Hang your head in darkest shame.
Allow your hair to blow gently in the wind.
Tighten the binds holding you together.
Step up to the rope.
Look at your sins, they finally pulled up.
Feel the unsteady plank beneath your feet.
***** and bare, your exposed.
Helpless, the rope is around your neck.
Consumed by guilt and shame.
Gasp as everything beneath you falls.
Silence.
Your lifeless body sways peacfully in the wind.
It was comimg, you saw it, this brutal end
No longer can you play this bitter game of pretend.

Follow that burning you feel in your bones. That tingle of pure fire running through your veins
Ignite your soul.
there is so much I would love
to see

These trees
wrap their arms around my blossoming soul; my true home found in the purest laughter of the wind
and the dancing call of the creek

I am you and you are me

                                 we are everything

To be anything. Moment. Living present to recieve our presence. You are only ever here. Now. Embrace the breath found in these rolling forests
our glittering banks
Embrace your breath.

We are freedom. Living simply, living peacfully. We are love. Embrace this moment always.

The sun brushes kisses upon my upraised face
bringing warmth to my soul
opening in delicious appreciation of the wonderful heat that he is.
Everyday. bestowing kisses and asking nothing in return.
What can be more beautiful
then that?

Take this body. Release tension. Breath deep. Breathe to remind. You are anything. Everything. Take your body and live in your truth. Imagine if you did, how free you would be!

My soul is expanding, wide open hugging the earth in all her glory. So diverse, so intricate, so simple. She is everywhere. Fingers of wind running through my hair, salty kisses of the ocean, brushing my toes. The burbling laugh of mountain streams hopping rocks in their journey of release.
There is no search. There is only now, and the enjoyment of the chickadee calling goodmorning to the toes of sun running between the cedar trunks. There is only now. Breath.

I am you and you are me.

                          **we are everything

you know the avatar of vishnu
sitting pretty,
pretty calm,
he sat there, lost his hair,
became a bald & fat idol in china
miles away from nepal...
became an idol with that famous waving cat
(maneki-neko): ola ola... hello to you too.
so the avatar of vishnu is sitting
peacfully pretty,
but this avatar of shiva ain't...
he's on a windowsill... head-banging while
the supposed meditation takes place...
he's on to it, the next vogue of mindfulness
and feminism... he's like: **** it...
let the zeppelins in, london on the fork fried,
give us bacon and other assumptions
of king above all beasts.
but at the bus stop i met four would-be ballerinas,
four lolitas nonetheless,
aiming for a party, went into the shop
were asked for i.d., but the look of them
no more than 15...
smoked my cigarette in the umbrella of
the bus shelter... true to feminism got *****,
'can you buy me some *****?'
i don't care about your lies, you don't
have to lie to me,
'but honest, i have a picture,
i'm over the age of consent! look!'
my moral compass is missing on this matter,
plus you're so petite one of your musketeers
gave you away, flesh that never grew to the bone...
'but please! we're going to a party! we can't
go empty handed!'
o.k.
took the 10 quid note and went in,
they wanted a medium sized bottle,
under 10 quid of ***** and 4 women?
no chance. put the note in my wallet
and bought them a 70cl bottle of *****,
3 quid extra so they could, just, shut, up.
apparently there was no party when i handed
them the confidant compliment of uncle...
you know that bit where nietzshce criticised
socrates for engaging in dialectics to create
a rude society? i think not engaging with dialectics
creates rude societies... where children
are above and most opinionated...
and the elderly are below and exposed to sadism:
as england row row rows the boat for an iceberg
to thus sink.
yes, the four of them, happy enough
to be believed to have discovered the *******
and happy enough to have almost lost it.

Folder: God Consciousness
It seems Im lost again.

Im looking through eyes reflected in the mirror

no windows there.



I called and there was no answer.

I cut deals with cheques I couldnt possibly cash.

a desperate act.



the darkness seems to fill up my hollow like smoke.

the white mist of creativity turned haphasard dust floating in swirls of pretty nothingness.

its not evil or sad.



its hovering close by and I can feel it,

and I wonder what it is that i have done to make it flee me again

I know what it is.



hell, I dont even know why or whats going on.

I asked for a way to go there where it was.

is there no wrong healed by my right?



Sorry is a perfunctory word with a perfunctory action.

Its not enough.

it never was.



-----------------------------



its time to admit and move on,

my precious babe I did you wrong,

go peacfully into the light,

I dont deserve to have you near,

its selfish and horrid as it appears.

spread your soul and bring your wings to flight,

i kiss you good bye,

and love you so,

and hope one day we will make it so right

to meet again in a new light.

you are my biggest regret

I must let go.

go in peace my gentle soul,

I will always love you so.





-------------------------





dear love, who ive died a thousand deaths for,

I give you my word,

but my heart I will guard.

I have no understanding of this strange love.

to not want anything but our souls to touch.

I can not see you in my dreams anymore,

to do so drags my soul into darkness,

we have to pay the price of ultimate love.

I can not find the words,

let them be seen in my eyes,

felt across the ways,

I have a love so true oh how they love me I can never count the ways

the truth of proof is too much to bare.

I can not hurt anyone more with my love if it should be divided in two,

the most deserving of my soul,

has the purity of heart.

and your earthly incarnation is not fit for my soul.

the ache in my heart will ever grow as this love prospers

but I owe it to them to show,

that what we have made is real, in truth and wonderful goodness,

what we have made is a blemish.

a soul contract unsactioned

and it can no longer stand alone under the banner of true love.

I send you my warmth and pray that you will find

another love as pure as gentle as mine.

that has seen you grow, and understand that we are not of the physical kind,

and I can offer you nothing now but good will and a friendship to stand till the end of this time,

and space to heal.





-------------------------------





I hope my soul has heard my call,

I miss it so much more than I took for granted.

if you are there, where can I reach you?

I have cut down every branch but yours

yet still you answer me not.

will I have to prove as I have in the past?

let me come home please

I beg you

to the last

tell me where I must come

so that I may reach you

and show you

you are welcome home?



I miss you most of all.

The sun is rising

the clock is ticking

but you still lay your head like a lamb on a cloud

peacfully

almost as if the. Ti
time  passing. Means  nothing to you

which is ridiculous because you can't  ever be late

but you prove me wrong because right now

you are peaceful

I guess Love is the best feeling in the world.
It makes your tummy have butterflies and it feels like you can peacfully die.
Love is a strong emotion that can mend unfixable hearts.
You just have to find the right one for you.

Hell
Opening
Peacfully
Everynight

i never intend to be sarcastic or bitter--in this arena of self indulgence in thoughts i have always tried to put back my filthy(i call them oftenly) thoughts and just concenterate on piles of work that never make me to sleep peacfully, yet antagonist to this theory , i am relieved, for it prevent putting burden of stress on my super sensitive nerves...


still, without being sarcastic, i hate this suffocated speech i put as a  conversation inside my dwindling head and answer them so confidently, that i go speechless and comatose...


i hate being used as a woman,(although i am a woman , being not of a kind), being used is just the worst feeling ever.


not being able to put it into words, i have always loothed my cowardly act, so many voices smtyms i beseech inside me coz of fear of assault...


i hate to admit my heart goes into long pausatic chaos, in which i dwell even if storm passes away, so strongly it holds that crunches of broken pieces take time to gather back into altered shape.....


feminism and its harrassment at all level , abduction at gross or micro level is totally condemned by my my thought, wat i need is loud voice, an affirmative point of view to make myself believe that there exist a life in me!!!



i need to put back them in randomness, but i know its just anothr thought!!!