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Feb 2019 · 78
Clipped Wings
Dánï Feb 2019
Depression isn’t just having bad days, it’s having good days with a bad state of mind.
It’s having days where you seek and seek but you cannot find.

It’s wilted flowers and bright sunshine,
It’s a straight path with jagged lines.

It’s a turn signal that has 3 lefts and 2 rights.
It’s seeing a bird with clipped wings in flight.

It’s confusion when there should be clarity,
It’s the betrayal you feel when everyone seems to lack sincerity.

It’s a smile that reaches all places but the heart,
It’s knowing where you want to finish but not knowing where to start.
Nov 2018 · 62
How Much
Dánï Nov 2018
i can't shake this weight off,
i can’t take this heavy load.
i can’t breathe, i feel lost.
i can’t do this alone.

i take two steps forward,
and twenty back.
i'm stuck in this corner,
and the walls are closing in fast.

how much longer until i learn to keep people around?
how much longer until someone notices?
how much longer until i give out?
how much longer until my family is getting condolences?
Apr 2015 · 322
The Road
Dánï Apr 2015
The road is long, rough, tough and winding, it needs a pair of strong and stable feet,
And though I despise anything man-made, I might need and have to learn to accept an automobile to help set me free.
This road is forever engraved in my mind. It just lingers, sort of like fog and I am stuck with this altered and tainted view for the rest of my life. Seems like there's no other way.
It's the road I always go back to, and sometimes the fog clears up, it clears up for seasons time, but it comes back, *always and all day.
-d.***
Feb 2015 · 387
Xilan
Dánï Feb 2015
I'm trying to calculate how much I don't need you,
But I keep coming up with zero..
I'm trying to not want you,
But you've invaded and stuck to my necessities like crazy glue and I am crazy for you.
With you I'm a blue, a red, sometimes a lilac, too.

All the colors in the world, even the ones we haven't thought of,
All the droplets in the world no amount of Suns can dry up,
All the words I haven't wrote,
All the lines you have yet to quote,
All the shapes in the world we haven't sketched,
All the places that have yet to be felt,
All the sounds in the world you haven't emitted,
All the dreams we haven't dreamt-
Don't amount to what we are,
And though I ask that, I already know and am left in aw..
I don't mind the scar that is going to be left whether you stay or not,
These cheeks have been wet and with you it could be of happiness or of being forgot.


We both know I don't know what love is, you know I don't like that word and I don't know if I'm feeling it,
But it is what it is and it's far too late to quit this.
I'm sorry I'm not perfect,
And though this is said often I mean it.
I'll be everything you want me to be, (I rarely ask for anything) but please just teach me how-
Scratch that, all I ask for is patience,
Lead any way, babe, no doubt I'll always be down.

I want to help you grow and vice versa,
This us is timeless, baby, no circa.
-d.***
Jan 2015 · 497
deflowered
Dánï Jan 2015
do not stand on unstable ground,
do not lean against a crumbling wall.
do not so much as look at a petal-less flower,
no, do not depend on me at all.
-d.***
Dánï Jan 2015
To move things you have to have emotional muscle. You can't ask someone to love you and they don't have the emotional muscle to pick up your love.
Dr. Llaila Afrika
Jan 2015 · 589
Dead End
Dánï Jan 2015
Don’t** run along the bend,
Go down the road you cannot mend.
Don’t stop until you see the river form,
It's a sight that's sure to make you quiver even more.
-d.***
Dec 2014 · 362
Contradictions
Dánï Dec 2014
Feeling a heart (break) I don't have,
I'm soft skinned yet thick skinned, don't let it confuse you.
Emotionless, careless but extremely pensive,
I've encountered all shades of blue.

I'm a strong non-believer of chance,
I've had countless of calculated mishaps,
Wish I had my memory on infinite photographs,
Could've evaded so much nerve damage, perhaps.

Numb and restless,
My body is filled with a void.
The emptiness is something I detest,
Along with being toyed.

I thought my non-existent emotions couldn't be voiced,
It's been the cause of why so many opportunities have been soiled.
So many moments unexpressed,
So many feelings repressed.

I don't believe pure happiness exists in this life,
But I've been content lately.
Oh how many conversations went on in strife,
because I was too confused on how to accept my reality.

