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im throwing away everything
nothing matters anymore
not an inch of sentimentality moves in me
take the black trash bag
i won't even look through the old pictures
all these memories, emotions
there won't be a time for me to reminisce
anyway
look at this broken frame
it cracked where your smile is

just like how the same smile cracked
that lifeless heart within me
a heart that i can't choose to throw
regardless of its dark ***** blackness

*oh light
why wouldn't u enter this crack
am i this much of a piece of trash
 Apr 2015 xXwallflower53Xx
Chris
-

Tracing the cosmos
In wide open spaces
Only to face
The dreams that I wander
A lonely existence
Among constellations
Orbiting my desires
Now eclipsed by you

Gazing down
The earth below seems faded
As this distance counts
Light years like glazed donuts
Tempting from a window, as a kid
Licking the glass,
Never tasting the prize

Lunar phases
Become poetic phrases
Cosmic dust descending
Caught in gravity’s pull
Rocketing towards a target
Programmed for a safe
Reentry into your heart

The craft juts and jolts, screeching
Amidst the desolate silence of space
“Houston, we have a problem.
She needs to know how I feel,
how much I love her...”
Static echoed frequency hums
Transmission ended
All hope burned up
Crash landed
I am breathless
I am lifeless
I am lost in my own skin
My days know no beginning
Nor do they know an end
Help me lol
I survived:
My father's death, who left too early,
My mother's trip to the land of forever fog,
The loss of a child,
A few years in the Pool,
Swimming with gentle crocodiles,
The mountain trail somewhere East,
An angry crowd in Musutiste,
On the same day, the shelling in Studencane,
A few disappointments,
One recent betrayal,
And the black cloud nightmares.

I will survive:
The daily headache,
The selection at the Academy
The fading love,
The obsessive longing for Someone,
Yes, I will survive
It all.

So help me God.
Musutiste and Studencane on February 20th, 1999:
twice on that day, God decided it was not due time for me.
 Apr 2015 xXwallflower53Xx
Lunar
And yes, i have always wanted to chase you and pull you into my arms to caress your soft neck with my silver friend and she would cut me open in front of you to show you how my heart has been turned to stone and i would take it out and smash it to your head that you would finally know how it's like to lose your mind, just like how i lost my heart
 Apr 2015 xXwallflower53Xx
Lunar
When your tears just flow without hesitance
Or when someone asks why you look so sad but nothing's on your mind
And it seems that your existence wants to stop existing itself
But you just don't know anymore
And you don't know how to answer anyone or yourself about how you really feel
All you know is sometimes you feel high
When you feel down
 Apr 2015 xXwallflower53Xx
Lunar
her soft skin turns
blushing pink
like porcelain
but you don't break
every time you fall
before my eyes
instead
with a graceful landing
you look up
and smile at me
in your splendor
oh how much i want to visit japan
 Apr 2015 xXwallflower53Xx
Lunar
I look out to the sea
Which reminds me of you
My thoughts reach out
But you get carried further away
To the depths of despair
To the farthest corner
You leave me behind
But my boat still stays
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