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Amanda Dec 2021
A girl
A girl who needed help to learn how to handle her emotions
A girl who was told he was disrespectful when she expressed anger or sadness or fear
A girl who learned to shut up and cry alone
A girl who loved to dance on stage and look pretty and be happy so she stopped telling people when she wasn’t  

A teen
A teen who was angry about why she had to move to a new home and a new school
A teen who wanted to do good but also knew things weren’t right at home
A teen who couldn’t tell anyone how she felt because she was always wrong when she did
A teen who found a boy who had no problem telling her what to feel and how to think and what to do

A young woman
A young woman who listened to the boy and decided to grow with him under his direction
A young woman who tried her hardest to do the right thing but knew something was wrong and she needed to make a change
A young woman who was offered a bottle, a line, a pill, and felt better for a while
A young woman who saw death stare at her in the face when his hands were around her neck
A young woman who decided to make a change
A young woman who left it all behind

A woman
A woman who was lost and scared and alone for a long time
A woman who made new friends little by little
A woman who rebuilt her life little by little
A woman who now has a career, a stable life, and a good man
A woman who can see a healthy future ahead
A woman who is still working on feeling safe when she is vulnerable
A woman who is a work in a progress
Amanda Dec 2019
Since I didn’t get you a Christmas card
And you said I haven’t wrote you a poem in a while
I decided to put a little something together
And I hope it makes you smile

This time of the year is all about happiness and cheer
It’s about family, friends, and being for grateful for what you hold deer

Which is why l am so blessed to be able to celebrate our life together
I am so grateful that we make it a point to appreciate the outdoors in every type of weather

I am so grateful that with you I can be myself with all my different moods
I am grateful that even if you don’t know what to do, you usually try to cheer me up with your awesome dance moves

I am grateful that I end each of my days with your snuggly snugs
And that you were considerate enough to get me some custom ear plugs

I appreciate that I have you by side for all of life’s ups and downs
Especially since I know that sometimes I am not the easiest person to be around

I love that we have already named our future cat
And that we both get happy when we listen to purple hat

Thank you Teddy for everything that you do
And I promise I will continue to work on being the best version of myself for you

When I think about us, I am so proud of how we’ve grown
And I can’t wait to experience the future with all of its unknowns

I can’t wait until we move into our home with style
And for the day when we get to walk down the aisle

I can’t wait for putting the kids to bed
And ending the night with a beer and a glass of red

I can’t wait to continue to grow and adventure with you
I can’t wait to accomplish our goals as individuals and also as a pair of two

So with all that being said I love you with all my heart
And I look forward to many more date nights ending with you losing at darts

So I want to suggest that we raise our glasses and cheer
To adventure, to us, to love, to growth, to the future, and to the New Year
Amanda Dec 2018
Could it be...
Me who decided to make a change?
Me who knew nothing would ever be the same?
Me who set goals and accomplished them?
Me who can finally say I forgive him?
Me who put the pieces back together?
Me who sees you and feels forever?
Me who continues to grow?
Me who finally allows emotions to show?
Me who now smiles at the person in the mirror?
Me who knows life couldn’t be any clearer?
Me who makes a difference each and everyday?
Me who overcame all the obstacles along the way?
Amanda Jul 2018
I just want to be happy
I want to live free
I want someone to cherish me

Always asking what everyone needs
When the real question is
What about me?

What do I want?
What do I need?
Who will be the one to make me a priority?
Amanda May 2018
...
... And there it was again
Staring us in the face
And what did we do
Ignored it

Acknowledgement can be too ambiguous
In what it could change
In what it could end

But tomorrow looks much safer
A lot like yesterday
So let’s just forget today
Amanda Feb 2018
The truth can be a double edged sword
Your truth
Our truth
It tore a hole
A hole so deep I’m perpetually falling

Grasping for anything to help
To save
To stop
To change the direction
But instead I fall deeper

To a place so full of doubt
Of confusion
Of sadness
Of wishing things were different
But I’m falling with this truth

And it’s surrounding me
Like the wind
Like the sun
Like the ground that never seems to come
Falling, falling, falling

They say lying is shallow
Is wrong  
Is cruel
Is evil
But I would’ve liked that more
Because shallow is safer than a hole so deep
Amanda Feb 2018
Inhale 1, 2, 3, 4
What the **** am I doing?
Hold 1, 2, 3, 4
Why do I stay?
Exhale 1, 2, 3, 4
Maybe I’m being overdramatic?
Nothing 1, 2, 3, 4
Nothing
Repeat
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