Death dropped by last night. I didn't expect him, but he was lonely and I was available.
What's up, I asked.
Same old shit, he said. You have no idea how hard this job is. Absolutely no one wants to see me. Ever.
Must be lonely.
Lonely, he said, you can't imagine. Most of them die as soon as they see me. Do you know hard that makes it to have a meaningful relationship? Or even get a date?
Oh, I can imagine.
Well, let me tell you; it's damned frustrating. Sometimes, I'd just like to cuddle, but I'm not into corpses. Yuck.
Death isn't much of a conversationalist. Mostly he just whines. It's all about him. He tends to ramble.
I just quietly let him talk.
Have to be going, he said finally. Must meet the soon to be dead. Rush, rush, rush... and Santa Claus thinks he has it bad. Thanks for listening. See you soon.
No hurry, I replied.
I swear his lipless face smiled as he turned and left.
It took awhile before I realized I had just been spared.
Sometimes, it pays to be a good listener.
Indeed, I love her!
But can't muster enough nerve
I had rehearse those lines
But as if someone tied my tongue
Afraid of venom of pain
Afraid to be stung
Better to hide it this way
Regret is more painful at the end
She was so alluring
A beauty that could only be mine in a dream
She was every of my fantasies
But how can I charm her
Everything about me was so simple
While she was extra-ordinary
I must act now...
Then I lied...
I told her I am a prince
That I owned the stars
But I saw her shaking her head
She was nothing compared the sun
She was nothing compared to the blue sky
I lost my self control
I began grasping her
Kissing her torridly
Even though a lot of people witnessed what I was doing
Little do I care
I want her badly, crazily...
And then laughter
Indeed people saw me grasping and kissing someone
Someone in their eyes...
Was only a tree...
written: July 4, 2014
it's chilly tonight
the kids are sleeping
I came home late from work
you questioned the hours
so I sit alone
outside, where I like to hide
you went to bed hours ago
alone in the space
where we divide
I'm going to come to you
after just one more drink
and a little pep talk to myself
I hope, I think,
you'll be asleep
and the awkward conversation
that's rotting on the beach
with each low tide
Is something we can
look forward to
when I've borrowed
some more pride
There's a place that I know and where I'll sometimes go
if I have any spare time to kill
where the dusty old clocks sound their ticks and their tocks
but where time long ago stood dead still
here the shadows suggest there's an unwelcome guest
in the ghost house I built in my mind
so I try to abstain from this space in my brain
where the pain is there for me to find
with its knocks on the walls and it's bangs from the halls
and the scratching of long finger nails
and the creak on the stair like its standing right there
and a wind vocalised by its wails
and there among its many doors down its darkest corridor
in a green mist of menace and gloom
is a door black as night with a latch that's held tight
to a long since abandoned damp room
and contained by its frame is the thing I won't name
within its walls patiently hiding
a malevolent thought I had once fought and caught
it's the room where my demon's residing
this loathe-some old fright locked up good and tight
with a nature that's shrouded in mystery
why I hold it secure I don't recall anymore
but I know it's best consigned to history
but it always gets found and I will hear the sound
of its voice coming though the keyhole
and I can't look and can't see what it wants to show me
that's how demons devour your soul
so I keep him enclosed to someday decompose
that monster who'd poison my thoughts
he might well just be small but I can clearly recall
all the heartache and havoc he wrought
last time I passed through filled the lock up with glue
to keep all access and egress restricted
and then I nailed it shut and I bricked right up
to forget that it ever existed
and I thought I had won when the battle was done
so I vowed to return there no more
but I was so keen to win I locked something else in
so at best I can call it a draw
something I can't replace so my return to that space
was a certainty right from the start
when it comes to that door I’ve made mistakes before
because that demon's locked in with my heart.
broken glass ,shattered dreams
scars we try to conceal....
lies masquerading as hopes..
a raging sea of torment .....endless storms within
one side of the mirror....me, myself , i in doubt.
on the other, the man i need to be.....screaming
a teardrop mask...... a reflection of who i am,
portrait of truth i cant accept.
who knows what the darkness hides.
words unsaid, a withdrawal..... do not second
guess......beneath lies a chained soul..only
love can break free.
broken glass......empty shells,whilst trying to pick
yourself...... they cut.......and you'll bleed across
broken glass will tell you lies,
bleed your soul and blind your eyes.
beware.....like a demon on the rise...
fought against the world, knowing how fragile
broken glass can be....as fragile as glass ...
that is me....
where do i go from here, what fate is drawing
near.....in the end......i am what i am..
broken glass of whats left of me
#broken #fear #dreams #torment #storms #fragile #fate
frustrations.....we all have em....when 3-fold applications of doubt surround my fate, words I've found they bring me peace and light.... the weight we carry lighten ...the cloud of gloom dissipated.
we all have weights......a cross to bear,
we all have our sorrows........while it varies in dimensions...the color of grief is common to us all.....
"Be still, my soul; Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain ...