It was the winter of 2009,
14 inches of snow had fallen overnight.
It was the most I had seen in years,
since when I was 3 years old living in Kalama.

My siblings and I
as soon as we saw the snow
rushed into our
heavy winter coats
and overall snow pants
with mittens and caps
to cover the gaps.
Then we raced outside
moving like marshmellows
with our golden labrador with us.

Determined.
we laid the first angels of the snow
and created the first snowman of the season.
The snow man didn't have buttons for eyes
or a carrot nose.
He had stones for eyes
and a smile and ears made of granola bars
and peanut butter pinecones for hair.

Our mom named it the birdfeeder snowman.
But our fat old goldfinch labrador ate him
before the birds could ever get to snack.

210,089 views on the internet, you sorta get the picture
as to why there's this need to keep count... esp. given
the video content...
    well... it's not that i live
   in a big brother society,
i can't believe that the concept of
a minority report by philip k. ****
hasn't become mainstream...
   and yes, i have this great distrust of
what was once oath, but now has become
a case of: all things otiose...
concerning Hippocrates...
        people begin to question reality
because: there's no reality beyond touching
a brick, or licking a postage-stamp...
psychiatry is contrary to Hippocrates...
   given that there's this illness
that incorporates the whole world,
and that a god omni-this-that-and-the-other
has created people who seem to want
to establish themselves as: with those
attributes inherent in them...
      all we can say about the god we created
is that: he's unthinkable...
   now come the pronoun assaults...
what if i weren't a man, and merely called
god a she or a gender-neutral it...
        jesus against the slackers...
   i find the second coming that happened
in 1945 with the unearthing of the Egyptian
library so, so so ******* revolting,
that every time i burp up a canape of *****
i only think about swallowing it back down...
   that's how revolting i find the second
coming to be... it happened... hello!
back in 1945... it already happened when
the nag hammadi library was unearthed at
the end of world war ii: "ironically"...
         well, sure: foretell the end of the world
drop an atom bomb on hiroshima and nagasaki...
i still don't see how the professional philosophers
of our age draw the line past the big bang theory
and darwinism and look for "ideas"
or "laws of thought" with a "beginning"
starting from the Greeks... don't know,
it passed me by... i found a new beginning
with the Germans... the so-called titans:
and yes, i: the little man...
    as akin to heidegger: how there is nothing
worth observing and everything must be willed:
the asian maggot-brains would just look
at Everest and not think to climb it...
when thought turns into verb...
you don't see a Vishnu... you see a Shiva...
people can't be trusted with heidegger's concept
of dasein... sure, people need a will,
but when will becomes obliterated
  due to certain nuances that only demand
such a light-stroke of being kept:
you don't get anything profound from
   a physics akin to working from dasein
coordinates (0, 0)...
       well, you do: violence and numbers...
angry ***...
           on an individual basis the dasein doesn't
work... on an individual basis there is no dasein...
it's really about a personal trainer, a newspaper,
a rhetoric manipulator...
   working from heidegger's dasein
   there emerges no concern for a hersein
(a hereness, a being here) -
always that ******* flight toward the stratosphere
of heaven...
         and always that fetish for looking
at the ancient Greek ego like the genital parts
you're about to **** off...
    it's become a case of: i could easily
discard the 20th century advert of what was lived
and return to the late 19th century
   with the genesis of the 21st century:
and i wouldn't even flinch.
   read a book and look at the stillness of it all...
and i did, i then turn onto the internet
and see this ******* pigeon...
   and it really is a pigeon talking really
profound things... i listen to this pigeon from time
to time... and he really is a pigeon:
   paul joseph watson on youtube really
is a pigeon... i hope his neck doesn't break...
a bit like O'Hara's ode to Ginsberg
   and that ref. to adolf deutsche, the composer:
no, not the maniac genocide artist...
   i'm really, only slightly against the concept
of dasein... for me there's no there with me
included... but then again: i might only be
half human when i think it out...
    plus, given the fact that this mass-connectivity
construct exists, i can sorta jump from
one end of the earth to another and feel:
nothing equivalent of sniffing jasmine in Lebanon...
none of the 20th century writers could have
predicted the internet canvas...
  and given that: they're not even out of vogue:
they very much are the vongue:
   but their context, contained within a book
  is dodo.
       so what i find from the concept of dasein:
a need for physics...
******, you ain't moving, i'm not moving!
and as the two tiers of language emerge:
a. noting the langusage sausage as: about to be said
and b. language noted: i can't believe i just thought that up!
funny how bilingualism works...
   deemed by strict authoritarians as worth
the noun schizophrenia... naturally...
   but then shrapnel words do make up the cocktail...
the Greek oν (meaning being) translates into
Polish as merely: he...
    and pronouns can be so much more involved in
kinetics: the pyramid hierarchy of pronoun motivational
tactic: how you can become him... by not listening
to your i... the whole shabang of: me, myself and i...
   let's treat nouns and alzheimer's on a segregational
level... given we have to establish nouns
on a firm basis... so everyone knows what everyone
else it talking about...
    what really ***** the game up to give
pronouns the full categorical impetus for a worth
to change is this (recently unearthed) game
of changing the he to a she...
      not transcendental concerns but transgender
escapes... god is by now unthinkable,
given the prefix omni- there is absolutely no
way to discuss (gender neutral) it... easier said
and done with stephen king's clown...
i swear to oh oh...
    but why is no one catching on why Islam is
so agitated? given the pages were unearthed by
some Egyptian shepherd, and the authority of
the church was bypassed... people started to think
it would be as non-kinetic as donning a pink
scarf when wearing a tuxedo...
       approx. 2000 years, gone, down the drain...
this is what you get when you bypass
established authority, and still keep the said
authority and create this weird quasi-religious
secularism... long gone the church-state divide...
long gone the church... and so too the state...
it really has become a case of money
being akin to water or fire...
  an element, for the most part we can contain it,
but in some cases: it astounds us...
a but like man's second dream contained within
the a.i., sure, pocket-money / wage and we have
ourselves a campfire... inflation and national
expenditures, tax and the likes? well... throw your
marshmellows into that raging forest-fire!
we created the concept of an element in how
we kneel to the dynamic of transcending beyond
the category: animal...
     we drink water so we can rehydrate...
we breathe air so... d'uh...
    we start fires so we can keep warm...
we created money so we can have a plumber
   or an electrician: in order to not have to talk
or eat with the said plumber or electrician...
           i can only see money as i see fire...
but that doesn't mean i equate money with god...
   better still: that word will not disappear or become
devoid... but the fact that the said word is
given the omni prefix: it's become unthinkable to
even begin with entering a narrative or a dialectics
concerning it... but there we were: most of us:
incubating the word, the concept, the whole shabang!
still... i have that pigeon online: paul joseph watson...
   it's really called lazy when you wrote it
and someone else read it and when you reciprocated
something of mutual effort and when you
weren't the really eager speaker and someone else
wasn't but a miser of a listener...
   just the motto of what the Russians call:
keeping it real... and alive, and bothering to read books.
and yes, having settled out differences,
    revised Marxism and did with it as one might
confuse using a hammer to a pencil /
prior to cultural marxisim there was, once upon a time:
an economic premise - we settled our
differences and became whining bull-mawled
ponces that didn't really care to make it to
the zummit (on purpose) of inter-racial marriage...
never mind making dating boring
by de facto disclosure of ourselves in profile:
  tourism really did **** off a sense of adventure
when diving into another person alongside
it being staged in a theatre of uncertainty...
   art is such an autocrat: it wants to make us
believe we can all be artists...
art did that to me: hence i realised i'm merely a drinker;
and sure, i have a riddle for my palette:
     bourbon whiskey is equivalent to rosé wine...
                          (olé emphasis)
scotch whiskey is equivalent to red wine...
  i.e. bitter... for care of a better word -
laphroaig? smoked salmon -
                                       may i say bourbon
really is: ***** liquor? ever time i drink it i get
this nasal infusion of the perfume of
walking into a ******* brothel...
         and all the fine bollocking that is...
but i wanted to avoiding writing this digression and
go back to heidegger and dasein and how
  that german ****** is merely prescribing kinetics...
movement... how being = doing...
             or something like that...
     oh right! the whole: pronouns are the sole
motivational tools in how they behave to make me
'''jealous'' of him having attained his achievements
could make me move toward attaing his stasus
   (italics and ditto marks are the knife and fork
of existentialism) / emphasis and ambiguity respectively...
   but i mean that as " " denotes being passed-on
(or that's how existentialists took to it...
that it was akin to a hereditary concern with
a beginning, and therefore a chinese-whisper
that became mutated across the years -
in a shorter version, any word with the " " membrane    
could also be encapsulated by, e.g. ~red, i.e.
crimson).
aren't we living in times when the mathematical
sprechen is having due ******* with
linguistic sprechen, just like the pronoun debate
akin to an igloo in Hawaii, only because we all gained
access to this digital canvas? where else if
not in the anglophone world would you actually
experience a feast of acronyms?
   n00b... i thought that meant: ****... apparently
it just means colt... or beginner...
   of l8er...           this leads me to only
one conclusion... when the Greeks started to dress up
their language with very complex diacritical
marks (even though they really didn't have to):
English / pseudo-Latin was asleep...
            and it's still sleeping...
            this acronym safe-haven is getting ulgier
and uglier... i feel like i'm 70
even though i'm 30... well... at least i can tune
into the pigeon online and pass the time.

