In The Universe's Palm Lays A Rose,
With An Inviting Door Closed,
Black On White,
Dark To Light,
Words Slipped Through The Fence,
Penetrating Resistance,
Like A Grape Vine,
Forces Lost And New Ones Combined,
An Eagle Holds My Hand Through The Pain,
Warms Me With Wings In The Freezing Rain,
Kisses The Crown Of My Cranium,
Tells Me It'll Be Okay,
His Words Verbatim,
Then Flies Away,
Forges A Path Leading Me Past The Flames,
A Silly Game Played,
Millions Of Mirrors Showing My Reflection,
Oh The Curse Of Visual Preception,
Green Eyes A Watery Mess,
The Labored Heaving Of My Chest,
My Soul Speeding Past Life's Stop Sign,
My Heart Broken But Rebind,
Maybe The Meaning Of Life Would Be Clearer,
If My Vision Was Not Blurred With Endless Tears,
Red Nails Aren't Even Painted,
My Meals Poisioned And Tainted,
Smiling To Myself,
Everyone Jarred And Set On The Top Shelf,
My Gardian Eagle,
Sits By Me So Regal,
My Celestial Hero,
Blocking Every Arrow,
Which Try's To Knock Those Shelves Down,
Who Try's To Make Me Frown,
He Will Never Let Me,
Lose My Crown

I often found you more addictive when i was poisioned from loneliness..

Letter to my parents who for some odd reason feel the need to micro-manage my life and treat me like a villian:

First off, *******. All you do is act holy and like you are better than me. You act like you never made any mistakes, and ohhh yes you did ones waaay worse than mine. You're gonna tell me I cant see my friends or watch tv because I smoked. Well what about you? You've told me some pretty crazy stories about your teenage days getting ****** and drunk and skipping class and ******* off. At least I go to school, at least I go to school and do my work and don't get ****** before class. At least I'm ******* responsible. Oh and I've been grounded from the internet for over a year for dating a ****** bag and being "Inappropriate" with him. Remind me about your pregnancy at what? 14? 15? HAHA at least I'm still a ******* ******. I'm rude?I'M RUDE?!?!?! SAYS THE ***** WHO STILL CALLS BLACK PEOPLE ******* AND GAY PEOPLE *******, SAYS THE ***** WHO CALLS HER STEPKID CRAZY AND SAYS ONLY HER AD WOULD CARE IF SHE WERE POISIONED, SAYS THE ***** WHO MAKES SUICIDE AND BULIMIA JOKES LIKE ITS ******* FUNNY!!!! SAYS THE ***** WHO FAT SHAMES PEOPLE AND TALKS **** ABOUT CHILDREN TO ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN!!!! i'M ******* RUDE?!?!?! I'VE NEVER STOOD UP FOR MYSELF AND IM DONE WITH IT!! You have 2 ******* choices, either change and treat me like a human instead of an animal! Or I'm leaving. I'm moving the **** out and taking matters into my own hands. Try to stop me. I'll tell DHS about you pretending to call the cops on my brother and saying he was trying to stab you (He wasnt) all because he came home. I'll tell them about you locking jake out of the house when he had a fever of 112 and he nearly DIED. I'll tell them half of the **** you do and you'll be in prison faster then you can come up with some ******* lie. WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS ILLEGAL. Even if you arent my legal guardian it's still considered neglect and child abuse. So come at me. Either you shape up or I leave because I'm NOT gonna sit here and listen to some random ***** tell me I'm a **** up IM useless IM nothing. I am worth it. I deserve happiness, i deserve to be able to leave my room without having anxiety attacks. I deserve to be able to have a self confidence that doesnt revolve around what you think of me. I want to be happy. And if i keep getting everything taken away for a simple mistake and never being able to live it down, I'll never be happy. Just ******* let me  breath, let me **** up, I promise if oyu stop suffocating me then I'll come to you with my problems, but if you keep suffocating me and making me scared to even ask when dinner is that'll never happen.

The familiar wrenching in my gut when you speak of love
The acidic burns and aches I keep bottled up
Become a flashflood
Rushing through my veins, poisioned lines constricting and forcing my extremities to spasm
You cast your words fruitlessly into the chasm
The indescribable void that lies before us
My hands scraped and bloodied from tearing down the nails that keep your heart boarded up
I can never break through the barrier you have erected
I leave myself vulnerable to your outlashes, you remain overly protected
Sheltered from the reality that is the extension of my love through every action
Every emotion you stockpile and ration
Maintaining a craving in the depths of my essence
For your ill fated presence
You bask in the symphonies that expel from my eyes gazing
Hear the strings and percussions playing
Without every fully repaying
Any emotional debt you may have accumulated over time
Fingers dancing along every line
I have written vast and true as the moon above
Yet I feel the familiar wrenching in my gut when you speak of love...

