The pain is gone, I can finally sleep
Waiting so long for this agony to leave
Been storing this virus away in my vault
Now I realized it was both our faults

Promised you I'd loved you every day and night
And thinking that it would make everything alright
And yes it seems we loved too hard and lost the fun
Guess that happens when you are so young

Now she's leaving
Now I'm leaving
We’ll always remember

How much we cared for each other in our youth
But now it's time for us to move
And it's true
We both gotta go on and explore the world
And rest assured I'll
Never forget that girl

And yes, she was my very first love
And she made me believe there was a god above
And if there were issues you know we’d resolve them
But there was only one problem

We were so inexperienced
Two years until we realized we couldn’t handle it
Acted like we were married we were kids
And we both lacked common sense

Now she's leaving
Now I'm leaving
We’ll always remember

How much we cared for each other in our youth
But now it's time for us to move
And it's true
We both gotta go on and explore the world
And rest assured I'll
Never forget that girl

And I'll will never forget you
I’ll never forget you
Now were moving on
Now were moving on
Now were moving on
Love is never gone

And how we cared for each other in our youth
But now it's time for me and you
You know
How much we cared for each other  in our youth
But now it's time for me and you
And you know its true
We both gotta explore the world
And I gotta explore the world
And you wanna explore the world
And rest assured I'll
Oh rest assured ill
Never forget you girl

To the Moon and back have I loved you,
To the Moon, that I have loved for too long.
You cannot even see me within this song,
You cannot love nor see me anew.

To the Moon and stars have I missed you,
I have seen your sins, and hearts *****,
I have searched for you around the sun
I have longed for you, trapped within me.

To the Moon and skies have I writ,
With not so much merit and a little wit,
I have loved you in a single heartbeat,
I have left you but, my darling, merry meet.

To the Moon and the heart that I knew,
There are not many words to utter,
That such feelings have gone forever,
And have you loved me, forgot me not?

To the Moon and lungs of the earth,
Have I loved again, within my breath?
Have I lost my poems and sights of death?
Have I been sunk in your cold wrath?

To the Moon and the rigid Sunshine,
I have believed not in your fate,
That such a chill still catches me by surprise
That such choices may not be wise.

To the Moon and Earth have I told you,
That all is not much like a children's tale,
Perhaps I can go again, wish me well,
There is not much of a love like you.

To the Moon and life have I seen you,
I have loved you as my fate, a fulfillment
That to wishful dreams such is a mate
Not to be with theirs, not too late.

To the Moon and Night have I seen again,
Have I read, and devoured frank white tales,
Have I longed, have I dreamed, and kissed
Have I fallen in love with a young twist.

To the Moon and breath have I heard,
And all was a nightmare to my chest,
The morning, such a shy dawn,
Is unlike any other night I have seen.

To the Moon and Light have I sworn,
That such a poet has sainted a tone,
She sits and stares, all in silence,
Love is love in her white solitude.

To the Moon and Fate have I told,
Such white nights are to behold,
And within them is a scary love,
What is not a scary tale to me.

To the Moon and Rise have I called,
Around the skies and earth to reach you,
You, whose gaze made me bare and anew,
I, who saw all the lithe winds in blue.

To the Moon and Snow have I gone,
To want to bring you to me alone,
To make myself known to such grace,
To love you and back again in haste.

To the Moon and bliss have I sworn,
That such a desire is not forlorn,
As far as my stories can tell,
So long as my lifeless dreams are felt.

To the Moon and shapes have I wanted,
I have wanted you like none else does,
With a ****** rose and sea that last,
With an ocean at present, of the past.

To the Moon and storms have I swum,
In such coldness, all longings must go numb,
But who would astound such loving feelings
Who should say yet, ‘tis a morning?

To the Moon and lands have I been,
To the swathes of love of the Neverland,
But who would whisk away such strange love
While there is much, there is enough?

To the Moon and day have I reached,
That such a chest is not bare, no more,
I have filled my love with a thousand days,
I have teased my sight with a hundred lights.

To the Moon and shores have I dreamed,
With a dark slice of weariness up high,
A tinge of bitterness is in your eyes,
A hint of sweetness at my sour nights.

To the Moon and heart have I sent you,
To the vast love I have unleashed,
That I want you but more in my arms
To such spilling lights, to such a free fate.

To the Moon and Sea have I sainted you,
In the so much rain like I used to,
I have sprinted to you, and run back again
I love you in the sun, under the rain

To the Moon and Soul have I burned you,
That you remain but a naive flesh to me
One that propels my heights, my destiny
One that I have all here with me.

To the Moon and words have I writ of you,
And chosen you to be my serene song
I have loved you with such trueness
I have loved you for too long.

