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Specs Sep 2018
Today is gray.
The beads of rain burst against
Panes of windows, cars, roofs,
My outstretched palm, welcoming the chilled drops.
Tires roll differently in the rain,
Passing
With the wet whooshing of waves in the ocean.
When it rains, it is perpetually dusk, scant light filtering through a heavy blanket of clouds.
My drink steams.
I smile.
I live in the desert and I love the rain
Specs Aug 2018
When people say, "let me know how I can help,"
I always smile and nod.
It's sweet of them, and kind, but on the inside my heart

d
  r
   o
     p
       s

Later than night, when I'm curled under my desk,
hands over my ears
and the smothering weight of panic squeezes me, crushes me,
that sentence echoes.
"How can I help?"
I don't know.
I don't know.
Can you help?
Can I be helped?
I sit and ride it out, and my phone stays on the table.

The next day they ask, "are you doing better?"
I reach for my pen and scratch a smile onto my face.
Much better. Thank you for asking.
My insides are empty.
Specs Aug 2018
Sometimes the words you say out of love hurt.
Stabbing, cutting words that, underneath their sounds,
Tell me that you don't think I can.
And that is precisely the reason why you only know my facade.

But now that facade is breaking.
Cracks spiderwebbing throughout my arms,
Tears ripping away from my legs,
Chunks missing from my chest, and
If you look closely, you can see the dark empty inside
Through the shattered windows of my eyes.

Soon the facade will crumble away
And you won't know the person in front of you.
Specs Aug 2018
Have you ever noticed that when you do something brave–
Something rattling,
Something that makes your heart bounce,
Something that steals the breath right out of your lungs–
That the world keeps spinning?
Time doesn't stand still,
It ticks on,
Passing by,
Moment after moment.
The earth keeps the feeling of invincibility just out of reach
After you've tasted one drop.
People don't acknowledge it the way you think they will.
That moment is gone in a few whispering breaths,
And it is forgotten by all but you.
Specs Aug 2018
I know I'm not a morning person
Not am I one at night
I'm not quite sure just what I am,
'Cause nothing feels quite right.

The night-time makes my eyelids droop
The mornings seem to crawl.
Not a morning or a night person–
I don't think I'm a person at all.


/\   /\
(  •w•  )
\        /
   __/
    
I'm secretly a bat
this is the result of poorly organized and divided notes and doodles

Happy Halloween!
Specs Aug 2018
Today was hard, I felt detached.
I didn't notice my socks weren't matched.
I spilt some ketchup on my shirt,
And dropped my lunch into the dirt.
Later in, to increase my doom,
I locked my pack inside the room.
I've been good, as good as can be,
So why, Mr. Murphy, is this happening to me?
I've had it up to here! This is the last straw!
I'm sick of being picked on by Mr. Murphy's Law!
Sometimes life is hard
Specs Jul 2018
A young girl plants a garden,
Teaching herself through books.
She’s pulling out **** by ****,
Passing by the games and brooks.

She yawns as she rises each morn
To tend her plants so dear.
Pansies, daisies, daffodils,
Her love for them is clear.

She picks a bunch this morning,
A sweet-smelling bouquet,
And enters naught but joy into
The Fair’s gardening display.

The girl is young and inexperienced,
She knows this but she smiles.
For even if she doesn’t win,
Her flowers are seen for miles.

The day does end, as all days must,
The girl waits with giddy thoughts.
Surprisingly she’s awarded
A ribbon of forget-me-nots.

In a completely awed excitement,
The girl rushes down the way.
In fact she’s so exuberant
She near forgets her own bouquet!

She runs down her street into her home,
Pride gleaming in her eyes.
“Ma, Pa, I’ve worked so hard,
Guess what! I’ve earned first prize!

“All those early mornings and work
Helped me win my ribbon of blue.
I came home as quick as I could,
I just had to tell you!”

Her mother puts down her magazine,
Her father looks up from the news.
They stand up, looking at the flowers,
And, with a few words, extinguish her fuse.

“You silly girl, you should know better.”
“Oh honey, what did you do?”
“We raised you smarter than this, my dear,
You can’t put flowers in stew.”
Unsupportive parents raise anxious children
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