How many times I fought for love I didn't believe in,
how many times I pushed out a hate I didn't have within.
Believe in the good and the bad, too.
Believe in monogamy and one meant for two and-

Vice versa.
I believe in opposites and in similarities,
I believe in exacts and uncertainties.
I believe in the truth being a lie,
I believe in hello's but am more prone to goodbye's.

It's not my fault I have a big heart but am heartless,
It's not how I intended to be,
I have an immense amount of regrets,
All of them made of satisfactions I wasn't able to see.
-d.***
Dec 2014 · 485
Young with Old Thoughts
Dánï Dec 2014
I feel like I'm always going to be alone, mentally and physically.
But then I get to thinking and realize I'm so young, yes I feel old but I'm so very young. Someone/something might come into my life that'll fill that void tomorrow, next year or in a decade. We're alone for a reason, to better ourselves, to have to do so because going into anything incomplete will never leave you whole. You need to be whole to be able to share a part of yourself because everything takes something from you and when you're at pieces you can't afford that to happen, you don't have enough to let that happen.
Everything has a process, some longer than others. Some of us are complex broken glass and some of us are just a simple incomplete puzzles.
Regardless, we'll find the pieces, we'll take as much time as we need because patience is a virtue we can't live without. Being realistic is another crucial one. We need good balance because the wrong type of balance has a tiring and heavy weight that'll only crush you into more pieces.
We don't have control over anything but ourselves, and even thought it might not seem like it, it's up to us to decide how we complete ourselves.
Of course being whole isn't something we know or know how to acquire, especially if we've never been but once you're there, and you can only get there with the right steps, you'll know. I'm far from it, I know it'll take years and years for me to feel whole, but I'm good with incomplete, I've learned to accept it, and that helps. I don't believe in luck or chance, I know whatever is meant for me won't miss me and whatever isn't won't ever hit me.
Be accepting, balanced, realistic and patient.
-d.***
Dec 2014 · 1.2k
High Lows and Low Highs
Dánï Dec 2014
Too much of everything is sometimes just that- too much.
When you're at your lowest you get closer to the high yet think you'll never be high again.
And when you're at your highest sometimes the air gets thick and no breath is let in.

The lows are so painful, so dark and so fearing. You see no way out and your open sky develops a ceiling. You're surrounded by smooth walls, no place to help you grip your way up,
and when the top seems too far you start to look at things through a half empty cup.

The cup being smudged with finger print stains doesn't help, you see all your efforts gone to waste and lose faith in yourself. The water at the bottom blows everything out of proportion, and your failures are brought to sight in a new light, your hopes and dreams start to seem foreign. We think the world is cruel and whoever allowed it is, too. Why are things the way they are, why do we deserve such horrible things, why can we be scarred? Why aren't things perfect, I'd be so happy if things were perfect, if I didn't care about anything and no harm was felt. If no one was possessed by something so evil, if mutual respect was a given and acceptance was pressed. If only there was no one to be against or no one against us, no one to feel threatened by or depressed. If all things good were mandatory, obligatory and all things bad were kept in fictional stories. Horrors and terrors was only experienced in movies while bliss and happiness was all that was permitted.
But on the ground you feel close to what's high, so close yet at the same time so far. One feeling helps supply our faith and the other nullifies it. It's a turmoil we need to purify and the thought of the high gives of hope of it being beautified.

There are two sides to everything

Being high is the best and when we are we feel so passed blessed, we feel chosen. we feel we have a message to profess and manifest, it's a feeling that cannot be ever suppressed nor fully expressed. We're at our peak and no thing seams bleak. We might weep but it's out of happiness, and we might feel stressed to get rid of anything we detest, no matter how little.

We find the urge to get rid of all things that have or could bent and dent us. All things that have sent us to the depths we were at once..
When we're high sometimes we feel a superiority, we feel the need to direct whatever happens next. The feel to control is what needs to be assessed and corrected, it needs to be addressed and made ***** before it's possessed and infected with something not able to be mended. We start to get seemingly positive outcomes by using negatives, and that wasn't what was meant.. We get too high and don't notice how wet the ground is, and in our state of mind it's easy to slip and get wrecked. We get too high to remember what it's like down when we were swept off our feet and made to kneel. We get high enough to scoff at the fuss and to dismiss the idea to discuss our situation, our foreseeable yet unfathomable stump. We're too high to think we can be stumped, and when it happens to us we'll feel as if thought it has been dumped on us. We'll cry saying it isn't fair and though things might seem beyond repair we'll say we don't have a care because we still have that residue high, we still have that feeling of superiority and think nothing can go wrong anymore. The high helps yet it is suffocating, it can be put up to debate but the truth is we can't await for history to repeat itself. We can't let people imitate the wrong we need to educate and indicate them to where the facts have proven to be right. No need to obligate- a sound mind will always correlate and initiate collaboration.

