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 Apr 2015 Dánï
argus
I have nothing to say.

Do I have nothing to say?
An empty 1% Lowfat milk carton on the floor says otherwise, and a woman screaming to be understood; for her self proclaimed misery to be reconciled by any other but herself, says otherwise to that otherwise.

I am not sure which side I should take.
Regardless, the heartless engine upon my ear is ready to evolve;
to explode with purpose beyond that of its original design.
"I am not ready to die." I say.
But what knows all knows we are always ready.

Ready to die, to brace the screaming self righteous;
the story writers who readily cast you as the enemy
because the idea of fighting with their selves scares them shitless.
 Apr 2015 Dánï
argus
and what shall tomorrow bring me?
is such a question truly valid?
should I seek instead to ask:
what unto tomorrow shall I bring?

deciding which question is more fitting is deciding whether to play victim or the foil to such.
 Apr 2015 Dánï
argus
no steps
 Apr 2015 Dánï
argus
the objects in my eyes dissolve
unto an unending sea
that no one admits having ever seen.

i do not know where to turn from here

for i am forever changed, and choosing to step back from this is still choosing to respond to this.
 Apr 2015 Dánï
argus
dance alone
 Apr 2015 Dánï
argus
Tonight I dance alone, in my red robe.
Alone, with what I have come to let haunt my mind.
The temple of solitude is breached.
If I am the Soliloquist,
I have too many voices within me to be heard.
If I am the Sciamachist,
I have too many enemies to hope to win.

Tonight I dance alone, because pleasure eludes my mind.
Alone, excommunicated and,
in some sense,
left behind.
 Apr 2015 Dánï
argus
Our rope is worn,
and soon we will each be left alone;
only ghosts of what we had once been.

Perhaps it was my pride and your
inability to communicate anything
beyond the objective that stifled
our flame and brought end to our name;

Perhaps we are both to blame.
Lately, I've had this sensation of losing touch with my body. I feel disconnected and estranged from it, more and more frequently. The face that looks me back in the mirror is always alarming.
 Apr 2015 Dánï
argus
Hysteria
 Apr 2015 Dánï
argus
There are too many themes running through my head. My thoughts are running away when I tell them "I want to know you". Perhaps I am running. God, I talk weird. Do I really think this way? Do I speak this way? I FEEL LIKE A WISP. AM I REALLY HERE?

There is indiscriminate chatter on the subject of Burger King, happening below me.

And I am alive to the memories I put away, the ones I forgot to hang up in the windows of my mind.

Alive for only a moment, though.
 Apr 2015 Dánï
argus
I have taken years of my life, trying to figure out what I have to say.

I haven't much more to say about my life other than that.
 Apr 2015 Dánï
argus
strange
 Apr 2015 Dánï
argus
It is strange, and so so far from my understanding:
that still I should want to bury my
face within your ***** (and yours alone at that),
when still your hand holds tight to the knife so gracefully lodged within my abdomen.

For it was by you that I learned there is somewhere I may rest my head when I find it too heavy with sorrow,
and yet, it was also you that brought me the greatest sorrow; the only sorrow I have felt was too great for me to bear alone, and in it, bid me the quickest farewell.
Never, before now, have I found myself in need of somewhere to lay my head, nor someone to hold tight to and to be held tight by.

And I know, it was not your intention to bring about pain,
rather it was solely in hope of ending such that you carried this out.
But it seems that what you left below my chest was laden with what before ate at your heart, and I see no other fate before me than to suffer what you suffered; you have given me your ill, in hopes of once more finding health.

And it is strange, that despite the violent shaking in my hands, I harbor nothing in me other than the wish that wellness again should find you.
 Apr 2015 Dánï
argus
sure
 Apr 2015 Dánï
argus
I am a shoe wearing a horse
Let me kiss your elbow
it’ll only hurt for a year and seven days.
When I breathe I’m alive
Again and again,
But I’m not living
Days pass by and I show all the signs
No one seems to notice
I hide in the darkest part of my mind
Where my demons tell me the things
That nearly convince me to throw everything away
There’s one voice though,
That’s not a demon.
That’s why I’m still here today.
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