the truth
You didn't have those stains before you left for school
You cover your scars but wear the stains with pride"
Would you believe me when I say it's how I feel alive.

Awkward in my own skin but comforted by my blood
I don't even like myself. How can I be someone you love?
Call me a sore loser when I didn't even ask to play
White striped reflections, just an echo of my shame

The safest way to love me is to stay the **** away
I want to **** everything, beginning with my brain
I know it's hard when I don't really say very much
Wait for me to reply but I'm too far out of touch