Nervous butterflies
emerging from a chrysalis
of chrysanthemum wings of doves.
Flying towards burgeoning horizons
fluttering erudite on solar winds
lost amongst deranged proximities
bounded by blackened skies
Escaping realisation
subterranean rainbows flicker in prismic identities
diverging depleting
diminishing deconstruction into distinctive dominions
waning light that merges into surroundings
(bound together by the unfortunicity of birth)
[aren't all?]
Falling since conception
“all things are a part
all things are apart”
Loud
crimson daylight
excess is the prerogative of the crystalline
...
time
distances
people
such a petty quality

one feels more distance
by degrees
the closer the surroundings.
(and when I say dancing, I mean jumping through galaxies)
[oh good, I am better at the latter]
(it's like tumbling,)
[was all there ever was]

[a can? Or a cylindrical box of tin?]
…
…
…
[but I digress.]
(My my my
Don't touch the apple pie)
[if you do I will cry
antelope bones down a chalkboard.]
(what?)
[Screaming “sirens, sirens
Sleeping alarm bells
show me madness,
I am cluttered”]
there are no gods
only pillars of marshmallow
transforming, caressing
endlessly

-oliver and jonte

A chocolate bar and milk
Hot coco and marshmellows
White chocolate and Dove Silk milk chocolate
Burnt trees and fresh snow
Me and my friend Zo
Black and white
White and black

This bathroom vs. that one
The front of the bus vs. the back
This school vs. that one
My house vs. that shack
Black and white
White and black

Now you mix chocolate and vanilla together
To make chocolate-vanilla swirl pudding
Like people, you try to mix it up
But in the end, there is silent discrimination
A clear line between Black and White
You can still see the chocolate mixed in with the vanilla
Just like chocolate-vanilla swirl pudding

we start out in the middle of a spider's web, where doors surround us that lead
to grassy roads and rocky roads, difficult to maneuver through, but i've walked
on burning coals and left my fingers bleeding from scratching at your door like
a dog abandoned in the winter frost, because i felt more secure with the honors
of you destroying my house built out of marshmellows and toothpicks, and i
don't want you half empty or half full, i want you coloring inside and outside
the lines overflowing the spaces of my heart you occupied and called home,
but i'm responsible for raining on your parade and shattering your soul, but
even i know all these ways of binding you to myself with glue, duct tape, stitches,
gum, staples, paperclips, knots, can't keep under wraps for long, so i will let my
clouds swell with compassion you couldn't understand because you're the flashlight
in my haunted forest, shining a light on any ghosts that seem damaging to myself
because you've always been there to guide me back home and keep me from falling
from grace headfirst, but mother nature decides what sickening plot twist will destroy
us, and you know i can't control the disgusting weather but i wish i could.

