Dear Somebody,

     Nobody wants to see you sad and lonely.


Always here,

Nobody

Who am I
Who am I to think that it all will be ok.
When my heart is shattered for the first time
A million pieces on the floor
While I stand up confident and smiling
I'm shuttering and in excruciating pain inside

Who am I
To seem put together
To put on that plastic smile
That makes money and wins hearts
The smile that wins; the smile that takes

Who am I
To crush hearts
But when I myself am crushed
Be surprised at the anguish

Who am I
To just want to touch you
To just want to hold you and feel your warmth
To feel you there in my sleep
To once in my life not feel alone
You can run, you can go
Just a moment more with you would be worth a million heartaches and a million bruises
I'm broken inside, but I'd do it again just to kiss that beautiful face and feel ok for a moment more.


And so I drown into myself. My hard controlling self. But I have to breathe eventually. And I come up--gasping for air-- and pooling my tears around me; I remember how it feels to be broken. Then I pull myself down to drown once more. Covered in my plastic suffocation. I am safe. I will be safe. Blissful suffocation

I was born to love everyone but I loved so hard the insides of my lugs tore apart. Sometimes I love too deep. In a city too dark to love in, we overlook the mountain and hedges that have pricked the life of us with thorns, banished us in places that see silence through congested thoughts. We sing Like a humming birds. Singing in attempt to abolish the very existence of our stars and the stars we shared yet, we lay quilted in stardust and the silhouettes of our shadows. They burst into flames or kaleidoscopes, a beauty, complimented by the prophecy of life itself. Sometimes we hope to speak like our words have lost themselves in the coils of our tongues but we hope to live with strength not habituated in settings of frost and snow. Our worlds don't intertwine but our hopes do. We seek refuge in prayer during the midst of our foggy minds and the very cosmos of our thoughts. We recite the soft speech of the holy book to excuse us from the blackness of the universe. Our souls wonder naked from emotions and exposed to our own destinies created with incompatibility and dissection.

he reaches his hands out and picks me up,
"do you hate me?" he questions, trying to wipe my tears away before i retreat.
"i don't not love you" i say after moments of silence.
his head drops.
i leave our house, only returning when i am sure he is not there.
a month later i still have not spoken to him,
but back we go.
for more heartbreaks and lies.
it's finally over,
i can leave this house,
and find a place to call home.
and it will be home,
even without him.

every whisper
every wish
every tear
every smile
is you!
my entire life
all my feelings
all my moods
the best part of me
is you!
I don’t know why
I don’t know how
I don’t know when
but
I know
this is our sentence
and our nirvana
you are
my perfect half
and I’m yours
wherever we’ll be
whatever we’ll do
we’ll feel each other
two pieces of one
deep love
true love
nothing else