We need balance and we need guidance, we need help and we need to learn how to seek it. Sometimes we'll find it in things we can and can't see, regardless, by doing so we might finally find inner and outer peace.
-d.***
Dec 2014 · 275
Learning How to Want
Dánï Dec 2014
I have to learn how to do what I want, how to not care about the careless.
How to not pity the ones that destroy homes and make the least seem best.
How they ruin a world you thought was yours, a world you thought you had conquered but since then has been torched.
How they turn life into a cold, dark, bitter thing, a thing you think you can throw away with no consequence.
How can they turn something so grand into something so ominous?

How can I care about something that does more harm than good?
I want to learn how to spoil myself with soul food.
I want to be good, do good and spread the good,
I want to help the poor evil become someone congenial.
I want to do unto others what I want to to be done unto myself.
I want to be rich with an untouchable and unseeable wealth.
-d.***
Dec 2014 · 379
Chemical Signature
Dánï Dec 2014
I heard overtime our body disposes of cells and develops new ones, how sublime.
My body last year isn't what it is now, and certainly not what it was when I was nine.
I guess scientifically you've never touched me.
You've never gripped my face in between your forefinger and thumb, never put your mouth, your thin upper lip and full bottom lip on my tightly closed one.
Apparently I was never forced to see.

See, I was too numb, too motionless to fight back and eventually turned emotionless.
Cause and affect

Never felt you push yourself on me or you openly inviting my hand to explore.
Never felt the dread I felt when you told me I was adored.
Never grazed my ear with your fingers as you pushed my hair back, telling me I was beautiful no matter how hard I tried not be, that in a sea full of girls there was no one else like me.
That out of all of them I was different, I was special, I couldn't be cloned.
I had a heart made of gold that wouldn't hurt anyone even if told.
I never had to feel your breath on my cheek or neck as you asked if I loved you, as you asked if I was alright. That if something was wrong I could go to you with no hesitation and like always you pried and I lied.

Maybe that's why I never believe anyone that has a mouth or fingers or eyes, just like you did, just like yours. I don't trust anyone that can form beautiful words, can't let them have the ability to make them retch worthy, too much at stake to let another one of your kind hurt me.
Cause and affect

I never felt a maleficent, fine blade on my own skin, slicing away the words I could never begin.
I never felt hot tears on my chin, dripping down into the deep pool made of a deep red. Making a color I'll never forget, nor perfect ever again.

I love that a part of me will forever be on that tile, on that floor. Because the whole of me has been long gone, just like my (hopefully soon) soul.

Yet, I'm still her, and she'll forever be me, that poor little nine year old girl that had to endure it all until she was pubescent, and then as if that wasn't enough, sickly got tortured and scarred some more while growing into a poor excuse of an adolescent- a traumitized, terrorized *adolescent.
-d.***
Jul 2014 · 269
Setting's Wrong
Dánï Jul 2014
Keep me in mind while you lose your mind,
Remember before I forget.
Take me anywhere except for granted,
Another you isn't hard to get.

Trust your instinct,
Don't let your pride get in the way.
Your toys will come and go
But I'm here to stay.

I'm not easy to comprehend,
I'm even harder to love,
But if you teach and show me how,
I'll be more than enough.

What you're close to throwing away,
Others are waiting to have.
I'm not cocky but I'm just saying.
They're hoping you mess up, they don't want us to last.

Think of how I make you feel,
How my voice soothes your aches.
And how anything I do,
Is all for your benefit.

Our minds and bodies were made for each other,
It's just my time and your place that's the bother.
-d.***
Jul 2014 · 400
Bitter Fool
Dánï Jul 2014
You deserve the world on a broken platter,
You deserve to be fed with a wooden spoon.
I'm not at all bitter,
I just don't coincide with being played for a fool.
-d.***
Jul 2014 · 401
Since Your Absence
Dánï Jul 2014
I've started drinking just to lose coherence.

I've started holding back because without you there's no ******.

I've started smoking just to make sure I'm actually breathing once it becomes increasingly difficult.

