ANGELS

ANGELS
Act 6

Then rise from ashes
A charred body
Without a soul
It's a life without mercy
It collects its toll

Lie still
And speak in whispers
Closing eyes
Makes the visions crisper
Dreams that wander
All are raptured
Bodies of dead
Easily captured

There are no angels
Without any sin
Forget what's known
Ignore the din
What's there
Is all to be taken
There are no faiths
That can't be shaken

Death has no morals
And no compassion
Live out the days
In a new fashion

M. N. R.
23 MAY 2018

Yellow is
a high-minded mood
the extravagance of sunlight
to be touched--
before long
by colors of play
___

It is of hair
tendering golden sun
brown pennies for lemonade
__

Yellow is
bumping into the screaming end
of a lit
cigarette
___

Yellow is
dripping from the eaves
onto an empty soup can
___

It is
spindling sparrow song
from highest perch on roof
his pitch can aspire
___

Yellow is
in rattled doorknob
an infant's sweet
voice wanting – in
Reciting menu
above mattress
edges into sleep
two dark eyes
plead
for yellow
waking
Mother into morning--
“juice.... eggs”

Yellow  ___
is
opening a car door
at the shore's
unmistakable!
Smells of life  
warmth and breeze
touching strings
those kites  
of sense
harmonics
above the tone
octaves of excitement
to see to hear to touch to taste
to know
again –

the ocean of my mother
as she calms the waves,
ignores the pouts of us
with stuff to lug out to the beach
the towels, pails and shovels
Picnic basket, cooler
lotion, comic books, her magazines

Mom looks out
She is a good swimmer
Her glasses, dark
Preside  
reflecting beauty –

“Take your sister's hand.”

Yellow are the squeals
Feet thrashing sand
of cannot wait

the stars
otherworldly and untouchable to i
brought me to feel insignificant and far
from worthy enough to look at the sky
and yet
i feel also chosen by
those beautiful unknowns to me they lie
they evade my gaze
staying only peripherally mine
twinkling, flickering, reminiscent of a child
innocent, lovely, and wild
shadows of those jewels is all i see
of the distant stars avoiding me

We cannot write silence.
The beats.
The pause.
The breath.
The way it aches
and persists

and begs that,

if only for a moment,

our consciousness is only a whisper.
our bodies,
our lips,
the air that passes through falling chests
and stillness.

A melody of emotion.
Sleeping in the quiet of a heartbeat skipped
a word lost to the wind.

The wickedness of reticence
Encapsulated in air and time.

The moment stretched too long.
Hesitation perpetuated in the grip of fingernails
pressed into palms.

We cannot write silence,
but we can try.

to find a way to immortalize emotion
to create space
in the ceaseless drone of words that speak and spin.

I cannot write silence. But I can write
tears and years
and the burn of long-stretched lies.

I can write goodbyes and hellos
And dozen ways to say
I love to hate you
Or
I hate to love you
and sometimes
I cannot tell the difference.
Silence.
The space I have upheld for myself.

I love to hate you
Heart.

I hate to love you too.

I cannot write silence.
But I know it.
and I have held it in my hand.

slowly
he plagued her thoughts less and less
the painful process
of recovery
of finding her breath again
from a love that made her feel less than she was
her thoughts of him
fewer and farther between with every sun
became muted
irrelevant to her life
sore still
and a little bit achy
but standing up
with shaky legs
and a healing heart
falling in love with herself
and her God
even more

a sign outside reads stay fresh, and

it's like "got milk" so I'm forced to take this seriously

It's painted over a brick wall, tan, gray, mostly tan

and adjacent to tthe wall are a prius, a nexus, a bmw and on the far side typical cream van, not white.


there is a bookeeping and taxation building that is now in ruins, remains from a few decades past, probably owned by the state with no useful occupation, yet.  

hobos swear at each other in the street, over bananas and marbarlos and gatorades

Far adjacent, another abandonded building.  Could've been a school

Stay fresh, thank god I have my milk

Those sometimes
    those moments of time….
I’ve Had My Times.      

        I’ve had my times….
times of feeling loss, pain, hurt
   times of wanting to run, to leave
   to go far away where nobody knows me…
   there was a time when i was carefree, loving life
   and in one moment,
                      in one little moment, it was gone.
i’ve been beaten down, i’ve had my innocents ripped away
     [fifteen-year abusive marriage]       [***** at sixteen]
i’ve cried a river or maybe it’s been an ocean of tears….
           [pain consumed my life for many years]
i’ve felt the hand of death too many times
my soul has bled, my heart….. has known much pain
    i’ve looked through windows of dark blue
seen streaks of red…
                               pondered black holes…
                  have had days of staying in bed…  
sometimes i’ve wanted the world to just go
                                                         leave me behind
let me be, let me die….

BUT……  
I’ve had those moments of time when….
    
                               i’ve held new life in my hands
heard the beauty of a newborns cry
       i’ve seen the beauty of an ocean sunset
gazed wondrously at sea spirits’ dancing on the water
i’ve breathed deeply in the fresh mountain air
          felt the softness of a breeze
                like gentle fingers moving through my hair
           i’ve seen the old find new love
                  an amazing magical sight to see…
i’ve watched my children build beautiful lives
      not always perfect but, full of hopes and dreams.
i’ve learned to give through my pain
   i’ve seen and felt passion
            i’ve walked through fire
               and found true beauty on the other side.
   i look for beauty every day, even when it’s hard to do
i let love flow to every part me
                                                 giving the best to you.
  i let it consume me because falling into the depths
     of the demons of my past, would destroy
that part of my soul i have fought so hard to get back
to keep, so i let love, passion, and beauty consume me.
   And I Forever Will…..
                                          ~
              A sweet release we give our heart
                from pain of past that tore apart,
                    relief that only one can find
         when hearts we let, become unconfined
             to leave behind those stormy skies
                      letting self-love baptize…
                                         ~

Beauty
is the early morning
when
dew sparkles
like golden wine
as the birds
start to sing in harmony
and the air
is filled with scents of pine.
Breathe in
the fresh morning air
feel all senses
come alive
as sun rays
shine through the trees
announcing
daybreak has arrived...
A soft breeze
blowing through the trees
displaying
the beauty of this place
close your eyes
listen to the sounds
as the wind
gently kisses your face.
Sense
the flowers blooming
stand
firm on the ground
open your heart and mind
as hope
starts to zoom all around.
Look
to the clear blue sky
feel
the brightness
of the sun
as it lovingly
touches your face
let the joyful cry
of nature
fill your
soul
with beauty and grace.

If I could have you back
for just one day,
I’d tell you all the things
I never did say…

I’d tell you I love you
and that I always will,
I’d tell you all my joys
even my little thrills.

I’d tell you my dreams
and sadness’s too,
I’d tell you my dark secrets
that you never knew…

I’d tell you about the love
deep in my heart,
I’d tell you of the day
I was torn apart…

I’d tell you how I miss you
and wish you were here,
I’d tell you everything
I hold so dear…

If I could have you back
for just one day,
I’d find a way
to continue the stay…
~