Roads divided
And hearts are blinded
By pain

For what?

Brain is pounding
Sirens are sounding
Insane

Enough?

I am still young
I could gaze at the sun
For years

what cost?

I have lost friends
But they weren't, in the end,
I tried

I lost

I saw him today.
I wanted to speak so bad.
I wanted to hug him, kiss him, tell him that I missed him.
I wanted him to know I only wanted him, that everything about him made me weak inside......but my pride.
As much as I wanted to do all those things I didn't know how, where to start, I didn't know how to let this man know he played a heavy part in my
thoughts. That his warmth & embrace is all I think about and God I wanted to ask him did he feel the same.

But he said nothing.
I said nothing.
I just saw him.

“How come you always stay in your room so much?” a little girl once asked me.
“Because I have anxiety, darling”
“Where is your anxiety?”
I pointed to my head. She nodded.
But that wasn’t entirely true.

I should’ve pointed
to my hands,
full of earthquakes and after shakes;
my arm,
blade rakes and skin breaks;
my smile,
nothing short of fake;
my whole body,
just one big ache.

My voice was shaken
My mind went blank
My palms were sweat
My hands were cold

The look they gave me was shame
Their minds are full of poisonous remark
I can't bear the eyes that will judge
I am not perfect, **would all of you stop?