Arent you the one who made me smile????when all the world turned their backs??? arent you the one who made me reach the mile...when problems were coming by the stacks???? Why did you do it??? What did you have to gain....after all...i'm only me....heart break and loneliness..sadness and pain..thats all i was...what did you have to gain??? Why come and help me..when i was already drowning...what made you see any hope??? Well i guess you know more than me....because the sun is already shining...and behold...i see a safety rope....all i can say...is that you've taught me true happiness..when all i had known was frustration and sadness....What can i say??? but thank you...for i owe...it is true..i owe you....and what else can i say??? when you've been of sunshine, a ray...when everything about you calls to me and tell me..to be myself..and to put hopelessness on a dark shelf...

From among dreams that come to shine and be mirrored
outside of our sleep,
we find a sea of life inside a flawless silence.
Without thought,
we cherish the intoxication
putting our lives in a state of perfect balance.

A first kiss can grab your heart
and leave it beating faster
than sand flows in the hourglass of time.
Or, it can cast a shadow on everything
that is required
when you find yourself asking,
what is the beat I hear in my mind?

The brightest feathers are dismissed by memories
of lines once wrote
about the image of the moon.
For the first time we dared to dream
about more than a jagged rhythm
never succumbing
to finding a new tune.

We find we do not care if we are bathed
in laughter or neglect
as long as we are next to one another
in a portrait where we smile.
We will still dance inside our words of love,
smooth as glass for miles and miles.

Closer and closer the trueness of our hearts
becomes visible to all Heaven and Earth
here below
with gravity held only as a slave.
A slave with tears that wash away any doubt
that what goes up
must come down right away.

Seeing Differently


Take a plain window have an artist with sensitivity add rain and with the vision disfigured you
See though it is only raw rain it takes on the appearance of looking through frozen icicles
Everything your vision catches is broken as just solid forms of many colors electrifying
Stimulating a quiet delight changes everything the ordinary like snow takes the everyday and
Makes it a true winter wonderland the sidewalk tree foliage and shop roofs are perfect because
They are different tones and blends of color with someone in the foreground in bright pink this
Is all for one time instead of clear vision this difficulty creates pleasure for the eye I started
In my schooling at three years old my class room was at my great grandmothers when I got
There my crippled grandmother was in her wheelchair right next to her ninety year old blind
Mother they both set in their wheelchairs great grandmother ask me to come and stand in
Front Of her while with old feeble hands she felt my face knowledge passed through her fingers
To her and love passed through me as I stood as nothing in this revered setting whatever small
Doubts I might have had about life and my place in it this one thing I knew I was somebody I felt
Loved Excepted I felt human worth because it resonated from their presence there is an ancient
One that we stand before in this case the blindness rest on and with us he sees perfectly where
We truly are in much darkness it deals with trueness at the deepest level we all know that a lot
Of our speech is real but there is the time we are tenderly raw and open without trying to guard
Ourselves we speak from deep within what special times those are He touches unlike
Grandmother but He by His spirit touches the whole fiber of our being body soul and spirit but
How much we miss because our lives have not only blindness but darkness of our actions that
Respells His presence because he is holy in fact we have the rebel nature that defies one so
Loving we are his gifted dreams that he gives to others to name just a few gifts Steve Jobs for
Technology marvelous toys and more Walt Disney movies and the most fun place to go as
As a family a family Jim Henson’s widow co-creator of the Muppets just died what an empty
World it would be for children but He provides these treasures that cover the globe we don’t
Move in those circles but we enrich our world and bless our friends with our lives with the
Limitations we draw between ourselves in him He makes sure we still can give a lot but could
You see what more and how fantastic life could really be if we took the restraints out of the
Way and let him freely move in our lives I don’t know of one person who would not appreciate
A Deeper life my schooling continues when I meet someone they don’t understand the
Intensity and depth that I place on them this will bring you at times great pain because life has
That to go Along with such joy truly “no one is an island unto himself” being a true friend on
Deep levels is Costly but it is our best way of showing His wonderful greatness to others it is
Truly taking a Slice of heaven and inserting it in this natural walk it can be endured or blessed
With lips of clay Heaven will bow as the willow and touch common ground and make it golden
The nightingale will sing and cause the sweetest affection that will be spellbinding and other
Worldly it just Takes seeing differently and the walking that path to greater perfection

Part One - Missing presumed dead

Apparently Alec was missing presumed dead
at least that was what the obituary said
how then he got married is still a mystery
life after a very dark period of history

               Jane plodded head down through another long day
               solitude complete in a strange kind of way
               while Kestrels are tacked to an untamed sky
               she screams "Dear Lord wont you please tell me why"

young Alec stood well over six foot tall
legs full of shrapnell disfigured and all
willing to give all for a meagre days pay
a young man with half of his face blown away

                Shepherdess Jane sat under sad twinkling stars
                it was plain to see she had her own mental scars
                the Ferryman's Daughter, she was so kind
                different from the others, Jane was blind

when the bells of victory began to ring forth
it was too much for Alec, he headed up North
up to the North where the bronze fields shone
but Alec's old personality had gone

                 there in the North a young Shepherdess called Jane
                 did dry Alec's tears and soothed his deep pain
                 Her voice rolled over hills in a plaintive wave
                 as they assumed Alec lied in an unmarked grave

In time they married, Jane bore Alec a Son
but talk about the war, Alec would have none
all that he said was "between you and me..
I've seen things that no man should ever see"

                 flashbacks in his mind of the dead still ringing
                 offset by his young Wife's ethereal singing
                 somewhere around the Somme young Alec lay dead
                 at least that was what the obituary said.


