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Ryan Bowdish Aug 2010
There is no floor
Below the water there is sand and dust
My feet disappear below the mist
And below that is a floor of nothing.

Lock and key, relative conductivity
Separation of anxieties
Generally elementary
Universal energy
Scientific inquiry
Empirical discovery

What a bunch of crap.

I bathe in fake white plastic
I swim in silent smiles
Dionysian warfare paintings
Classical textual narrating

Fitness, happiness, soporific movies
Genial tendencies, braced for ingenuity
Waiting for a paroxysm to bring forth neologisms
That test the boundaries of scientific truth
That recapture the errant minds of youth
We could make new buildings or lose a tooth

I hold the latter higher than that
I tilt the ladder there and back
Assiduous and wont, *** for tat
All a game, a joke at that
Your domain, provoked and trapped
Impressionistic spinal taps
On canvases of green and black
All from within cerebral shacks

Wind hammers palm trees on windowpanes
Wind tears down houses, rips apart planes
Wind doesn't move me, yet seems urbane
It's so jejune, it's all the same
I'm tired and lonely, powder remains
Pink like reagents in reactive flames
Quick like catalysts jumping inane
Frontal lobes retired my brain.
My favorite piece that I have written.
Mateuš Conrad Jun 2016
only today i felt this strange fear from boredom, i don't expect housewives to feel it, although i'm certain they do, brain-draining watching some Jurassic adaptation where man's imagination really did a runner - not into the fantastical but into the absurd - like in science fiction, did a runner, completely off the mark given chemists making shampoos and toothpastes and fertilisers... ethically-free science fiction - but this housebound fear from boredom, greater than a fear of death it seized me and rattled me, i had to go out to buy a few beers; just like it happens to really rich people, they make their homes into micro-units of what's out there, in society, a swimming pool when there's a communal one elsewhere, a massive library of unread books, when there are plenty of those elsewhere, home cinema, snooker table... it's the entire spectrum of social pastimes condensed into a single household... anyway, i got hot and bothered, i'm starting to think it was not a fear of boredom, but what to do with the piri-piri chicken i was marinating: tomato puree, 1tbsp balsamic vinegar, half a large lemon squeezed, 1sp sugar, 1tsp paprika, 1/2 tsp cajun pepper, 14g of parsley, mint, oil, 2 chillies, 2 tsp of garlic puree, salt to taste - whisked in a food processor; ~1kg of chicken - because i thought whether i should shove the chicken marinate in an oven bag and cook it for a while, or whether to take the chicken out from the marinate and place it on a baking tray... ****!