I've started popping pills just to numb the feel of my barely there pulse.

I've started gulping down red bull just so when my heart hurts I'm able to find it.

I've started building walls just to replace the bridges once built.

I've continued to scar myself just to make sure I still feel.

I deemed it all fit since your absence, the only things that're real.
Jul 2014 · 385
Haze
Dánï Jul 2014
What are you doing in your life,
Besides what you think is right?
Going under with the main stream downtown,
Forgetting you could be glowing and you can't drown.

Your mind is bigger than your years,
Broader than the galaxies.
And with ease you surpass all of your peers,
Despite the many different mentalities.

Don't limit yourself to an island,
Go to 196 countries.
Let your horizon widen,
You have that potent will, guaranteed.

The smoke,
That you claim clears up your mind,
Clouds your vision and makes your goals broke,
Forcing you to think you properly invested your time.

You have a unique rhythm, no question,
You're not ordinary, you're much more.
I know you're not the same, this is just a phase.
Close the pages and open some doors.

See what's real, set yourself on it- it's all achievable when you clear up the
*haze.
Jun 2014 · 343
Life on the Floor
Dánï Jun 2014
Out of all the things I've said and done,

The scars on my arm are the deepest ones.

I'm pouring out the sorrow,

And letting the grief run.

But, some day it will flow no more,

And like a druggie on an overdose,

I'll be half sitting, half laying with a deadly weapon in one hand,

And my life on the floor-

My time oozing to a stand.
Jun 2014 · 234
Laughing
Dánï Jun 2014
Can't help but laugh at some people,
Their speech goes a little like this;
I won't leave you,
You're the one, I would never dream of saying goodbye.
I'll love you forever, please believe me, I speak no lie.


The funny thing is I have no doubt,
I don't doubt it one bit.
That's not my worst nightmare, that's not what it's about.
See, I can control gaining feelings, but I can't control losing them, a transition so quick
It gave me whip lash,
And just like when you're about to die,
Our memories flash
Right before my eyes, away they dive
Out of my reach,
Out of my heart,
The strong suction they had no longer like a leach-
*One brand new grand scar.
-d.***
Jun 2014 · 613
Wanting Needs
Dánï Jun 2014
I need to make changes for the better,
I need to get out from under this stormy weather.
Given, I love the rain and thunder,
But, sometimes too much is enough and I need to take cover.

I need to go away- with the option of return, though..
I need time to mend these jagged edges and end these sorrows.
I might hurt some, this process will be painful and slow,
I know my heart will ache and wither, but at the same time it'll grow.

I need to be forgiven,
I need to make amends.
Fix these broken bridges with the pillars I've dreamt,
Tear down these walls and pave open roads with resilient cement.

I need and want many things,
I've been left with a feeble and fragile whim.
I need a couple endings to signal new beginnings.
But, most of all, I needingly want to feel whole again.
-d.***
Jun 2014 · 2.5k
Black Smoke
Dánï Jun 2014
Although I missed you, I didn't miss the yells
And all the times you made me feel unwell;
Whether it was physical or emotional,
Your love was harsh and you made it seem personal.

Your huge hands to hold me, you used to hurt me.
Your warm smile you used to spit fire.
Those hazel eyes were made to captivate me,
And they did just that, in a prison cell was where I resided, forcefully.
Your loud, beautiful laugh was used mockingly,
And the way your words flowed showed me who I was, accidentally.
Your big, warm heart was charred- it beat quietly,
and you passed on the black smoke, unintentionally.
It filled up my mind, my lungs,
And with every breath I took I became even more numb.


Maybe this is why I look for you in every man,
It's all I've ever known.
And although it wasn't the most ideal plan,
Black was the only color I was ever shown.
-d.***
Jun 2014 · 456
Closure
Dánï Jun 2014
I want to cut.

I want to cut through all the saddness and lies,
I want to end this anger and these teary eyes.

I want to cut my broken self even more,
I want to become a piling mishap on the floor.

I want to cut away the negativity- the rotten limbs.
I want to remove the excess burden that has grown on me and has left me on a pathetic whim.

I want to cut my feelings off, indefinitely.
I want to end my emotions once and for all, deliberately.
-d.***
May 2014 · 395
Blind Leading The Blind
Dánï May 2014
They come and they take you out,
They show you love and what it's seemingly all about.