Part Two - The Ferryman

The Ferryman vowed he would find his girl
he picked some roses to place in the top room
searched high and low to find his precious lost pearl
swore he would have her back before the flowers bloom

treated like a slave, a young girl in her prime
the Brothers got away Jane was left behind
her body it did whither through the passing of time
She was different from the others, Jane was blind

worked as a Milkmaid her hands would get so sore
under constant threats she still searched for the spark
work never done a family waits on the shore
although Jane was blind she could see in the dark

the moon shone bright on the path to the Ferry House
the gusts picked up on the night Jane ran away
salty wind and sea shanty's awakened the grouse
as Jane finally gets her break from the play

He scoured every square inch of the land
yet couldn't ask why? Or search into his past
at the Wayfarers Inn they'd got it all planned
released from a cruelty that could no longer last

the night the Father died Gaelic psalms they sang
a lonely house still stands like a watch to nature's will
when they buried the Ferryman the church bells rang
the flowers in the attic, they stand there still.


Part three - The Inn (recapitulation)

The Ferrymans lantern swung in the pouring rain
he heard that his Daughter had made it to the Inn
the audience sang to the Drovers refrain
midst discarded cigarettes, rolling dice and gin

Jane had long picked brambles from thorn covered vines
lived an intoned existence yet she had her plans
though Jane was blind she could read between the lines
a chance to escape, she grabbed it with both hands

the Inn's cosy light shone at the end of the lane
to Whiskey Jack, Jane's elopement had come to light
she had nothing to lose and everything to gain
Jane's now with Alec and has recieved her respite

see him dramming away yarns, bereft of what's true
then screaming his lies to the starry sky above
but tidal subtleties are demanding their due
his heart had long died to the trueness of love

the landlord played the piano and felt every note
the Ferryman's lantern swung in the pouring rain
given up his search, now in want of his boat
regular at the Inn but never seen again

he knew that yesterday would never come back
sailing aimlessly like a throw of the dice
he knew there would be no-one to take up the slack
the doomed Mariner paid the ultimate price.

In a world where creativity is put first

no ranks

no grades

because how can you judge a human race

on if they made a certain grade

when we cannot even explain

the trueness of the big bang

oh, intelligence is fine

but I think it's not right

since we all come from a different whom

and are still expected to be advanced at school

school should become extinct

we have our brains still to think

no test is bigger than life

so maybe we should start *studying

Drawing upon the core of my being, I muster up the strength to survive.
Stepping into another plane of existence; one in which I have no capacity to resist toxicity; I am vulnerable.
A juggernaut lies at the end of the daylight hours; soft in temper and yet scourging in it’s pronouncements.
This is a being with no malicious intent; a sentinel guarding the sacred caliber of a spirit under divine instruction.

Darkness pervades in the form of light; I can sense a façade of purity within the confines of my bones.
This fortress that I have traversed into is infected with a murky haze looming just above the skies.
Escape is my only option; if I remain here it will be my demise.
When the juggernaut arrives, trepidation will electrify my soul; it will animate me.

Fear consumes me with every waking second I’m in it’s midst.
-This gargantuan being understands-
Empathy cannot save me however, once the utterances of ancient spirit inflict scathing wounds upon me in the name of humanity.
Attempting to rescue me from the tumult of the planet does not obscure the pain and heartache of compassionate words.

Wisdom lies within this walking tome; statue-esque maiden.
I have used my discernment as a bulwark; protection from wounds of sensitivity lies in detachment from myself.
I have come to realize that supplication does have a purpose.
-To plea with the remnants of a long forgotten world-

I am overwhelmed with euphoria when I realize that my fears have been nothing but stymie.
Fleeting in nature; they whispered to me of my incapacity to reach the heart of a relic growing wiser by the minute.
There is no judgment to be passed and I have been emancipated from the shackles of a foreshadowing past.
It leads to my genesis; the day when I shall be lifted up past all my iniquity.

Until that day, I await the metamorphosis of an ailing planet.
The Juggernaut does have a purpose.
This maiden shall be a beacon amongst the tumult of the seasons.
I shall look to her as a guide and honesty is what shall pervade from her lips.