- kra

her kitchenette
smelled like lust
and strawberries
and sweat

her hair
smelled like trust
and coconuts
and summer air

her hands
looked like daisies
and beaches
and starfish in the sand

her lips
tasted like red wine
and marshmellows
and secrets, slowly slipped

her eyes
looked like diamonds
and oceans
and wide open skies

her love
felt like pennies
and apples
and a beautiful white dove

Doe Eyes.
Oh, how I fear doe eyes!
Those **** azure, chameleon, black, coffee
Doe Eyes Doe Eyes Doe Eyes
Duh Eyes.

Shatter my centre
Realize your lies
The girl with doe eyes

Soft marshmellows
Cups of cream
Pink little miss
It's a hit they'll never miss.

OH, doe eyes, doe eyes, why?

Punishments of all
A dark mantle we revel

I fear the innocent
Untouched

Paper napkins
Easily crushed
Blood on velvet
Blood on cream
Ganache.
Tortured ****.

Edinburgh/London/New York/Vancouver await me.

Does it count as hot chocolate
if its only lukewarm?
If it tastes like bitter raw garlic,
or acid rain?

It burned the skin off your tongue
and dulled your taste buds…

…And still on fire are your fantastical day dreams
inspired by watching those wandering clouds that,
as it turns out, were actually marshmellows
floating, not in a never ending sky,
but in a bounded, off-white mug
with a cracked handle
whose pieces were sloppily super-glued
back together.

When I was very young, I started to develop an eating disorder.

I was a toddler. My parent's first child and I went mental when they tried to serve me vegetables.

I would discard them in the radiator and sooner than later a technician was called.

And my parent's were appalled when they realized the reason was that their child refused to eat what she was served.

This continued into early childhood.

I lived with my grandmother who I've called Grandy forever.

She made the same three dishes every week. Macaroni Pie, Rice, or Potatoes.

On the odd occasion,  I would get pizza or pasta.

Macaroni and Cheese, or something else that pleased my taste buds.

I quickly tired of this pattern and a disgust for these meals arose.

I could no longer eat them without wanting to *****.

When I was no older that four years old, my parents tried to feed me a few days or a week old alphageti. That was the first time I ever gaged on a meal.

But those moments came more often than I would like as I grew.

I filled up on chocolates and candy, slices of pepperoni so I wouldn't have to eat the **** I din't like.

This distaste of my Grandy's food turned into a fear of food itself.

I couldn't be experimental, I hated having to eat.

I wished I could just take a pill and defeat the hunger that haunted me.

For years I became anorexic. And not because I wanted too, but because for all that time food was my enemy.

When I was in daycare, I hated sweets of any kind and had never had a sip of soda. But once night when my parents were late to pick me up.

All Dee had was marshmellows and seven up.

I hated the sweet treats that would burn my teeth and the soda that would burn my tongue.

But I was young and no one cared.

I didn't allow myself to eat for several years until I ended up falling in love with a girl who cares.

But some nights when I am drunk and to lazy too cook,

I find myself in the kitchen eating an uncooked hot dog,  

and I remember where it all came from.

I still hate sweets and soda to this day.

But at least now,

I eat.

Hot dogs are know to eat apple sauce when uninvited apostrophies invade their canoes. The barking can be heard for centuries

Several flying arbitrary algebra sharks scrape the bleeding jelly fish from the skies leaving only dead eyes and caramel drops

This obviously leads to omnipotent marshmellows adorning the french quarter in sandwich bages

Untied shoes always lead to this sort of indulgance.  You know what i mean?

