Dylis on a table,
tag around her toe.
She tried to make it somewhere.


Dylis on a table,
disease around herself.
She tried to make it somehwere.


Dylis on a table,
She tried to make it somewhere.
AIDS the on to travel,
she has found herself nowhere.


Dylis on a table,
tag around her toe.
She tried to make it somehwere.
Had to let life go.

There is a place i go to hide
There is a place where i wished i had died
There is a place somehwere near
Where i have often gone and cried

This place i tried to share
But no one seemed to care
To me it was magical
Buf i didn't really dare

To hope that they could see
Because this place encompassed me
And wasnt about them
It was where i had come to be

To be who i am now
Its where i found
Out who i truly was
Its where my heart was bound

I went there often
I havent been back
I miss it
That beautiful rooftop
Where i would sit
And cry
Or wish i could die
Or think about suicide
Or where i would go
When there was no one home
And i could sit and think
I miss my rooftop
It was my place.

I see no degradtion
in my broken passion of words
these words I speak from my deepest creases
my secrets hidden in the birds

I let you read me in my peices of peices
and I am called absurd
I let you let me shift you with my magic
now your vision of me is more blurred

Ill let you hunt me down
so lopsided and up and done battered
I open the door hallucinating and tattered
its not not like you never mattered

I just have remote in my hands
I have intrusive in my wastelands
now my lungs expand


slow
ly
I lift my eyes and bend my head
without voice I preech muse of the dead
Im yearning for more than lifes bread
and we yell enough
enough
was said
but I get on my knees and I beg
life I say might there be something better that you can
grant
to express myself in ways purer than this
because I feel that I cant

I will carry my mind somewhere further than any foreign land
somehwere to a brutal coma
where little aliens of dripping uphoria exsist
hidden deep in every uncharted abyss
they will come up from the mudd
I will unravel them with the unraveling of this flower bud
I will lift my head up then nudge
in acceptence of all these empty cabinets
they have been emptied out by my wet mouth
to ease the pain and **** the drought
that burries itself like a baby
under the sheets of blood in my eyes

I see no degradtion
in my broken passion of words
these words I speak from my deepest creases
my secrets hidden in the birds

I let you read me in my peices of peices
and I am called absurd
I let you let me shift you with my magic
now your vision of me is more blurred

Ill let you hunt me down
so lopsided and up and done battered
I open the door hallucinating and tattered
its not not like you never mattered

I just have remote in my hands
I have intrusive in my wastelands
now my lungs expand

slow
ly
I lift my eyes and bend my head
without voice I preech muse of the dead
Im yearning for more than lifes bread
and we yell enough
enough
was said
but I get on my knees and I beg
life I say might there be something better that you can
grant
to express myself in ways purer than this
because I feel that I cant

I will carry my mind somewhere further than any foreign land
somehwere to a brutal coma
where little aliens of dripping uphoria exsist
hidden deep in every uncharted abyss
they will come up from the mudd
I will unravel them with the unraveling of this flower bud
I will lift my head up then nudge
in acceptence of all these empty cabinets
they have been emptied out by my wet mouth
to ease the pain and **** the drought
that burries itself like a baby

what was it like?  
Being ripped away from    
the only place you ever knew,  
the place you grew up in, what you called home.  
In a ship cramped between foreign people.  
Bones,  both yours and theirs, protruding,  
digging into your sides.  
Did this scare you?

How did it feel?  
Your neck, ankles, wrists chained.  
Your body binded to others  
who suffered the same fear of this unkown.
Frozen, immobile, confined to this state,
Uncertainty lacing the air
Your lungs filling with dread  
How did you breathe?  

what was it like?
arriving somehwere new,
completely different and obscure  
where you would be stripped of being yourself  
where your name and beliefs would not matter  
where you were judged by appearance  
and your abilities.
Did you know this?  

How did it feel?
Doing what they wanted  
Having no control of your life  
Being defenceless to them using you  
Them placing their hands where they should not be  
Sold as if you were an object  
Treated like animals  
Did that break you?  

What was it like?  
When they took them away  
without even a second glance.
as if they werent your most prized possession.  
as if your blood did not run through their veins  
When he said the boy was not his  
and refused to raise him  
Did that hurt you?  

How did it feel  
To be considered a slave?

T'was fun
Somehwere i've never been
Forming bonds i've never had
Trying things i've never tried
Fallacy in my reality
Driving under the sun
Then I came back home
But
Somewhere
Perahps another reality
I am still driving
I never left
I can sense it
Also
It might have never happened
But If you ask around it did

I never knew how much you meant to me until you were gone
Until you disappeared to hell or heaven
To be with your sister or not
To decompose and help a tree grow
To reincarnate and come back to me
To fill the void
To anywhere but somehwere with me
To anywhere but somewhere I can see
To anywhere but the place I need you to be,
Here with me