poems and book reviews these days, nothing more,
get someone else to do the legwork -
a thoroughly modern malaise -
social anthropology - titled *tribe
-
the pros and cons of modern life and our
search for tribal mythology -
the 8x more chance of depression and
other mental deviations in wealthier
societies than poorer ones -
once it was called adventure, now
it's called tourism - after a while you sort
of get bored of the naked ego
and the clothing range your thought
provides you - unless you keep thinking
out the same thing, over and over again,
dressed like Armani, all black, nothing else -
odd, isn't it? they're playing the cat game,
cat wakes up, same ****, different cover,
well, the same cover - same fur - can't
change - the paradox or parody of
the fashion industry, i.e. that the designers
wear the same thing over and over again
and insist people require a spring collection,
the latest autumn trend.... parody.
so back to this piri-piri chicken      n'ah, not really,
i was thinking about what we already did,
this anti-tribalism, to have given ourselves
the opportunity to experience the least
amount of pain, the anaesthetic, sleep inducing
on the butcher's table more or less -
but we also created another anaesthetic,
this anaesthetic is not so subtle - it concerns beauty -
ever see it? ever walk into Tate Modern and
think about Raphael or Michelangelo?
you could tell me i'm overly nostalgic -
but what i see in plain sight is an anaesthetic in place,
against beauty, esp. in architecture -
who'd think of building a new Coliseum or
a St. Paul's - the Tate Modern (as you might
or might not know) is inside a power station,
big massive chimney - would have worked
better in the Battersea (Pink Floyd's Animals
album sleeve), but then St. Paul's is right opposite
and what a staggering dichotomy it is -
i'm sure that's what you call an anaesthetic in art,
the sort of art you have to get or not get
because, frankly, admiring a tin-can of tomato soup
even by Warhol's standards isn't exactly appetising -
i know, conveyor belt necessity and all, once
artists painted on commission for some duke or
duchess, or king to be adorning lavish palaces,
but as according to Walter Benjamin - the work
of art in the age of mechanical reproduction
-
some could once claim the original to be worth
a stupendous amount of dosh, but with the above
mentioned essay, the original is worth diddly-squat,
because there is no actual original these days,
because artists don't necessarily have to invest
in raw materials - and the copying process is 100%
perfect, what with photocopying and all...
but **** me over once more, how am i going
to cook this piri-piri chicken?
the few beers took the problem off my hands,
i ended up marinating the chicken in a bag
but then shoved it into a baking tray
an covered with aluminium foil, forty odd
minutes and the chicken was tender - ~5 minutes
without the aluminium foil covering while
the oven was switched off and the temperature
was descending - the carbs? couscous -
alt. North African semolina - and extra cucumber
in tzatziki - a few hours later and i'm a little
buddha not thinking an ounce or a continent's worth
of suggestion... one of those rare albums
salmonella dub's  inside the dub plates,
i'm a real provincial with this album,
tumble **** here, tumble **** there,
never settling for a ****-garden -
i told you i'm just borrowing the language, in fact,
given my alcoholic and status as vermin among
the bulldog rigid British (Londoners can have
their little gay pride parade, whatever, they
better give me up for surgery to a veterinarian than
a human doctor, after all, i'm all ******* gerbil from
now on in, it doesn't take enough pacifists to turn
my attitude into a Neo-**** and bulldozer the Union
Jack into a shallow grave, i don't expect the Caribbeans
and the Pakistanis to usher words of: it's how it is,
a rite of passage, **** your cumin and your ****,
battle of Britain, who among the R.A.F. flew and spat fire?
us) i'm more Apache in a bigger zoo than the one in
Reagents Park, i'm in a conservation zoone -
i'm Aboriginal - shaman of the fire water -
i'll be as ******* ridiculous as i want - go chant
you little kirtan get together mantras going,
i'm sure you'll *****-fight-those-pigeons dead without
a single coo being ushered in - and your little yoga stints
asking questions about the flexibility of the skeleton
not pulverised by scientific eyes for a schematic and
a schooling rubric to domino up the cranium with mandible,
ulna and radius etc. -
but at least i know what sort of country i live in,
and what country is wandering into political apology that's
too late, in ratio 27:1, soon to be Turkey + the Yugoslavian
gape, Albanian and Macedonia by 2020 -
>30:1 - great Welsh ratio that is, oh ****, wait, Scotland too?
i never thought about it coming - there's my 2 cents
on the topic, and that England is becoming more American
by the day? that's good? really?! i thought the
aim of England was to inspire America rather than
vice versa... what a ****-storm these few days ended
up being; ol' McDonald didn't have a farm, but
had the slogan - *i'm lovin' it!
Aaron E Dec 2018
I feel the friction raising blisters to fingers.
I feel the whispers of the smoke when it lingers,
a siren rifling delirium
and biting to the throat of a genius
who questions how bad miasma hurts the singer.
It's the quintessential fever dream between us

Oh, he's so smart, look at his three page diatribe
describing his rage, he's a machinist
yeah
Go join the dire parades of craven weakness.
Admire reagents calculated to the T,
brewed and created for playfully degrading,
and raising heart rate, lying to you,
and prying from your fingers.
When they ask you why you're dying be facetious.
Just sew the mask on to your face and make it seamless.

Breath it in.