In trueness she shall bestow her utterances upon me.
Like the sweetest honey, her words will befall my eardrums.
Internalization spurs a chemical reaction within me.
I am changing.

I have been enveloped by blinding rays of light.
The darkness is no match for the spiritual sinew that I possess.
I am growing by the second… I am growing prayer by prayer.
-Amen-

By Iridescently Efflorescent

Drawing upon the core of my being, I muster up the strength to survive.
Stepping into another plane of existence; one in which I have no capacity to resist toxicity; I am vulnerable.
A juggernaut lies at the end of the daylight hours; soft in temper and yet scourging in it’s pronouncements.
This is a being with no malicious intent; a sentinel guarding the sacred caliber of a spirit under divine instruction.

Darkness pervades in the form of light; I can sense a façade of purity within the confines of my bones.
This fortress that I have traversed into is infected with a murky haze looming just above the skies.
Escape is my only option; if I remain here it will be my demise.
When the juggernaut arrives, trepidation will electrify my soul; it will animate me.

Fear consumes me with every waking second I’m in it’s midst.
-This gargantuan being understands-
Empathy cannot save me however, once the utterances of ancient spirit inflict scathing wounds upon me in the name of humanity.
Attempting to rescue me from the tumult of the planet does not obscure the pain and heartache of compassionate words.

Wisdom lies within this walking tome; statue-esque maiden.
I have used my discernment as a bulwark; protection from wounds of sensitivity lies in detachment from myself.
I have come to realize that supplication does have a purpose.
-To plea with the remnants of a long forgotten world-

I am overwhelmed with euphoria when I realize that my fears have been nothing but stymie.
Fleeting in nature; they whispered to me of my incapacity to reach the heart of a relic growing wiser by the minute.
There is no judgment to be passed and I have been emancipated from the shackles of a foreshadowing past.
It leads to my genesis; the day when I shall be lifted up past all my iniquity.

Until that day, I await the metamorphosis of an ailing planet.
The Juggernaut does have a purpose.
This maiden shall be a beacon amongst the tumult of the seasons.
I shall look to her as a guide and honesty is what shall pervade from her lips.

In trueness she shall bestow her utterances upon me.
Like the sweetest honey, her words will befall my eardrums.
Internalization spurs a chemical reaction within me.
I am changing.

I have been enveloped by blinding rays of light.
The darkness is no match for the spiritual sinew that I possess.
I am growing by the second… I am growing prayer by prayer.
-Amen-

By Iridescently Efflorescent

Ill just wake up with the sun
I appreciate the effort
The sad sign of romance
The trueness of a goodnight kiss
Goodnight my chivalry




The vagabond is striking matches
The harmonica wont squeal the way it should
It wont hmm the way it did
The music has changed


The music had changed

Take a plain window have an artist with sensitivity add rain and with the vision disfigured you
See though it is only raw rain it takes on the appearance of looking through frozen icicles
Everything your vision catches is broken as just solid forms of many colors electrifying
Stimulating a quiet delight changes everything the ordinary like snow takes the everyday and
Makes it a true winter wonderland the sidewalk tree foliage and shop roofs are perfect because
They are different tones and blends of color with someone in the foreground in bright pink this
Is all for one time instead of clear vision this difficulty creates pleasure for the eye I started
In my schooling at three years old my class room was at my great grandmothers when I got
There my crippled grandmother was in her wheelchair right next to her ninety year old blind
Mother they both set in their wheelchairs great grandmother ask me to come and stand in
Front Of her while with old feeble hands she felt my face knowledge passed through her fingers
To her and love passed through me as I stood as nothing in this revered setting whatever small
Doubts I might have had about life and my place in it this one thing I knew I was somebody I felt
Loved Excepted I felt human worth because it resonated from their presence there is an ancient
One that we stand before in this case the blindness rest on and with us he sees perfectly where
We truly are in much darkness it deals with trueness at the deepest level we all know that a lot
Of our speech is real but there is the time we are tenderly raw and open without trying to guard
Ourselves we speak from deep within what special times those are He touches unlike
Grandmother but He by His spirit touches the whole fiber of our being body soul and spirit but
How much we miss because our lives have not only blindness but darkness of our actions that
Respells His presence because he is holy in fact we have the rebel nature that defies one so
Loving we are his gifted dreams that he gives to others to name just a few gifts Steve Jobs for
Technology marvelous toys and more Walt Disney movies and the most fun place to go as
As a family a family Jim Henson’s widow co-creator of the Muppets just died what an empty
World it would be for children but He provides these treasures that cover the globe we don’t
Move in those circles but we enrich our world and bless our friends with our lives with the
Limitations we draw between ourselves in him He makes sure we still can give a lot but could
You see what more and how fantastic life could really be if we took the restraints out of the
Way and let him freely move in our lives I don’t know of one person who would not appreciate
A Deeper life my schooling continues when I meet someone they don’t understand the
Intensity and depth that I place on them this will bring you at times great pain because life has
That to go Along with such joy truly “no one is an island unto himself” being a true friend on
Deep levels is Costly but it is our best way of showing His wonderful greatness to others it is
Truly taking a Slice of heaven and inserting it in this natural walk it can be endured or blessed
With lips of clay Heaven will bow as the willow and touch common ground and make it golden
The nightingale will sing and cause the sweetest affection that will be spellbinding and other
Worldly it just Takes seeing differently and the walking that path to greater perfection

