S castle: Favorites

Jun 2015 S castle

Tark Wain

Stop it.

Just stop it.

Stop it with your philosophy.
Your answers
your higher meanings.
Just stop it.

All you talk about is Socrates
you praise his ideology.
Place him on a pedestal of greatness
a shining example of a life lived right.

Where was that ideology
when he hung from the gallows.
What good are one's thoughts
when one's neck fails to connect with itself?

What say you?
Plato is no better.
nonono he is not
the man tasked with carrying on his mentors ideals.
This genius
this beacon of hope.
Spent over 10 pages of his book
explaining why older men should not have *** with younger boys
as if he was trying to convince himself.

Not the reader.

Just stop with it all.

I am not struggling to find myself
I am struggling to find rent money.
My problems are not in my head.
They are in my bank account.

You pine over a greater purpose
like it's some piece of salvation.
You talk of the high pleasures.
You tell me that I have more to gain from sitting and watching an opera
than from ******* a *****.
I don't want to discuss semantics
but I'll talk logistics.
I'll take the latter
not because I love ******
but because I hate the opera.

Pleasure cannot be defined or quantified
My pleasure is solely to see tomorrow.
Something I'm not too confident in right now.
Philosophy is the activity of the man with free time.
But time is not free.
It is expensive and costly.
Those with time don't understand.
Those without it understand it too well.

Love is not my end goal.
A family is not my dream.
A house on a hill would be nice.
But only because of the house.

Not the hill.

So spare me.

Please.

When you tell me about the wonders of the world.
Realize all I have seen lately are alleyways.
Don't tell me about different cuisines.
When I can only afford the dollar menu.
Don't tell me I can be anything I want
when I can't seem to be able to be anything I need.

Life is not limitless.
The soul is not infinite.
Everything has an expiration date.

I just hope mine isn't tomorrow.

Jun 2015 S castle

Taboo thoughts

Jun 2015 S castle

Egressx

Taboo thoughts

You get these thoughts.
Dangerous thoughts.
Thoughts you should not think about.
Thoughts you should not dare to think about.

It happens when
You are in an empty room
With your baby cousin,
Your little sister,
Little brother,
Or the child of your mother’s best friend.

These thoughts are too strong
That you cannot stop thinking,
And thinking
To the point that makes you sick.

It is sickening.

It happens when
You are both alone.
Her soft skin brushes against your arm.
She asks you questions with those
Black eyes.

Clueless,
Innocent.

You know she trusts you.
Looking at her perfect skin,
Flick of jealousy fills your gut.
You wonder what will happen to her,
One she loses
The light in her eyes.

But remember, child. No one must know about this.
Keep them locked.
Deep inside your mind.
Don’t you dare let anyone see.

You need to realize
That these thoughts must be kept
Yours.
Yours and yours only.

And you must remember
To never,
Ever take an advantage of a child.
For she and he remembers.

A child remembers.

You remember,
Don’t you?

#broken #girl #abuse #lust #memories #thoughts #you #sick #**** #taboo

Jun 2015 S castle

My Father

Jun 2015 S castle

Egressx

My Father

My father
Was a violent person
Hot tempered, serious, tense.
Always, always tense.

I tried to deny it
But deep inside
I feared him.

Whenever I sensed a sudden change in his eyes,
A sudden flicker of anger on his face,
And even a sudden thickness in the air,
The fear kept creeping back

It was not the alcohol
That turned him into a monster.
Just how, in the right mind of a person,
Punch his wife,
Tear her hairs out of her scalp
And leave her body with bruises?

Just how, in the right mind of a person
Abuse his wife in front of his daughter,
Nonetheless of her daughter’s presence?

He’d hurt me too sometimes
When I tried to intervene,
To save my weak mother away from his grip.

He never apologized.
Not even once.

#fear #pain #sadness #empty #hurt #suicidal #remorse #violence #disgust #domestic

Mar 2015 S castle

I Burn, You Burn, Baby.

Mar 2015 S castle

JSL

I Burn, You Burn, Baby.

Give me that burning flame,
give me a scar to proudly claim.
And if I'm to burn to your name,
I'll make sure you'll feel the same.

Cody. You're not the only storm around here babe.

#love #depression #fire #gay #boy #storm #burn #name #scar #flame

Mar 2015 S castle

Dangling

Mar 2015 S castle

Arlo Disarray

Dangling

I've been hanging by a thread
     Just d
                a
                  n
                   g
                     l
                       i
                        n
                          g
               in the    w  i  n  d
         Endlessly tossed around
                        T
                     w
                        i
                     s
                       t
                    e
                      d

                again and again

      There's no one to let me down
              So I'll just have to

                          d

                          r

                          o

                          p

           And when I hit the ground
                It will all finally

                           stop.

         You're there holding my hand
            Before letting me fall
         Until you don't understand
          Why you're with me at all

            So you look in my eyes
         As you finally let go of me
         And you whisper goodbye
           as you set my hand free

            The last thing I hear
         Is the sound of your cries
         I'm hit with your last tear
          Right before I finally die

#love #heartbreak #sad #life #pain #death #relationship #breakup

Mar 2015 S castle

**

Mar 2015 S castle

Virginia S

**

I'm tired of dreaming at night.
I want to live the dream.

#dreams

Mar 2015 S castle

Born with Horns

Mar 2015 S castle

Joe Bradley

Born with Horns

Nestled
in a gyroscope
of allotment, haybail and heath
is the scenery of
my solemn country.
The skyrise, hollows. the
dripping
fat of the land.

The cities have boomed
and they're beautiful.
Like open roses they're
garlands of wire,
pylons and street-lights.
A thorny crown
on a girl in a nightclub. They're
blistering
they drink, kiss and drink.

And all the while
we live with whispers
splashed like
blood in a gutter.
As murmurs
pumped
through the strip-lit veins
of an office block.
Its a life where
prayers
are mist on train windows.

When we walk
we check our
reflection in car windows
and we're beautiful
we run
our hands
through our hair
knowing
we were babies born with
horns for this.

When we ride
its over
railroad boneyards,
the sleepers are
metal teeth locked in
asymmetrical laughter
at everything
at everyone
at nothing.

The skies are a
psychosis of sunlight, clouds,
vapour trails,
it's heaven
and
we're bent at the alter,
our shadow on
the crypt
has horns.

#city #cities #horns

— The End —