In an empty ballet room, I grasped a blue spellbook with unknown proximity. Its enthralling sensation made me realized that I truly never mastered the ability to feel withdrawn. There are certain things in life that I cannot look away from—such as enticing gestures, delicate scenery and a glass full of wine. I am who I am and none of the people I have met or I will meet can change that.

I had this clarity that I have to feel big, even in small spaces and that I don't have to feel small in crowded places. Although I sing a different song when I am alone—fearful yet incandescent, and sometimes menacing, at least for me—my own colors can be atrocious, and yes, I love it.

how lovely it is—

sashay is acceptable and conscience is brutal
some cannot feel it, some cannot see it and some think it is futile
permissible, yes, but if one does not contain such thing
you must never trust them that much, for you can never win

I want to want affection, I must never attach nor kiss
My hands found the greatest tale, should I dismiss?
All I wear is darkness; nevertheless, the story remains
How it keeps me pure and consumed, I can never explain

By default, I feed my hungry eyes with our vices
I can never cast away the madness; you are the nicest
I questioned myself for doubting the unrevealed
It hurts to be awake for it has always been real

You are so serene, how could I ever forget?
I convinced myself to turn away and it made me upset
My team, we know we will always go to extreme
After all, what is hope without its dream?

i feel scared.
i don't know why.