I stood beside you, absorbed
Your unique quality, looked
In your direction and
Gave birth to a newness of mind

I see you and all you are
I feel the difference between us
Yet know it is coated in humility
Offering what is real, what is honest
Accepting of you and me

We could walk the same path but
Come to know our own view
Yet we would gain trueness and
Freedom of choice; an exploration
Of another through travelling down
The avenue to inhale.....

The scent of unfamiliar perspective

Jesus, Son of The Father
Hanging on a Roman Cross
Pierced for the iniquity of men
Killed for the love of His bride
With nails in His hands
Swords in His sides
Thorns on His head
His body slain
The body to feed His bride
His blood poured
The blood to quench the Church

"This is my body"
To eat of it
To feed the bride.
The Body of Christ,
The Bread of Heaven
To delight in the Holy Eucharist,
The spiritual feast, in Communion with God
To worship the Holy Name of the Savior

"This is my blood"
To drink of it
To quench the bride.
The Blood of Christ,
The Cup of Salvation
To delight in the Holy Eucharist
The spiritual feast, in Communion with God
To worship the Holy Name of the Savior

Hanging on the Roman Cross
God, The Son Himself crying to the Father
"Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachtani?"
"My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?"
Plagued by the false view of the Father
The pagan god in the hearts of men
Inherited with the humanity of The Son
While the sin of man
Hangs with the Son of Man

The earth shaking
And hearts breaking
With eyes crying
And law tearing
With the world changing
And The Son dying

The trueness,
The oneness
Of the Father
United with The Son and Spirit
In communion with The Spirit and Son

The Gifts of God
For the People of God
To partake in whenever together
In Remembrance of the savior
Christ died for us
Feed on Him with our hearts
And remember our union in Him
With Faith and Thanksgiving

We are saved by the triune God of grace
By the Love of the triune God of love
By the Blessing of God Almighty
The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit
Be upon us and remain forever
Let us keep the feast!
Allelujah!

The trueness of a friend,
or a friend of trueness,
sits in a room unnoticed,
but altogether understood.

The skies are so beautiful tonight
They wait for our founded love
Under the moonlight
The fullness of it's sheen
Where we surrender our best
In the sweet sweats of our dreams
The whine and the punts
In the sweet sweats of our dreams

The clouds are still grey tonight
They await for our sacrifice
Our touch, the sighs, the bangs
The trueness of their sight
Where our eyes steals our hearts  
In the sweet sweats of our dreams
The whine and the punts
In the sweet sweats of our dreams

I want her,
I need her,
I love her.

But I want them,
I need them,
I love them.

Is it a question of who I love more,
Or perhaps who I need more?

Maybe it’s a question of who I can live without,
But regardless, my answer stays the same.  

Why do they make me choose?
Why can’t I love her and you?

They are so adamant about me loving him
That they ignore the trueness of the love I have beside me.

Do you want me,
Do you need me,
Do you love me?

If you do,
Then you’ll let me love her.

Because I don’t want to choose;
I don’t want to choose between her and you.

I want you,
I need you,
I love you.

But when you’re gone,
Who will want me,
And need me,
And love me?

She will,
I know that she will.

So don’t make me choose.
I don’t want to,
But I will.

If me loving her keeps you from loving me,
Maybe I don’t need you.

Because while I will always love you,
I don’t want your hate,
And I don’t need your disgust;
I don’t want your animosity,
And I don’t need your disapproval.

If you can’t look at me and her the same way you’d look at me and him,
I don’t need you in my life ruining the bond that we've come to build.

I love you,
I need you,
I want you.

But I love her,
I need her,
I want her.

So don’t make me choose.
I don’t want to,
But I will.

Dear Ernesto Hugo de Castro,
Keep breathing and keep thinking,
we'll remember that somewhere,
along the lines, you were there,
since you have something to gain.

I like reading your poems and poetry,
I also like that you express yourself clearly,
I also like that you know how life does hurts
and I like your ruthful and inspiring works.
I love knowing your writing and trueness,
I also love how reaching perfection you do,
and, last but not least, I also love you.