Smell the plastic and bone.
Relax enraptured in what half of us know.
We drink the rumors from a chalice,
sink in fallacies of balance,
humor actuates the patterns,
and its harder to battle the tumor after it's grown.
Then we're just grass on the road,
and we can laugh as we go,
and we can act as if inaction
ain't the crack in the stone.
And we'll be baffled alone.
We'll be the practical applicants
of a graph of a lung,
hung in a school.
Drooling hospital drones.

Stool in a bag on his side.
Try to hide the agony in seeing lagging behind
tank of life on a chain.
Banking his breath on a check,
and when it bounces he dies.

It ends faster than you think it might.

Don't even start.
If you're smoking, quit. If you aren't, don't.
EJ Aghassi Feb 2014
infatuation is such a
filthy thing, isn't it?

carpet ripped from underneath,
you get the wind knocked
out of you as your back hits the hard ground

staring blankly at the stars
that don't care enough to twinkle,
even the moon wouldn't pay you
a second glance

not even out of pity

self mutilation is
the realization

that I like you

transmuting gold back
into useless reagents

I like you

graduating from budding
to full-blown alcoholic

because I like you

you make a blue sky
turn gray

I like you

the sun won't ever
shine the same

it knows I like you

clouded clime
perpetual rain

chemical imbalance
impoverished brain

near insane
digging a grave

you
ruin
my day
because

I like you
Aaron E Dec 2018
Color me refuse
Mud in the underbelly
The loose form of a man shoveling **** with a plan to tunnel out and hand the sentence to my master
Lose the chain around my neck and find a plot of land to dance tomorrow

It’s so far away though

Will I tread the sea of bodies strung along the ground
between the sphinxes gate to claim the crown, that even now glimmers past the smog that attempts to fog my vision my decision to walk on tested with every sound.

Bury my pride and carry the burden in stride refuse to tarry or cower or decide to turn around
Push the pen to the page with bleeding fingers
Paint with all the colors of masterpiece until I force something out

Will I?

Or will the tar on my lungs erase me
Will I be wrung like a towel thrown in
Drunk on futility
Chasing with impotent rage
Caged in a circus of ****** on a stage cuz I can’t raise a kid on minimum wage

Furious clouds are born storming throughout luxurious tapestries torn by ******* apathy ask me if My potential still holds sway when my energy has me using my hands to stop the rain.
Torrents pour in to clear my storage of scraps and sheer force of denial implores the whip on my back to pretend it’s on my side while it slips in a crack and adores the dough made from my heart attack

Bedazzled prizes consume the whipping allies beside me
inventing new ways to cope with bottom feeding society
assuming truth’ll be derived if so behooved are the masters and their plastic constituents which I guess makes sense, but
poor judgement lends my flesh up to communion if I dare to walk in and say union.


The reagents and *** kissers call into question mindsets infected by a weakness of character
I shed my pride and inquire with an open hand the law layers of the land to relinquish a sparing of its crumbs
Spun from a singular purpose of a daughters meal the judges glaring does little to impair my will to take the help I can
and spare the child the repercussions of her fathers failure and prepare a better plan

Further choral echoing discord turns it ugly head upon the scraps in my hand and posits that if they were taken it would make me work a lot harder instead of coasting on crumbs

So when the coal baron collects his second billionth he will surely cease pursuing correct?
Not do his best to dissect
Every millisecond of labor dug from workers he’s abusing to wring another penny out.
in fact
I think I see your point
Poised to join and help detract
Back peddle over to
Destroying. Prove lying
On your belly is the easy way out. To say
Today’s coin was well deserved. And serve stout drinks to the kings sleep on a rock and talk **** to the guy sleeping in a box because I’ve been taught to think I deserve where I am regardless of my environment but c'mon man ****

Let’s play a game of monopoly
I’ll start with 80% of the bank and y’all can be my ******* when I pay to write the rules and spank you up and down the board while barely touching the capital I have stored.