It's what you've been looking *for,

Your shattered heart is picked up from the floor.
Still, day by day they take a piece of you away,
You don't notice, but, regardless you have no say.
You grow older and wiser,
Yet, also become smaller and blinder.
Love and hatred intertwine,
In love you see hate, in hate you see love- all overtime.


*
They go and they leave you out,
And you're left even more broken and alone than before, no doubt.
-d.***
May 2014 · 429
Faults
Dánï May 2014
An exploding head and a weak stomach,
Scattering thoughts and rising *****.

projected target

Painful movements and swollen eyes,
Achy limbs and teary sighs.

troubles minimized

A nose stuffed and a mouth open,
Sniffling lies and inhaling words unspoken.

lost emotion

Blurry sights and rancid smells,
Dizziness and it overwhelms.

empowered senses

Broken fingers and repaired walls.
Rough touches.. what seemed true was actually false.

*there are plenty of faults
-d.***
May 2014 · 324
Baby Girl
Dánï May 2014
I can't wait to lay my eyes on you,
For my hands to hold you.

For your tight grip on my one finger,
For your barely opened eyes to be filled with wonder.

For my breath to catch with yours,
For your heart to beat steady in my arms, you're already adored.

I'm going to protect you and be your savior,
*You're my baby girl.
dedicated to my niece

-d.***
May 2014 · 939
Dots
Dánï May 2014
No one knows me, and I mean that wholeheartedly.

Any clue you think I let slip was thought about carefully.
Any sigh or smile was planned out perfectly.
My curt replies written out pensively.
My attitude delivered deliberately.
My laughs emitted purposely.
Any sign of being intrigued thought about timely.
The bounce in my step choreographed repetitively.
Any cry made Oscar-ly.
Any sign of hopelessness shown thoughtfully.

Whether my skies are gray or blue,
*You only connect the dots I give you.
-d.***
May 2014 · 328
Next Time
Dánï May 2014
I'm scared I'll get so lost.
I'm scared I'll lose my train of thought.

I'm scared I won't be able to stop,
that I'll lose control of this self onslaught.



I'm afraid of the relief I feel.
I'm afraid of the need I have for sharp steel.

I'm afraid of the red trickling down,
of this being my way out.



I'm petrified of wanting to leave everything behind.
I'm petrified of not having anything left for me down the line.

**I'm petrified of the world and what's in it,
of the carving horrors on my arm and wrist.
-d.***
May 2014 · 449
Ocean Love
Dánï May 2014
I'm scared of the ocean but I love getting wet,
I love the beach but I hate the sand.
And if we could, I would bet,
Our love making would make the waves stilly stand.

Entwined like seaweed,
Smooth as shells.
We both plead and then we're freed,
Muted by the seagull's *yell.
-d.***
May 2014 · 698
Disproportionate Pools
Dánï May 2014
Floating, well trying to.
Sinking then lifting up
with clouds, right by you.
Nothing has ever described us as much.

This pool with its endless rivers,
Endless drops to infinity.
Temperature that keeps me warm but at the same time sends me shivers,
Your heated stare makes me cold, there's so much intensity.

Less is more or is more less? I feel like it's more about quality.

Half empty, half full cups,
Wantng you has a plus.
But then you hose me down to my inner crust,
Leaving nothing but rippling dust.

Trying to stand in angry waters,
Trying to swim against raging currents.
I've been through such horrors
that needing to be saved- by you-
is fervent.

Nothing makes it easy,
Neither boats or boards, they're too flimsy for me.
If you could just try to- and I ask beggingly-
throw me a life line by loving me deeply.

I'll glide to you happily,
That'll be a sight, you'll see.
-d.***
May 2014 · 212
Thin Ice
Dánï May 2014
Do I allow people in? Do I let them hold me while I cry?

Do I tell anyone know about the scars on my skin? Or should I push them away with a goodbye?

Is it absurd to even question it?
Any of that would surely result in being ripped to shreds.
-d.***
May 2014 · 309
Legacy
Dánï May 2014
I wonder what I'll be reminisced as, and no I'm not trying to sound cliché.
I want to know what'll pop into people's minds, when they hear my name.

Will I even be remembered? Will I leave an impact?
Was my kindness unmeasured? Or were my feelings too detached?

Did I destroy? Were your expectations of me surpassed?
Did I bring sorrow or joy? Did I leave people perfectly intact?

Did I make people go crazy good or crazy bad?
Was I anyone's perfect match?