A poet can ****** you with a single word
..
............ Or cut you in half with a poisioned tongue

Your a shooting star I think
Speeding right between us
And the moon
the sea
Your moving at speeds so incredible
That my mind spins a million turns
Just from the walk of your voice
Your laugh makes me smile
Right here in public
Embarassing the life out of an interstellar being
When you laugh
Your scotch flavored lips
Taste purple or green
Beautiful shining sunlight pours through the car window
Beautiful shining sunlight pours through my mind
This is such a endless moment
One untouched by written word
Not poisioned by a spoken sound
Leaves waving on a tree
Swaying in a gentle song breeze
Listening to the sound of nothing
Hearing all about the meaning of such a  sight
Some things in this world no one can understand
Except the warm touch of a shooting star
Between the moon
Between the sea

The clam in his shell wedged shut.
Receptive to nothing but saline flow.
The flow of hidden tears.
Been building for years.
He shivers and hides in the gloom of the depths of the poisioned mind.
The clam locked up in his unthinking mind.
What does he find.
Nothing and nobody cares!

Dear sharp mind of mine
you've returned for revenge
cause ive poisioned you
with every drag of pride ive ever shown.

do not run from me,
im faster than you think.
i wont spare you none,
you wont have time for the rehab you seek.

they say you don't get time
to make yourself better,
they say youll be this way forever
but youll never know until you try.
whether your soul remains ashed
or if you can redeem yourself one last time,
youre still the same.

ive rung myself dry
ive ****** the life out of every
good thing ive ever known,
how pleasant.

and when he told you he loved you did it give you hope?
did it make it possible for you to live with regret?
well what a shame, cause now he's dead.
he's hung himself to die.

dear baby,
i never meant for it to be this cruel,
im sorry i gave you my shoulder,
im sorry i saved you.
i guess it was all for the best,
maybe not, look at you now.
my intentions were good, i promise.

its almost impossible to make conversation
with the voices in my head,
they seem so sweet, so complacent
but who am i to judge a person's sanity?
im the last one who deserves that right.

oh, darling, you're such a lovely addition
to these hearts ive hung up around town.
you'll be so admired by the dead.

say goodnight to what youve always known.
its all changed now.
you'll never know.
you'll never know.

Still night,
Interupted through carnage dreams,
Communication cut tight,
Feeding childish curiosity,
Recycled induced fear,
Cringing into safety.
Eyes clamped shut,
The inevitable sight of fright,
Vacant sheets,
Twirling round and round,
Bright shadows illuminate humanistic curves,
Curtsied into the darkness of cover.
Bumps in the night singing
In tune to mythical belief,
Heavy breath heated in echoed conversation,
Being watched,
Sinister eyes teasing pain,
Indefinitely a poisioned child.
Anxiety destroying rationlization,
Room of mystical wonder,
Vacant everlong ,
Silence torn asunder,
Street light orchestra play for her.

"we aren't in love!" she shrills, his mouth open slightly as if to say something closes slowly,
he blinks and she moves swiftly out of the room.
He looks up and inhales sharply,
"if we aren't in love then why did you smile at me at the diner? why did you make me believe that maybe, something in this godforsaken universe pulled both of us together in that ****** breakfast food diner? And when i asked if the seat next to you was taken, why did you say no? We exchanged numbers and eventually went on a real date. I bought you things like a normal boyfriend and you collected them all.
When i first saw you- you were almost electrifying, it's as if my heart finally found its' pulse and it started beating after seeing your wonderful face. How come you kissed me first at the park when it was my family's barbecue, ever since you poisioned me with those lips i can't erase them out of my brain, out of my lips.
I-I don't want this to end, whether it was real or not. It was real to me. Please, darling, don't leave.
But you're gone and it's just the four empty walls and I now.
You and I went to our first concert together and we saw the sunrise but more than that we made love, 5am and in a cheap hotel.
Whether we were just tired and filled with adrenaline, i truly loved you then. We fell asleep after but we made love again as soon as we woke up and we were filled with life after.
I don't know why you had *** with me if you didn't believe what we had was real. Maybe it's because I wasn't your first or last, but darling,
I miss you so.
I love you so,
and what we had was real,
at least to me."
He looks at the door it's slightly ajar
hoping she heard, but deep down he knows she's gone