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***** hands
Broken teeth
Shatterd eyes
Shocking glare

Broken pavement
Bloodied soul

These cards are not your own.
You called me a ***** from my first breath.

Extenuating circumstances were but a detail; extenuating being - nonexistent.

This sheltered child that just wanted love and knew no better.
This sheltered
— gay— ******* girl —
wanted acceptance and found it in her abyss.

Where her quirks were labeled earned her outcast. Lines up her calves. Feelings of something other than the terror that ensued.

Listen to your mother - she’ll tell you your worth - a list of pros and cons - calls to the cops - but is it worth her gaze ?
Moms busy in the bathroom.
Were you ready to be a parent so soon?

They see the lines - they smell the cigarette dreams. Do they see your drowning? Do they hear your screams?
(((Isn’t the answer simple?)))
runningIntheDark Nov 2019
I’ve always had some days
that I dont exist.

Some days,
I just can’t try anymore.
I can’t be anymore; life's heavy.

When will I go a day and be
able to breathe through;

I’m still waiting.

I’m so happy,
But ******* sad.
It’s never gone away.

I just keep reaching and reaching.
Falling harder and harder every time. Drowning into myself and my suffocation.

It all feels so ******* unobtainable.

Someone made a world for
everyone. Except me.
runningIntheDark Nov 2019
I’ve never been the one to
Break

It’s the world around
That seems to
Snap

But with you;
a tear from your eye causes my entirety to
Shatter

My love, you’re my world.
My existence summed up into a person.

How
-terrifyingly beautiful-
can that possibly be

You hold my heart in your palms

I’ll have it no other way.
runningIntheDark Feb 2019
freedom
in a few words;
after a million lies.

freedom
in a couple minutes;
after years.

freedom
the glass closet fell away;
shattering.

freedom
in a few words;
I was free.
runningIntheDark May 2018
Realizing I'm not where I belong, just where I am.

Realizing I lost my love for myself and I can't pour from an empty cup.

Realizing I'm on my way, but not there yet.

Realizing that breaking someone else, won't build me.

Realizing that caring, isn't always easy, nor will it repair anything.

Realizing that eventually these rains will stop and these winds will cease.
runningIntheDark May 2018
When I finally broke; I shattered.
Little broken shards, in my tiny glass closet.
Bloodied and broken.
Shaking with a pain and understanding I had never felt.
A brokenness I needed to know.
An understanding of the way it should be.
In opposition to the way it was.
My glass closet door could be left ajar.
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