I’m getting pretty ****** tired of the stale story hard wired in our heads where the moral is free market prevailing for the pauper til he’s dead and social safety nets provided to the prince instead

it’s lead us to question
Methods of distribution sympathetic to tribulations
Endured.
Solutions ignored
For the poor because a single mother with a phone
Doesn’t deserve to be thrown a ******* bone
Apparently

All hail the welfare queen
Who hasn’t seen a day without the banks banner bearers walking tall
All over legislated brick walls enveloping more then all of her vision of a road to prosperity

Make it clear to me how she’s quote "taking advantage" of the land of the free while I see that you fail to ask us
How behind a mask of nobility a trillion dollar company still doesn’t pay its ******* taxes.
Ilya Krivonosov Mar 2019
Fool, how late did you understand!
As little you just managed!
As all deceptive I mentioned,
And all that is holy failed.

The delight of lying dead load,
Of oppression is not raised.
Having seen a lot of art
Alive from the ashes not rose.

From the stale chaff of grain
You separate, alas, could not.
You confused white with black.,
The folly and vice.

Live. Seek in verses the medicine.
I'm looking for a reagent.
From reagents I build the kingdom.
The kingdom wanders positive.

I'd live in little stables.
I'd eat a little oatmeal.
I would be wild and unnecessary,
But the world is ruled by symbiosis.
m May 2018
Context and trust go hand in hand. If I tell you some stout men walked out of a bar, you'll understand that they're probably drunk. If I tell you they then walked into your house, you will be concerned, and then stop reading, or at least stop believing the things I say. And, understandably, you will be disillusioned with my tricks when I begin a story with an unexplained pronoun. But the fact of the matter is: the spaces between my words will not be a silence you abide. People have a tendency to fill in the gaps.

She held out one hand, her left, cupped firmly, fingers together, bound and tense. A tiny, prickly-cold ball of teal sparks bounced up and down, remarkably slowly, lying about gravity. She could feel each orphaned spark dissipate coolly on her skin. With her right, she squished the man's fingers together, then curled her hand around his, forcing it into the tight shape of her left. Curious townsfolk pointed excitedly at the hopping magic in her hand as they passed, walking from booth to booth.

It had been six years since Maria had felt so anxious, and even back then it was only half. She knew it would come today, in great waves. Rhythms of merry-making divided by chasms of trepidation, legato, slow-moving and dreadful. Her spine hurt, as though she had spent the previous day lifting boxes of reagents for her show at the end of the Midsummer Festival. Well, she had, but she knew how to lift; she was a responsible person, and knew proper form. Rather, her muscles were tight with nerves. She worried she might remember. With today's celebration all around her, the past was so near.

"Make sure you hold tense, all the way up through your wrist. If you give this unruly stuff any chance to hurt you, it will." She demonstrated, moving her left hand around rigid, and the spark-ball followed. She had a stern look on her face. "But it's fun as long as you're safe. Are you ready?"

He nodded. He must've been thirty, but he had clearly never gotten a chance to be a part of the magic before. His awestruck silence gave her a smirk.

She moved her left hand over his tensed right hand, then quickly snatched it back to her side, leaving the spark-ball floating above his slightly quavering fingers like a tablecloth trick. It bounced there, in his hand, just as it had for her. His face was concentrated deeply, brows clambering to touch but blocked by a pudgy wrinkle between. And yet his sense of wonder was somehow still clear, visible in the corners of his eyes, so Maria allowed herself a full-blown smile.

It was context that left that moment bittersweet for Maria. She would get it right this time.

She pulled at the head of her paper belt, a machination that often caught the eye of village children. The belt lapped her just above her hips several times, terminating in an odd box, something between a belt buckle and a mouse trap. As she pulled at the lapped belt, the latch cranked back, and then snapped down, tearing off a piece with a small wooden bead upon it. It was like a reel of button candies turned witch's tool.

Maria concentrated, rubbed her thumb across the wood, and it gave way to another playful sphere of light. She repeated her process, handing out a few more of these to those passersby she could convince herself she had taught to be safe.

One child had found it funny to spread her hand open suddenly just before Maria could give her the spark-ball. Maria glared the sphere into shattering spectacularly, sending sparks everywhere and seeming very dangerous. Of course, she would never have hurt the child, but when the girl ran off to her mother, Maria felt the smugness of the worst sort of teacher.

