used to think I couldn't go a day
without your smile
without telling you things
and hearing your voice back.
Then, that day arrived and it was so damn hard
but the next was harder.
I knew with a sinking feeling
it wasn't going to be okay for a very long time.
because losing someone isn't an occasion or an event.
It doesn't just happen once.
It happens over and over again.
I lose you every time I pick up your favorite coffee mug:
whenever that one song plays on the radio,
or when I discover your old t-shirt at the bottom of my laundry pile.
I lose you every time I think of kissing you,
holding you, or wanting you.
I go to bed at night and lose you,
when I wish I could tell you about my day.
And in the morning,
when I wake and reach for the empty space across the sheets,
I begin to lose you all over again.
I heard your fingers point at metaphors
that confused your mind.
I saw your comfort become woven
around the mask you wear,
when like you failed to find.
What if I told you of those hidden scars
those words could simply free?
Would you become a reflection
of the sun, or pretend
you don't hear me?
I don't want the power in love
I don't aim to be your master
Falling down all around
like so much well meant disaster
Oh, I never wanted a slave
I pursue a life less ruled
But if you walk without your chains
Perhaps we can make each other crazy
I'm just a human in need of suspense
no failures here, no dire need of gold
Just a falling down all around
a need for truth to be told.
Oh I'm no angel
nor aspiring demon
I'm just a human
in need of bein'.
If you walk, walk with me
I do not follow
but I will hold you
and drive you crazy
I pursue a life of me
where I want to go
and I don't want you to be
just someone to follow
I want a partner
I need a defender
and someone crazy
Someone crazy like
someone crazy about
someone I can be crazy
for and with and
These scars I wear each tell a tale
of moments I'll never forget
When loves spark, had once left it's mark
and the fates had called in their debt
Where I fell upon a bottle
cut my arm and nearly bled out
I hit my head, thought I was dead
learned something of what life's about
My legs torn by years of abuse
racing horses like all my kin
I'd go down hard, leaving them scarred
the limestone would tear off your skin
But these were offerings of note
in a life spent chasing ideals
Testing extremes, of my own dreams
run down more than once by the wheels
Son you can't live your life afraid
of each danger that comes your way
So play the odds, tempt the damn gods
rise up and face each new born day
When you are but old and feeble
with your grandchild upon your knee
Tell your stories, of life's glories
show him the scars so he can see
A life spent cowering from pain
will leave you so aching inside
The gift you'd miss, from life's sweet kiss
knowing you never even tried
© 2012 Tate Morgan
October 25, 2012
Sometimes my memories sneak out of my eyes
and roll down my cheeks
These prisoners always find a way to escape,
When tension reaches its peak
Off into the night
Where everything I invision becomes bleak
Sometimes my mind doesn't follow my footsteps
and leaves my heart hollow
These prisoners derive themselves out of feelings that were ever so potent
I realize what chances are overlooked when words remain unspoken .
in alabaster ears
words unforgiving, unforgiven
year after year after year.
Whispered secret secrets.
Laurel leaved lies of liars
traitorously spilling wine while
tear after tear after tear
shed and shredded truth
cut sharp with guile.
Cloaked smiles kissing
hands of befriended strangers
in strange lands lighting fires;
fire after fire after fire
burning hatred blind to danger.
Sentried angry glowers guarding towers
o'er ever changing landscapes of desire
hour after hour after hour.
Come little child, take to your lips
a bitter taste of this our power.
r ~ 4/24/14
Bloom and grow, pale rose so fair, and when the time has come
let loose gossamer failing petal, and pass the morning's song
unto the day's new gentle light, and into time of worth
bear fruit for the new peradyme,in glorious new birth!