- Ludapoetry

Dear one,
As the domino, I fall cascading on the drawing board. Why would one deny progression? A furtherance , the ebb and flow. I remain up beat and spirited as I read your letters. It's like a barred barricade is being lifted.Your glowing light is charging me. Certainty is liberating, the riding of the waves have become a skill that I have engrossed. The tides spread from shore to shore and I must anchor. I am ever grateful for your deliberation in regard to my current affairs. Your magnanimity is greatly appreciated.

                                           As I am
Enormous, bountifulness of free spirit. Episodes of  taciturnity alternated by sequences of  thrill are remarkably felt. The higher level linking is simultaneous , coordinated and equidistant. As life propels, years progress a resemblance of energy is greatly congruent. The conforming compatibility of the absolute is evident. Transpiration of what once known yet unknown surfaces, erupts and consolidates a new meaning. A renewed existence, a recovered emergence solidifies. These moments are so evident, abundantly and vehemently felt on every fibre,bone and muscle of my being. Right to the core of my soul, my very existence.

On the tangent of thoughts........"J" the jewel... the forgotten treasure. What happened to the nature trueness that stroked your mind? The non win compromises aren't spontaneous. We must realign.... we must.

Vous êtes magnifiquement merveilleux et excellent en tous les moyens possible.
You sure do give me the butterflies......
You hold me in skies high above.
I can't control the butterflies.........
Is it just a flutter ?

To progress as you progress.....
SassyJ

Inspired by........
Natasha Bedingfield (Soulmate)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P27MPi3ZhCg

I don't own many dresses
or pairs of shoes
Just a few special dresses
that make me look pretty
and a pair or two, of shoes
sandals for summer
sneakers in Winter
ten times the amount
I could have spent
was spent on you

I troll around a second hand store
because I think I'm unique
because extra funds bring you hope
denying things are bleak

Food on the table
a roof over your head
the latest Xbox game
cable Internet
my birthday laptop
you're insulting me on
Foxtel
112 Channels
While you sit
under a feather blanket
as others in the world
have yet to be fed
Breakfast, Lunch or Dinner

What's that you said?

You don't care what I think?
I don't know what it's like?
I'm destroying  your sense
of adventure?

Why don't you twist the knife?

Disrespected for my opinion
when you're green as new grass
Freedom most certainly is a right
but as all rights, it is earned
don't take what is not asked

I lost a most precious gift
because I could not comprehend
the lessons I was trying to teach
were so hard to defend

I'm not asking you to obey me
because I absolute rule your domain
I'm begging you to heed my wisdom

I have a right to remain

The absolute authority
on Life, an expert on how it unfolds
My body agrees by the strecthmarks
it holds,
My heart agrees in its tightness
to the breath it exhales
My soul exalts in its freedom
to breath trueness to its tales

I'm not just wanting to be a parent
I'm wanting to be a voice
a monument to mistakes made
a whisper of choice
A landmark in uncertain territory
a safe haven in a storm

If you defy Wisdom
from absolute tragedy
I become a useless memory

and I'm nothing but a receptacle
for you teenage angst

I'm am nothing

I am the norm

when you realize you started from a seed.
a seed that was nurtured to grow.
grow up to be the prettiest
flower
tree
bush
shrub
then you will realize the trueness of being alive

you may have gotten stepped on
you may have gotten dirt kicked up in your eyes
but you became a shining flower
tree
bush
shrub.
you can do whatever you want.
but remember the reason you got dirt kicked on you?
because you were watching kids play in the back yard.
remember why you were picked?
a baby saw you for the first time.

Bad times turn into good memories
you wish you had back.
savor every opportunity.
never let it die like the flower
tree
bush
shrub

the prophet speak
you my people,
my flower of life
you have a voice.
stop the fighting
share the love of peace.
help the sick an poor.
as then prophet said
i hear cry in my,
endless dreams.
the prophet said.
be brave my flower
of life.
walk with trueness
peace in
your hearts.
pray  sick an poor.
ask are god for giveness.
pray for the world an
brother sister of this world.
share the love of peace.
stop the fighting.
help one another in this world.
walk peace in your hearts.
many blessing my brother my sister.
walk with peace
walk with true
share the love of peace.

true love is  golden,
a true heart is pure,
of endless love.
to walk with trueness
to bear one heart
an one  soul to love one
true.
is true magic of the  hearts
to share to care.
for special angel of life.
to bring the circle of life
to whole .an walk these
roads in life as one.
you truly are  my special
gift in life.
true love is golden
my love.

