yet here you are like Persephone
Aug 7      Aug 8

the night is long and passion short
you lift your breasts, nudge down your skirt

you take a drag and then a sip
the fire sizzles on your lips

in this dim dive, you are a queen
the worker drones all dizzy lean

a little closer to your stool
both the clumsy and the cool

but you remain aloof, high throned
in your far away abode

you rise and float across the room
at every pulse you pass, you doom

the weary to their drink and pain
how this night will repeat again

you smooth a dollar bill or two
select some songs, they're good ones too

all filled with pathos, rawness - strife
how you know these things of life

is beyond me - you linger there
before the jukebox staring unaware

of the eyes that fix their gaze
of the hope that you in worn hearts raise

but you walk back, sit down, and cross
your legs, long and full of gloss

order up another round, pull out
another smoke and light, I doubt

that such as you can ever be
anything to humanity

besides an archetype - a figure meant
to inspire longing and discontent

yet here you are like Persephone
your pale eyes glowing in dark company.

Persephone, originally a fertility goddess, was abducted by Hades, and as such became the reluctant goddess of the underworld.
#desire   #bar   #persephone  
Mar 21

i come from a long line of muses.
beauty contests won by bribery
and bravery. i was taught that the
way to a man’s heart is through
the fucking ribcage. there is no time
to play house. the daughter of dimitra,
i’ll take a pomegranate martini and
6 months in hell. you said you had a
nightmare that i would kill you in your
sleep. my darling, i only want to make
your dreams come true.

#love   #broken   #hope   #break   #feminism   #persephone   #hades  
olivia go
olivia go
May 16

Sunshine silently collects by the window
And trickles down the wall,
Tracing the old finger prints that belonged to a tiny set of hands.
The golden rays pour over my unkept sheets,
Expired thoughts,
And seep deeply in-between the tangles of my lashes.
Waking up to an empty bed has never been this warm.
So I slip out of bed
And back into myself,
And peer curiously at
The person staring straight at me.
Her eyes are familiar,
But her sadness is distant and uninspired.
Her hands seem too small and worn
For the things she's touched.
She stares at me longingly
As if she had finally been found
Underneath the pillows of too many weeks of sleep,
And tries to pull me under once again.
Her dark eyes desperately trying to reach me.
Her emptiness so enticing.
Over and over again
She offers me the world I once loved
And lost myself in-
Mornings of empty cereal bowls
And crumpled cigarette packets.
These white walls now danced with warmth and light,
And I look at her
And realize that I had an entire galaxy etched
Into the palms of my tiny, tiny hands all along.
I wave her good bye
As I collect the pooling warmth
And sunshine now spilling all over my wooden floor.
I stuff it so eagerly inside a jar tightly filled with train tickets
And coffee beans.

And I swallow.

I'm sorry.
I take her clothes that are now too big for me,
And bury myself
Inside the skeleton she constantly
Hid beneath.
I tie the last knot of her shoes
That are seemingly difficult to fill
And carefully walk out the door
And onto the side walk that
Her footprint never got to see.

The difference in perspective.
Feb 22, 2013

I want to leave this place and travel far, far away
I want to see places I've only ever seen in photographs
For the shortest of moments, I'd like to escape my life here, and be an anonymous person in a new foreign place
I'll go to the mountains and the forests, where the nature will completely surround me, letting myself forget all the problems back home that are too heavy for my heart to carry along
I'll go to the deserts and the beaches, where there will be hundreds of never ending miles for me to finally think straight
I'll stand underneath the cool, crisp, droplets of rain, letting all my stress melt into the grass at my feet

I want an adventure, I want fresh air, new souls to meet and love, new lessons to learn, and new places to see

Dec 15, 2013

I've gotten into the habit, lately
of making up my mind
I've gotten use to using
destructive ways to pass the time

Old habits are hard to break
better kill them while they're young

Yeah old habits die hard
Like a worm after the rain
After cars have run over him
Time and time again

I've gotten into the habit, lately
Of losing my fucking mind
And spending a few hours
Trying to make it right

And it's getting to the point where
the bad becomes the norm
So I just stare at my feet
And weep for the worm

I never lose faith in people,
even when I should
even though these broken records
serve frequently as proof

That old habits are hard to break
and broken records should be tossed away

For new tunes of song you've never heard
And a turn of phrase to string you along
the path of no return

Mar 1, 2013

You are like a star;
brilliant and bright,
and out of my reach.

Mar 5, 2013      Mar 6, 2013

the three of us got in your car
you let me sit shotgun
which made me sort of happy
though i can't really say why

you drove while we rode
and you didn't have your seat belt on
"it's stupid rebellious things like that,"
I had said,
"that will end up getting you pulled over"

you told me to shut up
or you'd make me get out of the car
and so i smirked
because only I could ever make
a reaction like that happen
so I simply said "No"

and this time you seemed to smirk
and so you continued
to argue with me
you tried to keep up
but my skill was superior
and I told you that myself

you ignored me
and we violently conversed
even when the car had stopped
it was time for us to get out,
and for him to stay
but my legs refused to move me

after you had left
I asked of my friend
"what just happened back there?"
and she smirked.

"Flirting, my dear," was all she had to say.

This is stupid, I know, but have you ever been in a situation where you're so inexplicably happy, and you don't even know exactly why, and completely unexpectedly, like it just hit you? This car ride was sort of something like that for me. :)
2 days ago

Face swelled with rejection
Wonder whether the path walked
was worth the stepping 
and stomped on me
and stomped on me
and stomped on me 
Tiny ants beneath the trees 

Gravel pathway, paves way graves
Of grief collected, modern day. 
Start to say a word or five,
confusion claims his ugly prize.
behooved are those who stand alone 
In spirit and in broken bones
A walking shadow, i reign on
and frown along
and frown along 
and frown along

Dec 21, 2013      Dec 22, 2013

Venus in Cancer
cheeks flushed in rouge
quiet behind the noise of your ruse

love draped in blue
keep me far from your waves
i pollute calm oceans on the clearest of days

Shameful am i
regret in my voice, with this
sharp tongue sealing the coffin that carried my choice

it wasn't you, then
at least, not as it seemed
I loved you too much to let you near me

we should try again
when we get out of our heads
that may never happen, so I'll pretend instead.

written about someone i (almost) love(d)

wrong place//wronger time...always in sync but out of rhythm
Mar 12, 2013

secrets, so many secrets
things you'll never guess
secrets so secret, I dare not confess.

secrets that pull me
far down to the ground,
secrets that take me
away to be drowned.

these secrets, so secret
are such a heavy burden
I'm choking, suffocating,
inside my custom prison

as much as I wish, these secrets
must never be spilled
or else how could I feel
anything but killed

how could I tell you
that I'm too afraid to eat
how can I tell you
when I can hardly speak

what will you think
when you know that I self harm
what will you do?
simply stare at my arms

I don't deserve your help, I confess
it is I and only I who is a part of this mess
go, you are free from troubles
enjoy now or it won't last
enjoy it now so in your future

... I was a bit nervous about publishing this poem to be honest... but in a way it felt like I was lifting a weight off my shoulders. Feel grateful in every passing moment and never take advantage of people and things around you <3 xoxo
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