The horizon had just been kissed by the setting sun when she realized the time. She tried her best to steel herself and walked towards the weathered stage.

As she walked up the stairs and onto the stage, she looked out at the crowd. There was a sense of rurality that she hoped would be welcoming. The hearts of hard work preferred consistency to splendor, and she knew it. But she had worked so hard for this moment.

Behind her, the stage set was covered in trinkets. Ivy and moss draped over the drapery. A few stagehands rustled around behind the brown, musty curtains, occasionally sliding an open tome out into view, or rolling a small cart covered in lit candles out. None of these props were necessary, per se, but she knew her fellow performers had a penchant for the dramatic, so she wanted to impress them when they arrived. If they arrived.

Her back tightened and she could feel all the iron in her chest and arms. She could see shadows, fickle for sight, wisping at the outskirts of the celebration, teeming up from the earth and out from the forest on the outskirts of town. Please, help me, she whispered in her mind, knowing it was just for her own keeping calm. The motion behind the curtain grew quiet, and she knew things were ready. She swallowed.

"Good evening and good eats, my good folk! And what a festival it has been! For all of the wonderful people who were out in booths today, selling delectable treats and delightful trinkets they made themselves, can I get a round of applause?" She paused, and the crowd obeyed. Everyone likes to pat themselves on the back.

"Excellent, excellent," Maria said, nodding, her practiced smile radiant. "You know, before we start I just want to say: it's truly been a pleasure to share experiences with you all these last six years. I know I'm not always out and about at parties and the like, but your hospitality has been a beacon of light for me through a tough time. I want you all to know that. So, another round of applause, for being so amazing!"

She smiled and looked down at her feet for a moment, and as she did, she allowed herself to grit her teeth. She was suddenly chillingly aware of the danger she had gathered for her fellow citizens. This can't go wrong, she repeated in her mind, as she had been for weeks leading up to this day, to this show. She was sweating. She had to trust in her thoroughly proofread calculations, and the goodwill she had accrued with the fae near town in the last few years. Everything had been set up perfectly. It had to be.

And so she was smiling out at the crowd again when she flipped a switch on the dispenser head on her belt. "Now! Allow me to deliver to you all the display of a lifetime! Tonight, feast your eyes, ears, and hearts on the Parade of the Star Witch!" She grabbed the end of her belt and slung her hand out, casting the reel of paper out over the audience, and she left her hand there, gently grazing her thumb over each button as it passed.

She had cleared the first objective perfectly, but she didn't relax.

No fewer than twenty huge spark-***** shot wildly up into the air off the paper, directly overhead of many villagers, leaving wide, bright tails of blues and purples as they went. They hovered in place at the top of their range, blasting out light in unpredictable rhythm. It was loud. Children caught and argued over the used launch paper as it fell.

Maria stepped back with one foot and snapped. The candles on the table behind her roared into irresponsibly and unbelievably tall flames, instantly shifting from orange to varying cool colors. The scents of lavender and anise washed over the performance. The entire standing space of the stage lit up a deep green with the intricate details of a spell circle. She manually triggered the latch on her dispenser head, severing the paper, and snatched one last button into her hand. It was time for the second stage.

She turned and spun gracefully into the center of the circle, her dark sundress taking the light of the stage and the still-hovering spectacle above moodily. She put her hands together, and the wind began to swirl fiercely, and as it grew shadows eked out into the fading sunset, upright and physical, on either side of her. They lashed around rapidly, plentiful and playful, but seemed unguided by the sudden gusts.

She felt a sudden, sharp pain behind her eyes. One of her traps must have triggered backstage. Whoever it was had come too careless, and too late. No one could stop this now, not this time. It was finally going to happen right.

She raised her left hand up into the twilight sky, that last single button rising into the sky to be the biggest sparkler yet, in the shape of a massive star. Everyone would remember who brought them the joy of this night for years.

The shadows suddenly grew rigid, and then hands reached out of each, and the parade began in earnest.