I find it funny that the first time we ever kissed,
your lips only barely brushed mine
like light wind upon sand,
moving my heart just a little bit, but not quite enough for me to kiss you back,

it was an agonizing craving 

because wanting to mimic your lips
with mine as badly as I did
had been quietly, yet evidently
suppressed with my palm
pressed up against your chest 

to push you away

maybe it’s not funny after all

but at the time, I wasn’t aware of what it would feel like 

to lose you

when your arms were gently wrapped around me under white fluffy blankets

and your whisper
sent me into
a lullaby of tranquility  
I was safe there, a lucky penny
put inside your pocket

I didn’t know, one day, I would let my head go

and kiss you back
until there were no more clothes or distractions,

the piercing judgments cloaked underneath our timeless innocence 
 


I didn’t know, one day, I’d be as loved as a flower is loved by the sun
and soil
and that my heart would make itself entirely available to be nurtured



I still find it funny the night we held hands 

all the way to the bus stop 

and skipped a little like children on their way to school in the summertime

when the bus pulled up, you kissed me but I didn’t place a palm
to push you away

this time,
regardless of how many passengers
would see us

underneath the moonlight 

it just felt right



and I find it really beautiful 

when you let me cry like a small child that had just lost both of her parents
in a car accident

my snot got all over your t-shirt and all you did was rub my back
and whisper

I love you, sweetie



I didn’t know, one day, when you called
to tell me 

those exact same words,

I would hang up on you

because being that loved would become as
terrifying
as letting go of sickness

I didn’t know, one day, I would welcome you into my heart with
tantric grace,
and another day, attack you with
my own self loathing, 

creating a moat around my trueness so you could never get in again

I think I mostly find our first kiss funny

because I knew you knew
I wanted to kiss you back

the entire time

but waited months instead  

and you were okay with that

I didn’t know, one day, missing you
would make my heart ache
like one million pins were stuck in it

I didn’t know, one day, I’d be as ready
as this
but it’d be too late

god created the sun
god created rain
rain and sun slept together
a rainbow evolved

every being has a double, somewhen
i'm half gipsy and jewish
bleedin' blueish
wise man told me lies about trueness

smell the fragrance of ghosts
relax, feel, love yourself
i will be praying for you
in rainbows

Sorry, I made you feel the way you feel. Sorry I caused your heart to
palpitate. Sorry I caused so much pain to you and all around you.
Sorry that I didn't believe. Sorry that I didn't let go of the past when I
should have. Sorry for turning my own back on myself. Sorry I was not
there, for your slanderous torment. Sorry I gave up when I should
have continued. Sorry I failed you but I will try harder in the next
moments to come. Sorry my tears roll down my cheek. Sorry that I
have pushed all away because I thought it would have been easier.
Sorry that I am not there to hold your hand in your darkest hour.
Sorry I closed my ears, opened my mouth. Sorry I walked away to
never turn back. Sorry I will never see another horizon through the
right perspective. Just plain old SORRY I EXIST...I need to go from
your wayside, let you be...become...believe in yourself. Taking one
step at a time, where every second counts, where every turn will be for
the better. Trust that you will make the right choice, if not try it again
this time around, achieve it better then the time before. Grab a hold of
yourself and pull yourself away from this inferno, enter the light. Let
yourself be great, stand tall. Stop slapping your own face around, look
into the mirror with smile filling cheeks. Fall down a lot, to get up and
do it all over again. Find your safe place; hold it dearly in your heart.
First and foremost believe in yourself, and never believe in the past
only the future is as wide open as you make it appear. So continue
punching holes in walls that get in your way, hurdle them obstacles.
So goodbye old friend, as I step aside to allow positivity to move in
where I've painted the walls with grayscale painstakingly nightmares.
It’s about time to open the lid on positive fortitude. Let old dogs lie,
while negative energy dissipates from my soul. Remember to trust the
trueness of positivity has to offer. God bless you, believe in you, and understand you!

I woke up
and found my friend far away
as I ponder what a friend is
and how soon can we all Skype
if it really matters
when you come to visit
will I have gone
swallowed your abandoned names and words
as you pull upon my own discarded pages
and we miss us
as we long to be each other
be ourselves in muscled trueness
Sure the other's place
will round our arms with the strength we lack
walking new streets
exercising our tongues on the ancient, baby green phrases
watch our skin contract
as we learn to deftly act
and somersault through agate hoops
mine for yours
yours for mine
we love to change traditions

the pull to your core riles my attention
the pull is dedicated, though not to you.
your core is what I'm after.
you represent an immature version
of us, I add in my growth and we
continue to develop.

though you are merely a fraction,
we are spread far. the pieces
rile my attention, create a tunnel
that emblazons my affection for myself.
for us all. in each meeting,
I am looking for you.
my thoughts are captured
in the essence of the trueness of everything,
the fragility, the permanence of nothing.
flowing in this interaction, the balance.

it seems life must be short.
my daughter calls me to live long,
I wake each day to embrace another chance
to sit in myself, in this body,
to witness this vantage point.
I get lonely in here, my tribe spread thin.
I know that the energy of
the spread of a galaxy realigns us constantly.
we create the things that communicate to
hear our own memories.
and I am just thankful,
all other emotions lacking substance.