Did I make people smile? Did I make people laugh?
Did I make the time they spent with me worth the while? Did I make them forget their troubles as the seconds passed?

Was my love strong and powerful?
Or was my heart pitifully poor?

Did I hurt? Did I stab?
Did I make anyone's vision blurred? Did I lead on until they became overly attached?

When my death arrives, will there be shattering heartaches?
Or will there be already broken people rejoicing at my fate?
-d.***
May 2014 · 289
Memory
Dánï May 2014
Being a person with bad memory means sometimes, mid-sentence, you lose your train of thought.

Being a writer with bad memory means you have to stop everything you're doing to write down a- could be fleeting- thought.

It also means no one knows my pure unaltered mind.

The words that could've made me known weren't shown. Instead they turned away into dust, never to be seen even by their author- me.

Which, more thoroughly, means even my thoughts feel ashamed.. they run and hide, not wanting to be seen.

My apologies for the words left unspoken.. But, then again, maybe I'm subconsciously doing you a favor.

*You're welcome.
-d.***
May 2014 · 318
Untitled
Dánï May 2014
"Razors pain you; rivers are damp;
acids stain you; and drugs cause cramps.
Guns aren't lawful; nooses give;
gas smells awful; you might as well live."
Apr 2014 · 188
For Now by Kitty
Dánï Apr 2014
Cover up the emptiness,
they won't look in the light.
Make them feel the bitterness,
know that they won't fight.

Never keep your promises,
watch them while they bleed.
The only truth ever told to them is,
they're not the only ones in need.

Crush the shallow dreams they make,
burn the frigid world they believe.
So now they are at last awake,
to look into the souls they deceive.

Tentatively they reach out a hand,
to try to mend what they have broken.
Unable to save those already ******,
"sorry" being a word too readily spoken.

Have they learned the lessons taught,
or are they just pretending now?
These hearts are too often bought,
they hope to feel the love somehow.

Look away and see them smile,
they're showing what you wish to see.
The darkness has gone away for a while,
they'll let you live this *fantasy.
http://squidgy-love.tumblr.com/post/83997495081/for-now
Apr 2014 · 335
I Know
Dánï Apr 2014
I know we put on a show,
Trust me, I know.

I know* it's hard,
I know people like us don't have it easy.
But it's effortless to pick up a shard,
And mutilate ourselves until looking in the mirror makes us queasy.

I know we can't talk even if we wanted to,
I know our emotions aren't always crystal clear.
But if it's one thing we want and so desperately pursue,
Is to be able to utter an "I'm okay" and for it to be completely sincere.

I know we can't trust,
I know it's been broken so many times.
But we've wrongfully learned to adjust,
To someone who isn't worth it, to someone who just hurts and lies.

I know what it's like to need and not get,
I know what it's like to be told "just forget".
But they don't know what we've been through,
They don't know all we've had to endure.

I know ending it seems unquestionable and inevitable,
I know the pain seems irrevocable and inequitable.
But I just want you to know that I'm here,
And it's hard to speak but I'm all ears.

*
I know we put on a show,
Trust me, I know.
please don't hesitate to talk to me, I'm just a click away

-d.***
Apr 2014 · 229
Take 100
Dánï Apr 2014
I'm broken,
Wishing someone will realize, but no one notices.
I'm hurt,
Hope you choke on all your cursed jokes and words.
I'm alone,
Whether it's my fault or yours is unknown.
I'm done,
But pills, blades, and shots don't always fulfill their purpose.
I might as well live this life tragically numb,*
And fight all these urges.
-d.***
Apr 2014 · 270
Concealed by Kitty
Dánï Apr 2014
Deadened* eyes and sugary lies,

We spill our guts and plan our demise.
From these withered roots we rise,
Count your breaths and swallow the sighs.

Lie awake and hope to die
,
Never let them hear you cry
.
Swallow the fear and say goodbye,
Whisper to the starry sky.

Like soft strokes of a lover’s hand
,
The wind carries voices of the ******.
Drained and weary they demand
,
To return to the warm embrace of land.

No more can we see the sun,
In the clouds and mist we run
.
Regret, there is but one
,
*That they had put down the gun.
http://squidgy-love.tumblr.com/post/83586928865/concealed
Apr 2014 · 822
But a Bud
Dánï Apr 2014
You broke down the walls of this home,
Tore this safe haven to shreds.
How do you seek refuge in a war zone?
How'd you make coffins for the breathing out of beds?