Fae poured out of each shadow-portal in a march, walked off the stage, and continued out, stepping up into the air over the stunned crowd. They wove their own path through the air, finding a beat that affronted in theory but pleased in practice. They were of inconsistent shape and size, not just between individuals, but between moments. It was difficult to pin your eyes on any feature they had, but it was harder still to find them anything but dazzlingly beautiful. If the denizens of the town were impressed by the lightshow, they were rapt now.

Some of the fae reached down and pulled an audience member up to them, dragging them into the march. Those left on the ground blossomed with envy.

Now, at last, Maria relaxed. The props had been enough. Her work had been enough. Her "fellow performers" had accepted her offerings, and tonight the town would fall away from the cruelties of reason and time, and into something delightful, eternal, and fun.

There was -- to describe it as a sudden turn gives the suggestion that this eventuality was not certain. But it was abrupt, as more people were pulled up into the parade. Kissing spread like wildfire across the skywalking troupe. Some townspeople seemed uncomfortable. Some followed suit. But no one ran.

The town had left the world. The people would be swallowed up by the fae, or become them, or both, and the night would soak in revelry ad infinitum.

It was context and trust that always misguided the prey of the Town-Eater Witch.

A crackle before her, a gemstone green and deep, borne of Oberon. She collected her payment with a hand still shaky with adrenaline, and then she was the wind, and then she was gone. But the sparks remained.
Mateuš Conrad May 2018
/however democratic, still the despotism of time, with void came thought; with writing, a sense of relief: penny-sweet lottery, of an android abstract, when presenting man's nuance, of formerly stated examples of, adventure, surmised by... countering the stealth infringement of insomnia, the death / 5pm of dreams; and the reiteration of claustrophobia, within the confines of cognition, prefix, (ergo) summation, suffix... the egg is both a chicken and a per se without an ergonomic transition parallel of stated question...

can't cure people of an
apathetic "utopia":
in the hands of however
many rhymes,
and anarchists,
would be "communists"
from Birmingham...

once upon a time
the allure of the Reagents Park
mosque, now the reality
of ginger ***** in a flurry
on a face...

      and some gestapo
lark song of "freedom"...
Soviet balet on t.v.,
     as entertaining as
  the capitalistic momentum
known as a woman hybrid,
lodged into frame,
  as a camel overladden
with silken leeches and some other
lesser opioid dreamers:
mine?

crawling with a toddler,
kissing it's tender head like
slurping down an oyster,
a mother... and a suitcase brimming
with ***** bottles...
the sad part of the tale is:
what doesn't allow itself
to die, but remains remnant
in the mundane everyday...
or how ghosts are pickled
and later spawned into
chewing sand...

   ******* preposterous,
this antithesis of gravity,
extending in a culmination
of a giraffe or an ostrich neck
imitating a ladder,
and three magical beans
falling to craft root,
   before the yawn of an ogre
making stance:
as some word ought to be
written,
          -qua -/- si- sorted,,
   writ as bound, "open"
and "closed":
          thesaurus:
tis no book for young men,
even though the land
has earned status of:
jeans and the awaiting old man
readied for the plough...
          
Shakespeare howled a dying breath,
came hogmanay,
and the populist uprising of
auld lang syne...
             trivial urbanism...
of the former...
    pauper, king and merchant
and... a lesson learned
in order for the same mistake
to be towed along...

local: not outside this song
is an effort to be minded,
even with a name like Mozart...
      of man but of no people
such excavations of a blank variant
to make gimmick out of pause...

   rhyme exhausts
the "greater" deed, to a "lesser" fathom
bound...
     not my eye upon the people
dwelled;
            perhaps a shame,
        or i, akin to spider by webbing
towed a signature...
     suffocating moth,
     by miracle a perfumed cotton...

if only pop appealing...
            inverting their own:
               slack of sight...
                but not when sharing
path, her cycle and my feet,
having to make way
for her thinning,
  would make, entourage of
an 18th century perfumed wig:
  
pleb among plebs:
my gold a thought,
their gold,
                your: tirade.

— The End —