Our bodies pressed together as we danced the invisible square in the middle of the school hallway. Moving from side to side as the piano's melody infiltrated our ears through the headphones. We swayed slowly, softly, keeping with the pace of slow-quick-quick that was required for the box step. Her arms were around my shoulders, my arms rested on her hips as we swung slowly, softly, going about the hall as if it were a grand ballroom and us its only occupants. I looked her in the eyes, the emotion on my sleeves that were hugging her hips. She looked back, smiling as if she were enjoying herself as much as I was. I couldn't help it, I had to whisper to her, had to break the trance the music had put on us, but had to in such a way that the moment would be filled with no regret, filled with the trueness I had kept in my heart.
"I love you." I say, smiling as if I had no clue of how ugly my smile were, smiling as if I were happy with more than just my grades. Her eyes glistened against the shine of the over-head lights. She smiled her beautiful smile and took me into a euphoria that was so blissful that I imagined I felt heat rising to my face in a blush.
"I love you too."
And with those words spoken, she leans closer, arms running down the broad of my back and hooking there as she lay her head on my chest and slowly rock with me, easing from left to right, slowly making our way in a giant circle in the middle of the hallway. I knew this was it, I knew this was what I had been looking for: a feeling of love to replace the feelings of longing in my heart, the feelings of lonely in my soul.
Left, right, left, right. We swayed in unison, her hips matching mine as our circle broadened with the music of the piano. I kissed her forehead, prompting her to look up at me as if we were sending mutual signals. I lean into her, hands lightly swishing her hips a little further, pushing against her own momentum, and kiss her tender lips like I had never kissed before. This was what her love had done, this is what my longing had done, we were one in the same in a world that only matched stride with cheetahs. We were the difference, we were the exception to the world as we softly went about the hall rocking and rocking, lips matching and not mismatching for long periods of time.
And then the bell rang, stating that it was time to go to class. But we paid it no attention, we stayed where we would remain for only mere seconds before the herd of students could overtake us. She drops the earbud and grabs my hand.
"Please, for me, remember this moment. Remember the moment when two unlikely souls set each other free, the moment when the heavens looked at the both of us with favor and brought us a match in emotion." tears escaped her eyes.
"though it may be my last time seeing you like this, I shall always be here in spirit," She continues, "but don't hasten to bid me farewell, love. Please, take the punishments of this tardy and stay and dance with me. Just sway." and with that, I continue our sway, placing my hands back on the sides of her hips as the students walk around us.
And we swish, hips moving as we make our own music with our foot-falls, matching a rhythm that we both find pleasurous. Rocking and rocking, swaying and swishing. I lean toward her once more, bidding her farewell with just one last kiss. Closing my eyes as our lips connect, right hand coming from her hip to stroke her cheek.
But when I open my eyes, she's no longer there. I'm alone in a hallway as my schoolmates pass around me, strange looks shown evident in each face that passes. The second bell rings and I open the door to class just in time, tears escaping as I look around the room at those who could never understand what I had felt.
A love that was lost isn't a blessing in comparison to the feeling of never being loved, in fact, it is a curse. So I have always remembered my beautiful hummingbird as she was, a free spirit and a free soul, but a part of me that I can never retrieve again.
Is brea liom tu, forever and always.

Mocking bird singing through my window
Pecking at the seeds of my sweet smelling flowers
Hopping up the vines of the wall, He hums my mistake again
Tranquil rest of the leaves is taken by the wind of His wings
His freeness is my cage
Never able to feel His beauty fully
Only an empty glimpse
One day, He says I will show you
And you will be amazed
Doubting He’s even really here
I continue existing until He comes again in a little way
And I pause to see His trueness

Eyes to the sky, as we look upon the doves
Soaring through the skies the lord has granted us
Passion grows deeply within our hearts
Sharing with one another the respect and honor
Each has come to deserve through years of camaraderie
Blessings arrive in the smallest of packages
Providing the biggest, warmest of decadent smiles
A spark of trueness lights the darkest of pathways
Triumph decorates our hearts with warmth for the coldest of days
As friendships grow over the years in perfect harmony
Collective souls share empathy, Collective spirits colliding
Only to create a perfect portrait like a Picasso or Rembrandt
Wisdom shared with one another, is like a red or white wine
Aged with such perfection, an everlasting taste of greatness
From the lips of the cherished onto the ears of the appreciative
I say these words that I may share with all to learn
The rose colored light you shed upon me in the darkest of hours
Will burn an everlasting flame of hope
Getting me through the toughest of times
Life is grand when sharing it with those who love and keep you near
So never trade it in for anything else my beloved friends

One mustn't take what is beautiful and pure
And taint it with ugliness profane
From tarnishing its beauty
Can one not refrain?

You would think the eyes would see
The trueness of its state
And not place blemish on it one
And all of its innocence berate

I suppose one must hold in mind
That each one of us is unique
In how we interpret what we find
And how to others it bespeaks