You pushed without exceeding the limit,
You always recoiled just in time.
Told me I was your dearest,
That I was doing just fine.

How do you find strength,
In broken hearts and bones?
How can one wish for death,
When they've just gotten out the womb, barely grown?

Do you feel any remorse,
Any well earned regrets?
How do you touch and destroy a corpse,
Is it something you easily forget?

Not for me, though I wish.
You turned blossoms into buds, magically.
How do you not remember the one who took your bliss?
You left your imprint on me, traumatically.

Even now, I can't seem to hate you.
I've kept quite, don't want to make momma's skies dark blue.
Thought it could be something you outgrew,
You know, time heals all wounds.

But, is it really all wounds, no matter how deep, no matter how much they weigh?
Or is it just the ones effortlessly viewed, the ones on display?
-d.***
Apr 2014 · 280
With Me
Dánï Apr 2014
Let me get into you,
Get deep like oceans, swim in them, too.
Nothing to shy away from, it's been long overdue.

Let's explore the 7 seas,
Force time to seize
As I soak up in your breeze.

Stay in your shores, leisurely.
Make the best of this, eagerly.
Enjoy the moist sand, dreamily.

Take it all the way home.
Shoot it out like rays from the sun,
Let the water run.
Yes baby, *come-
-d.***
Apr 2014 · 341
Blatant Mirrors
Dánï Apr 2014
I'm disgusted* by how you plaster on smiles,
By how you laugh too hard and too much to keep the tears at bay.
By how you can walk on for miles and miles,
Alone or in a crowd, with not a word to say.

I'm disgusted by how you're strong for others,
But weak for yourself.
By how you look in every man a father or a brother,
Some sort of safety in a lover, whom you leave without so much as a farewell.

I'm disgusted by how you can wake up one day and no longer care,
By how you leave hearts as shattered and as broken as yours.
By how you ask yourself why life isn't fair,
While you play and play until you get bored.

I'm disgusted by how you hate pain,
But take to your skin at any given chance.
By how you look for something or someone to blame,
Knowing good and well you're the reason for your own constant relapse.

I want to change how I look at myself,
But the image couldn't be any clearer.
These thoughts manifest themselves,
*I'm disgusted by what I see in the mirror.
-d.***
Apr 2014 · 514
Night Owl
Dánï Apr 2014
I come alive in the night-time,
Dead at day.
If you could see my thoughts you'd think they're sublime.
..........
Well, maybe not, but at least they'd catch your attention *anyway.
-d.***
Apr 2014 · 230
Thanks
Dánï Apr 2014
Amidst all the commotion,
You've managed to open up a calm, clear field in my path.
Even if it was just a flash, a tease of a longed apparition, it was full of emotion.
You made it falter- this onslaught of a wrath.

You caught me off guard,
But I became untouchable.
I dodged and missed the slash of the sword that would've left me marred,
Caught a few punches but remained unbreakable.

Even then, it was you who was thanking me.
And though I should be the one doing so, you thanked me for existing, for talking to you.
It's unbelievable how even past all my walls you could still see
How much I was putting at risk through and through.
You thanked me for putting my heart on the line.
That was when I started hurting for breaking you while I was moving on, doing just fine.

I just want to thank you for looking past all my flaws, past all my heartless decisions.
For always seeing the bright light radiating from within,
For mounting me up high even when I refused to let you in.

Thank you for allowing me to end and begin.
Even if it was at your expense, you let me win.
I'm sorry

-d.***
Apr 2014 · 723
Forevers
Dánï Apr 2014
I believe in certain forevers.

I believe in goodbyes that render tremors,
In sad moments and blue weather.
That lasts forever.

I believe in pain with no measure,
In aching and breaking that doesn't get better.
That lasts forever.

I believe in tears and quivers,
In curling up with an empty feeling that festers.
That lasts forever.

I believe in certain forevers,
But never the ones that cause pleasure.
-d.***
Apr 2014 · 593
Long, Deep
Dánï Apr 2014
Long sighs* of exhaustion,
You keep blowing things out of proportion.
Deep sighs of regret,
You never let me forget.

Long thoughts on you,
Remind me of everything we've been through.
Deep thoughts on our once upon a time,
Pray they lessen overtime, pray I'll be just fine.

