To love is to derail your path
put aside your own desires
throw yourself upon the pyre
to feed the fires that burn in someone else's heart
an act of madness from the very start
not a sacrifice, for that implies regret
yet we impale ourselves, to feel love's sting
on the reddest rose with the sharpest thorn
the sweetest pain which must be borne
a beautiful sabotage

I sank one day
Deep into
A tree
Becoming
One with
The nurtured
Roots
I wished to be

This path is my routine,
Traffic lights glint to green,
I feel plastered to the ground,
In the middle with vehicles moving around,
Blurred vision, numbing mind,
I could still hear the honking behind.
At this moment, at this point,
I don't want to move, I want to realize,
Something which I have wondered for a while,
Not being a daughter,
Nor a sister,
Not a citizen,
Nor a student,
Not a devotee,
Not a friend,
Nor an enemy,
Without any tie,
In this world What am I?
Not the pretend,
Nor the true,
Not the nice, taking the bait,
Not the constant struggle to sustain,
Not the one I want to be,
Not the one the world wants to see,
Behind the sweet smile,
Behind the scars,
Behind the masks,
Buried so deep,
Not the eyes,
Nor the body,
Not the one which everyone sees,
When I face the mirror,
I always wonder I don't know why,
Behind the curtains,
Who am I?

I will not trade
my serenity for
madness.
This sadness only
lasts a little while.
I don't want to be
in Wonderland anymore.
Everyone is crazy.
whichever way I
turn, left or right,
it's lunacy.

I deal in reality now.
I won't play croquet with
the queen, no matter
how much she smiles.
The game is fixed, and I
know it.
The deck is stacked.
The cards are laid,
and I see the
***** behind
her eyes.

I said I didn’t
but I did
I wasn’t supposed to
give a ****
Never seem to
get ahead
imagining scenarios
in my head
They’re always too good
to be true
I die alone if
I die with you
I die alone if
I die with you

End it when I can’t
seem to think
of anything that
means anything
Add a break then
start again
Treat it all as one
in the same
Treat it all as one
in the same

Repeat it to make
it seem important
It only takes more
energy
The reward is
fleeting
But you’re still
here reading
But you’re still
here reading

And that’s comforting

The end