So in closing

Rewire your scathing antibodies before the devil unleashes his pink flamingos

Corn flakes won't be on sale forever

the kisses she blesses me with are like kissing marshmellows

Many years from now
I'll remember you
as 'the girl I once loved'

and wonder if you
remember me
that same way.

Because you did love me,
didn't you?

And I should have guessed
from the notes you left
in my locker,

from the hot chocolate
with tiny marshmellows,

from your voice on the
other side of the telephone.

But ours was never meant to be
more than the tragic story
of two people who love each other
all their lives and never realise.

And many years from now,
if you'd tell me
you loved me,
I'd say I never knew

and you would tell me the same.


But many years from now,
I'll wonder
if we were meant to end
this way.

1.

i thought about seeing her in a private environment
like sitting in her room by herself on her knees
surrounded by her own messes
and scanning the internet for something to spend her time on.
do you ever picture yourself
on the outside looking in?
Does it make you feel like jumping up,
and immediately pick up a ***** coffee mug
and a bag of marshmellows to take to the kitchen.
Does it almost make you stand up
and change your clothes
like your best friend
(your only friend)
is coming over?
Does it sink in that sometimes you just don’t belong
and that friend never comes over
or messages you
or invites you out to eat.
Why do your friendships last as long as a boquet of peachy roses?
Suddenly you see yourself: walking over to the glass flower vase
for fresh water when you know it’s too late.

2.

he used to look at me like he was eager
to have a word or more.
he says, he says,
that this union is forever babe.
something makes me feel that
truth but loving is really hard
when we flirt with mythical creatures
and **** **** to numb the reality
that loving you is never enough.

3.
your breaking my heart, your breaking my heart
this is harder than anything i feared.
you listen to the playlist of your high school years
because something makes it hard to breathe.
folded knees, somebody please, save me from the mess I made.
it's the same old story, just different lines
and i'm tired of playing the same role.
isn't someone listening? I can hardly breathe on this black stage
am I supposed to pretend
that this isn't real?
That after this, we could just go home and be together?
You're falling apart, you're falling apart
every ounce of energy wants to cry out loud
but instead of tears, hot salty forums of unhappiness,
your turn the music up
to drown out the loneliness
and boredom.

Thank you air for being there.
Thank you water for wetting things and drinking down the dryness that comes in waves when climate misbehaves.
Thank you fire for melting the marshmellows and heating my back.
Thank you earth for giving me onions and potatoes and carrots and beets and mushrooms and basketball players like Shaq.
Thank you God for the love in my heart.
Thank you Mom for kissing my ear, and
Thank you air for being there.

haloween
we never celebrated
haloween
though day today
existing..

haloween
the monsters and
what
in the world..

or from a dark
middle
on the edge
haloween

not defect
show me your
rabbit..
a rat..

a boy in a mask
meets without
skull shining
haloween!

listening
trick a treat
with glowing
knowing
thin..

haloween
where there may
have been
there was none

it is
haloween
no real
feeling..

what given to
that singular
expression
empathy..

more of a crazed
rapture
what a saliva
dribbling

haloween
i do like tapping
he said..
and rabbits..

dracula
fire
marshmellows
no pumpkins

carved into
cackles
the walk
we never cared

for haloween
day off
no
business as

normal..

Sky so blue, mountains so green
Most beautiful thing I have ever seen
Fields of flowers for miles around
Listening to the silence as the wind blows
Beauty of the earth it shows
Trees so talk, smell of pine in the air
I sit here and relax without a care
Natures beauty I enjoy
I pick up a stick and throw it like a toy
Fire burns in the night sky
Pretty glow of orange to warm us
Toasting marshmellows a yummy treat
Under the night sky this can't be beat
Coyotes howl in the night
Animals roam under the safety of night
Beautiful deer don't want to fight
I sleep under the night sky
Close my eyes and let out a sigh
Crickets chirping what a beautiful sound
Sweet thoughts I dream as I lay on the ground
Nature is such a beautiful thing to see