I wanna write a letter to you
but I thought it better if I used
my metaphores and told a story for ya
this one starts when I was young
before all that numb stuff
back before love was a cup
full of drugs
back where I grew up
there wasn't much but
a couple of us kids
livin life like we wished
the sunshined all the time
you could catch us out side
from noon till night
ridin bikes, playin play fight
on the same side, bein knights
slaying dragons with our swords
or soldiers out at war
always packing action with
whatever we imagined happend
I remember vividly
impatiently waitin for the gamin
on the end the week
on the ps 1,2,3,
360, pc, or wii, just
livin the dream with my brother
somewhere in the suburbs
in the pool gettin sun burnt
little fools with each other
gettin noodles after supper
time seemed to fly so slow
waitin on the cold
so we could go play in the snow
till we're red in the nose
knowin Christmas coming close
it was simple livin those days
when we were children
at times I miss it kinda wish it
didn't ever end though us back then
wanted to grow up so bad an
reminscin it's the same ****, it's
wishin we were somehwere different
missin out on the beauty of livin
minute to minute that's livin in now
so stuck up in the clouds
come down an look around
what you'll find is pretty awesome
opportunity begins to blossom
everything stops looking so rotten
so often lost in those Glory days
never stop to entertain that hey
maybe today's the golden age
sun still shinin an I'm feelin great

slow down bud there's
so much to do
growin up it'll
come so soon
the futures bright and
the past was great but
for a while let's
live in today

as I sit here, watching this door in the dark,
my mind wanders to what just happened.
my mind blanks out and replays everything that
was said in that one instant of that long night.
on everything, I regret every word, every loud,
disgusting word I yelled at you.
I know you were somehwere
feeling the same way.
I know you were somewhere fuming with heat and sorrow, wanting to come home.
but I knew you probably wouldnt,
since you know what I would have more to say.
But tonight... if you came back...
I would say nothing.
I wanted you back home,
safe with me, with the little family you have in me,
where you know I love you no matter what.
I burned a hole in the door that night,
hearing myself breathe, my heart jumping at every sound that passed my ears.
after an hour, my heart gave up on looking
so I rolled one and turned on the tv to drown the room with sound until I could forget.
I went to the kitchen and looked in the fridge ---
you bought me my favorite ice cream yesterday
and when I looked at the tub... I wanted to drown
in my own hot tears that dripped down my face.
I snatched it and sat back down,
still anticipating that you would open the door.

after two movies and a show noone new about,
I gave up on listening,
I gave up on you coming home.
I slipped into a sleep that was uneasy but still
comfortable to my hot chest.
I laid there on the couch, half drowned
in ice cream and **** smoke.
my mind drifted to you and a future without you,
I drifted to a world where we werent we,
I shivered in the thought and when I could take
no more ... I popped up in a sweat,
and in my chair... was you.

I will never be able to tell you in person
Wish you would just understand
I saw you somehwere in my thaughts last night
We were holding hands, "Honey I'm not myself without you, please come back"

Feeding my eyes with your dreams all night
A thousand questions reside in me
End up answering them too,
No matter how much I'm busy
Wherever life takes me
I found myself back with you
Your thaughts wont just elope,

This struggle will not end here
Your memories will never fade
My love can never age
I have asked you from the divine giver
This i say from faith,
One day I'll hold your hands, "Honey, don't ever leave me again"

This old Joshua tree will pray for me when I am dead and gone
And you will pawn my rings away and go and stay with John
I looked at you in my last breath but you didn't listen to what I said
You left me by myself to die alone in my bed

I crawled inside my head that night and looked for my God
I screamed as I lost my way, got lost in the fog
I followed the sound of howling dogs they lead me somewhere new
Somewhere where I knew at last, I knew thst you weren't true

The faires caught me before I died and said to me thus
"We know a way for you to fly you just need some trust"
I had little choice and in my weakest voice said "Show me what you got"
They took me by the hand and dragged me to a parking lot

They laid me out upon the ground and took my bounds from me
They tore the teeth out from my mouth and now I cannot see
They pried the nails from my fingers and toes and i never saw them again
And now I am half a man, it's where the fun began

They told me of a town they found marching east about a day
Maybe I would meet my mind somehwere along the way
But that's by the by as here I lie as I'm sure you knew
I couldn't slip a thing past you, new dogs old tricks

Honestly, there's just one thing I need right now. Just us two, in one of those small, empty diners with those pink/red and blue neon signs. Being able to talk about stuff. Sad stuff, and happy stuff. Mostly good stuff. To steal your breath somehwere on a park bench and being able to hold your hand in public. I just want a simple life with you.

You will never
know how I held
back sharp words
behind a caged mouth,
when you asked
me of my day.

I wanted to cut off
your golden hair
and wear it as
a mustache,
because you
forgot to take
out the **** trash.

I had my lighter
right around
my neck,
and knew
how to
spark it,

but knew
that one
spark
of anger
would
destroy
our million
pieces of
shared joy.

And so I
refrained,
and thought maybe
I had completed
an important
life lesson.

Maybe somehwere up
in the heavens
God and Jesus
were cajoling
over wine
of my decision,

The little cherub
angels were
sounding their
trumpets
preparing for
my arrival
one day,

and sharpeining
their wings
to inevitably
carry me back
to my improved
return as
some great
historical
figure or
rare bird,
to reward
my refrain,
to reward
my refrain.