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I'm just tired. Of everything.

Lay your head on my shoulder and rest

Kind and tender offer, truly touches my heart, but my head is too heavy a burden for me to rest on anyone.

I will take that burden as I hold my own. If I were Atlas the Titan holding the sky above I would still take that weight

You are beautiful.
Please don't stop being beautiful, love.
I no longer have a sky,
But you make me want to rebuild mine.
If only a piece.
You are a star,
Shining at night.
You are a lamp,
Shedding some light.
You are a hope,
Making me want to fight.
Want to fight.
But to weak to stand.

I will be your shoulder to cry on
I will be your arm to lean on
I will hold your hand when things get rough
I will light the way in your darkest times
I will be here to the end


I just want to cry but the tears won't come.

Why cry darling? You have no reason to shed tears

I'm so broken, ***, I'm two shards away from gone.

I can be the glue that holds you together. < holds you close > I will be here

Glue always seems to wash away with me
< curls into a ball >

Then I'm industrial welding. I'll be here for as long as you need and longer

Darling... you are a lovely piece of humanity, never lose that about you.

*Please just hang on [my real name]. I couldn't bear losing you.
Losing you hurts like hell, love. </3
What if I still need you? What then?
- - -
Some exchanges from earlier November, when I was "unwell."
I wanted to **** myself, and when I felt like no one else was, Andy was there to give me reason not to.
The BOLD words are Andy's, because everything he said is boldly imprinted into my heart.
- - -
~ 1 A.M. (EST) 12/30/2014 was the last I ever got to hear from him.
I want to remember that.
- - -
 Jan 2015 BeAutiFul ConFuSion
R
I am still afraid
to look you in the eyes
I know it has been months
and I tell myself, I tell everyone

the hurt in my heart is fading
the scars on my heart are only skin deep

but I am still afraid
to look you in the eyes
and remove the walls I built up
because I know you will see

the hurt lingering in my eyes
the pain I try to hide behind my smile

and I am still afraid
to look you in the eyes
because I might find out
that you don't care anymore
We often seek answers
To questions
Which should have never been asked
Ever since Eve ate the apple
The world has been
Afflicted
With whats seen as knowledge
And the curse of Pandoras box
Unleashed upon the world
A ravishing hunger
To capture questions
That as ignorant humans
We should never control
What we call intellect
Is an overzealous need for power
And we mistake knowledge
For answers to the mundane
Life would be so much simpler
If curiosity wained
And we never
Began asking unnecessary questions
In the first place
We never ask the right questions.
You are like a disease
Growing on my heart
Leaving shards of mirror
Reflecting my face in
Shattered despair
All I want is a cure
Some way to endure
I don't want to compare myself
To the mistakes you chose over me
I don't want to hate the broken human
With a haunting resemblance
Of who I used to be
I want to move on
But I can't quite figure out how
Because when a part
.....of you...
....still loves....
Who do you turn to
Who becomes the medicine
When your cure
Has become your disease
Let's stay like this for a minute longer
Lets forget everything
Let me stay close to you
Let me hear you heart beat
Every beat if your loving heart
Gives me hope

Let me stay
Let me smell your sweet aroma
Let we dream here
Let me kiss your soft lips
Let me feel the wrath of your skin
Don't let go, not now

Let's stay like this for a minute longer
Wait! Where are you going?
Don't go
Let me love you one last time

— The End —