At first I wanted to just be friends
You were a shy girl
Not many friends
You tried to hide from the world
In that dark desolate corner you called home
I ended up getting too close
And falling in love with you
I couldn't help it
Your eyes sang a million songs
That made my heart beat to the rhythm of
Your smile aroused billions of butterflies
That fluttered in my stomach
Your laugh created chills
That crawled down my spine
You became the very essence of my poetry
Every line a curve of your body
Every stanza a feature elegantly placed on your body
Every metaphor a slight over exaggeration of your intense beauty
And every thing I wanted to do to you
I thought of every time I glanced in your direction
I wanted to tear the shirt from your chest
Kiss the pulsating veins in your neck
I wanted to feel the curves I wrote about
I wanted to taste every feature
I wanted to smell your perfume
That always seemed to arouse me
I wanted to hear the late night moans
Of your pure pleasure and enjoyment
I wanted to see that intense flame of ****** desire in your eyes
I wanted to embrace you when we were done
I wanted to stay and watch the sun kiss you good morning
I wanted to listen to your breathing slow as you slept
I wanted to love you in more ways than this
I wanted to please your every desire
I wanted to bring you out of the desolate lands of oblivion
I tried my best to love you
But when things got too serious
You abandon everything we ever had
You must of lied to me every time you said "I love you"
You must not have meant it
You used me for the pure desire of self happiness
You got high off my love
You almost over dosed on my *******
Yet you still had the audacity to walk away from it all
Everything I wanted to do to you
I told you
From taking you to watch the sunset in Arizona
To watching the sun rise on the great Pacific Ocean
I made you happy all the time
Yet you only found happiness in sulking in misery
You never wanted love
And you ran from it
Every time it kissed you
I built an empire for you
I built walls impenetrable by foreign enemies
When in all actuality your reason for allowing me to do so
Was to lock me out when you decided to flee
Yet you still find it hard to attend to the walls
As they start crumbling and eroding
Every time I smile
Every time I laugh
And it's not with you
You want me to pretend nothing ever even happened
Yet everything I wanted to do to you
I never hid from you
I was blunt and straightforward
I wanted you to be exited and surprised
When you saw the bill
When you saw how much happiness cost
It cost our love and friendship
So I hope your happy now
I hope your smile is real now
I wanted to be the reason for them
Now all I want to do to you
Is rip your throat out
For leaving my heart
Broken, bleeding, drunk off love, and at my feet
Everything I wanted to do to you
Went from romantic to homicidal
But I just can't find that level of hatred
To even pull it off
Simply because I still love you

I stop writing when you told me you love me.

*Now, I'm back.

Gusto kong tumula ng hindi patungkol sayo.
Gusto ko namang aliwin ang makata na nasa loob ko.
Dahil pagod na ako.
Pagod na pagod na akong habulin ka gamit ang aking panulat at mga salita.
Pagod na akong ipaunawa sayo kung ano nga ba ang kahulugan ng "Mahal kita"
Mahal kita hindi dahil mahal mo ako.
Na ang mahal kita ay hindi isang katanungan na dapat ay sinasagot.
Na pag sinabi kong mahal kita,
mahal kita at yun na yun.

Kaya gusto ko munang bumalik sa umpisa.
Kung saan, mahal ko lahat ng nasa paligid.
Mahal ko ang mga ibon na nasa himpapawid.
Mahal ko ang puno na nagbibigay sakin ng lilim.
Mahal ko ang kalangitan at
ang ganda nito ay sadyang kaibig-ibig.

Dahil nung dumating ka,
huminto ang pag ikot ng mundo ko. Ikaw ang sistemang kumain sa buong pagkatao ko.
Binulag mo ako.
Wala akong makita.
Nabingi ako.
Hindi ako makarinig.
Akala ko tama lang ito,
na ganito ang pakiramdam ng pag ibig.
Nakakaadik. Nakakabaliw.
Ikaw lang ang gusto ko.
Ikaw lang ang isusulat ko.
Tinuring kitang diyos.
Sinamba at pinaubaya sayo lahat.
Pero para sayo, hindi parin pala ito sapat.

Iba pala ang ibig sabihin ng pagmamahal mo.
Pahiram lang pala sakin lahat ng alaala mo.
Mahal mo ako dahil ayaw mo ng maiwan
Mahal mo ako sa kadahilang alam **** hindi kita sasaktan
Mahal mo ako dahil alam **** ibibigay ko lahat sa iyo
Na susungkitin ko ang mga tala sa kalangitan para magdulot ng ngiti sa labi mo
Na isusulat kita ng tula kung saan ikaw ay isang perpektong nilalang
-- Yun lang pala ang habol mo.

Kaya hindi, ito na ang huli
Ito na ang huling beses na mag aaksaya ako ng papel at tinta
Ito na ang huling beses na magiging parte ka ng aking mundo ko
-- at ng aking mga tula.
Kaya paalam na sa iyo, aking Ginoo.

Dahil aaliwin ko muna ang makatang nasa loob ko na pinatay mo.

"Why did you stop writing?"*

I don't know myself anymore.

Believe me, you deserved someone better

You're not just a chapter,
You are the whole story.

"What are your vices?"* I asked
"It's you" Your reply