Long moments of daydreaming,
When you think about me, I hope you're screaming.
Deep moments of crashing down
Into the water, there I drown.

Long incisions to the end,
Heard those can't be mended.
Deep incisions full of fear,
There's no going back from here.
-d.***
Apr 2014 · 1.3k
Cheap Sunglasses
Dánï Apr 2014
Caught sight of me,
Sprinted towards me at full speed.
Left me disoriented at impact,
You knew, for you, I was the perfect catch.

Pretented to mend me,
While feeding me poison ever so sweetly.
Lifted me up and set me firmly
On a chair cemented to the ground- you were all I could see.

Every now and then
You illuminated my world with false light.
Your stone cold hands caressed me,
Created a fire only you could ignite.

Through time I grew accustomed,
With time came wisdom.
I was able to finally open my eyes, finally got my freedom.

It was unmistakeable, your malice,
I saw through you like *cheap sunglasses.
-d.***
Apr 2014 · 292
Irreparable
Dánï Apr 2014
An injured arm,
A broken heart,
I meant no harm,
Still I got torn apart.

Blank eyes,
Crazy thoughts,
Can't set them aside,
In this tangled web I'm caught.

I hurt,
You try.
I've been cursed,
I don't know why.

I need a friend,
I need to be held.
It'll soon end,
There's no *help.
-d.***
Apr 2014 · 223
A Star and a Comet
Dánï Apr 2014
I find myself dreaming while I'm awake, dying while I'm living.
I think of you and the softness of your skin, but how hard it was to the touch when you wanted it to be.
How every word uttered from your lips caressed me so painfully I trembled at any and every sound you'd make.
Your eyes, they'd go on forever, I could never look away, lost in your labyrinth.

You had me where you wanted me, you knew this, too.
You say jump and I ask how high?
You say run and I ask how fast?
You say fall and I don't even plan on you to catch me.

See, it's a one way street with you.
You take and take and never give,
I'm so desperate for you.
You keep me on my toes and that's what makes me stay. You don't let me sit idle, no grapes being handed to me, no fannings by large, green leaves.
You hurt and destroy endlessly... yet somehow that kindles a fire in me.

I'm ready to give you all of me.
I'm so ready for you to do the same.

In the moment, I know that's asking for way past what you're willing to give. But, hear me out, I was just like you, until a me came along- you.

I know you care but don't know how to show it.
I know you love but don't know how to express it.
I know it hurts not knowing, but there's nothing else for people like us.
We sit in oblivion and foolishly think we got it all under control.

That's another reason why I stay, because you're me and I'm you, and
I've never felt so close to us.

*A star and a comet, can't figure out who's who.
-d.***
Apr 2014 · 408
Crazy
Dánï Apr 2014
Being crazy is knowing something but thinking another.

Knowing it's impossible to count the stars in the night sky,
Knowing I can't fly,
But thinking I can and I will.

Knowing I can't stop wanting you,
Knowing you won't ever want me like I do,
But thinking we can and we will.

Knowing nothing lasts forever,
Knowing this won't get better,
But thinking it can and it will.

Sometimes crazy is the only reason I'm sane,
I'm just looking for the sunshine that follows the *rain.
-d.***
Apr 2014 · 718
Gene to Kill
Dánï Apr 2014
We all have it in us, that gene to ****,
How if given the chance, we'd fight for our life.
Pretend to not be capable but, surprisingly, become very strong willed,
We'd do the most horrendous crimes out of desperation and strife.

It's a gene I wish to not have because,

I find it kind of funny, kind of melancholic,
How being a survivor is beautified.
I'm sorry, but I find no logic,
In fighting to live, while living to *die.
-d.***
Apr 2014 · 311
Youth
Dánï Apr 2014
We commit many errors, through misadventures.
We do things we're not supposed to, out of pleasure.

We choose to forget, we don't want to remember,
Then complain about not knowing ourselves- being our own transgressors.

All because we're

*Old enough to know better,
Young enough to do whatever.
-d.***
Mar 2014 · 271
Caution
Dánï Mar 2014
I like to see the good in everyone,
I love to give but hate to receive, am I the only one?

I'd love to see everyone grinning,
Hm, that's probably wishful thinking.

I feel sorrow for every hurt soul,
Curse the one who turned you cold.

But, of course, you can't always tell,
Who went through or gave hell.

I think ultimately we all need help.
We all want to keep sane and not lose *ourselves.
be careful

-d.***
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