You gave me milk and dino shaped vitamins
I measured myself each morning to see if I was really growing like you said I would
But mama what happened?
I didn’t get that tall but instead, I wake up with an ache in my chest
I wasn’t ready for the growing pains
Outgrowing people and favorite jeans
The little girl in the photo albums would never recognize the face in the mirror
Change is good, but mama let me go back
To when I felt tiny in a twin size bed
And didn’t question my identity when I took a bubble bath

I ran over your tongue
like silk
or is it
fine wine
You sloshed me in your mouth
tasting the way
I ripened with age
I danced with your taste buds
I thought I did well
but then
you spit me out
and decided you preferred
the 2010

I don't sleep much. I touch
the morning sky, then sigh
on my pillow. The willow tree
sees me and bids me good morn.
Soon the sun will light the sky
and I shall rise to meet the day.
"Say, would you like to share
your day with me?" I ask. She
is my love, my life. She is my
wife and has my heart. I give
her first a hug, then a kiss. I
do not miss the chance to excite
myself with her beauty, a gift
from every time my eyes rest
on her pulchritude. My attitude
is this:  I am blessed to have
her. I am a lucky man, you
understand? We make love as
the sky turns light blue, soothes
our souls, but satifies our lust
for one another, a must for those
in love in the morning hours,
and then forevermore.

TOD HOWARD HAWKS

He punched me last week
And told me that he was joking and that's between me and him
My friends saw and helped me break it off yesterday
Today is my eighteenth birthday
And I am nothing like my mother

I never even fell in love with you
I never got the chance to feel more than just flighty feelings for you
Sometimes I wonder what we would’ve been like
A pair of friends, of something more
Would you have taken a chance on me if I were more?
Was I wrong to think that you might’ve felt something too?
Why do people think we would mesh well if you can’t see it either?
I never got the chance to try with you
I wish I didn't have to block out three months of whatever we were
Just to feel normal again
Why does it have to be awkward when we get paired together?
What can I do to fix it all?
I never even fell in love with you
But it feels like I did
This unrequited, unasked for, flighty finicky feelings of something
So yes, sometimes I think about what we could’ve been
I mean, you did hug me
I have the vague and foggy reminder of what it felt like
Your warmth enveloped my chill
And it all felt normal and right
Just for that very moment
It felt like home
It felt solid but…
I never even fell in love with you
I was in awe of who you had become
Yet it seems like you never changed at all
Had I created this new version of who you are just to please myself?
To justify what I thought about you?
I never even fell in love with you

The heart swells and swells,

a bit threatening. The heart hardens

and hardens, frightfully...

I am afraid for my heart.



I feel its mound beneath

the flesh of my breast, thudding

when it is tender, feeling absent when

it hardens...



The heart tries to soften when it becomes

hard, to keep thudding and rising, afraid

of the silence.



When the heart feels love,

it swells, enlarged with

blood and promise, anxious

for the sound of its own drum.

Won’t you look at the mess you made?
The lights go out,
I come apart.
The sun rises,
And so do I.
But in the night,
When I’m alone,
Your shadow stands over me
And offers a sad smile
A plastic sorry
...
And I forgive you.
Every
Single
Time.

He gave me dead flowers
So I can smell them every day
The rotten petals falling
The color of decay

The washed out sunflower
The dehydrated leaves
The mold on the water
The color of debris

The richly red rose
Now drooping to the floor
The color of love
Existed no more

But still I saved the flowers
And smelled them every day
And watered them with tears
To let them grow again.