you don't understand how long some people have been here
you don't understand the changes we've seen
you don't understand how much we've longed for the people to
be who they be
you don't understand how it breaks our hearts
to see such infighting
bought to our world from other pages
used to back biting
you don't understand, for us
that have believed from the start
that Hello Poetry was once a place
where we always laid our heart
we gave over our life to this place
we endured every change
when you see something different here
know we have suffered more than this strange
once upon a time
in an awesome time and place
when people googled
Poetry
they found this space
they found inspiration
they found laughter that never ends
they found confidantes and a place
to plant
a never ending garden of friends
So if you're from another site
drawn here by the skin of tooth
sit a while in our midnight garden
and I'll speak to you a truth

Hello Poetry has been my best friend
for over 5 years, and all the friends
I've found on here, they've danced beneath my laugh, and held onto me so tight
that if I ever fall so wrong, they'll make
it all right

And that's the saddest thing
about Hello Poetry today...
is that most don't try
to make true friends
really real friends
or interact with them
in any meaningful way

The gist of it being that I missed most of it, seeing that I wasn't there, do I care?
well
maybe I did but the bankers outbid me and now who can free me from this?

A kiss once or twice would be nice, but it wouldn't be fair, how could I let her share in what I don't care for
why should I put that in the mix?

If I could fix what was wrong and say so long to being broken, to being woken, tormented of mind,
I'd be inclined to sober more often than not,
I'd be happier with what I have got.

I may walk away, talk away to myself
I might fight with the demons inside
but it's true what they say,
you can run but can't hide
so I may as well stay
and to hell
with what
anyone thinks.

There's nothing to see but abandon
Humans had nests everywhere, still away they flew
There's no civilization except evolved bloodlust organisms
Apocalypsing that which we once knew
With nothing on creatures except ruined skin and spores
Plant-infested creatures and beings - the outbreak was too quick and too new
There's no chance of survival except one-in-a-million
Too many victims from when everything overgrew
There's no way to shelter but running
From the terrible undead truth
There's no way to defend but attack
It's what everyone now has to do
There's no way to cope with the knowledge
When you finally figure out the clue
There's no way to fight once you finally know
What exactly you're fighting through
There's no way to stay in order
All survivors desiring 'He overthrew'
There's no warning when they make their strike
Distracted by your infighting, they bit with the venom of yew
There's no hope when the infection spreads further
Into the ranks of your few
There's no more love from a friendship of years
When from her mouth, poison and blood start to spew
There's nowhere to escape when they come again
The most intelligent of them have come for you
There's no way to survive but sacrifice
Let them throw your bones in their stew
There's no way to live but die
This way, you will be born anew

Death tolls increase and                                                                                           Gravediggers are wanted                                                                                         Simply because those ugly wars                                                                             Sweep and reap more innocent souls                                                                      Here and there ...                                                                                                      Life is getting worse and worse                                                                               Simply because man kills man                                                                               Anywhere and everywhere ...                                                                                  More graves are needed everyday                                                                           For those new dead people ...                                                                              Wars or infighting never stop                                                                            Here and there                                                                                                      For many reasons ...                                                                                            All corpses are still in the streets and                                                                  Inside those destroyed buildings                                                                         Here and there ..............                                                                                       Life is unbearable and ugly                                                                                 For many reasons ....                                                                                            There are no more gravediggers                                                                         Simply because everyone died ...                                                                        That's our world now ...                                                                                       Where are we ?!                                                                                                   _____________________

We live in a wonderful world ,but                                                                              It is tiny and may be less than any                                                                             Grain of sand or a grain of salt anytime ...                                                                 Although our world is very tiny ,but                                                                            It is problematic in every item that is                                                                           Available in it anywhere and everywhere ...                                                               That universe that surrounds us witnesses                                                                 That we are merely in a very tiny world ...                                                                   There is a big mess in this tiny world in                                                                      Which we are living and in which we are                                                                  Residing for good or for bad anytime ....                                                                  Wars , infighting , hunger, starvation,and                                                             Many other things that go on everyday ...                                                            We don't know if we are going in the right                                                           Directions or we are the wrong ways anytime !                                                   _____________________

Critical mass approaching in stoical exploding of feelings peeling off with the old flesh.

I'll cry myself to sleep if not just to keep the memory alive, thriving in the spite of a dual life fighting itself for its rites to righteousness, where the opposition is also right, in purifying infighting, for a light so bright, that my fragile eyes shall burn in its embrace, a sound of truth so profound, that my ears numb in the pound of drums as i look on blindly and deaf, pointing at the cliffs you want so much.

We might be unsightly
Inside but we're mighty

We may be in pain but we
Paint scenes with writings

We're paving the way
Through these days that are frightening

We're likening the race
to a game of infighting

Those like me are seen as they seem

Though one season we're nice
And others we're mean
Our cyclical minds are
Insightful with dreams
But disdainful of those
Who keep plotting their schemes

At times we're suspicious
When we shouldn't be
unjustly cry "witches"!
And dispense sentencing

We must temper our tempers
And our pent up paranoia
Instead of the judgement we spread
Let's Spread Love

It seems there is some infighting
On this site. I know who started
It, and I want him to please stop.

I had a horrible experience on my
Last site due to this sort of
Stuff. I unknowingly helped to
Contribute to this, as I thought
This person the VICTIM. He,
Apparently, is not.

I'm profoundly sorry
I ever got involved.

Sincerely
Catherine

The more I think about it, maybe the world is black & white.
People like to talk about ethical or moral grays. We romanticize the grays. It's in the theater. It's on Hulu. It's in advertising. It's carried in on radio waves. There's no escaping the idea that the purposefully vague person, the all too open mind, is the mind for which we strive.

It's my thought that all this focus on the subjective experience by the collective whole has desynchronized us from our base understanding of "right" and "wrong" as it applies to the entire human experience. Excuse me for saying so, but isn't the wanton use of subjective justice exactly how we've arrived at this point of contention? And it's no accident.

They, as in those in positions of ultimate power, who guard the same systems which govern our rules, guide our perception of reality, and drive our social development patterns, fight to maintain this status quo where we've forgotten the absolute in favor of an abstract, more easily marketable humanity. Marketable, hell, palatable is more like it. The fast and righteous adherence to the exponential goodness of humankind is a hard sell. And what is good? What is goodness? Goodliness?

It's nothing religious, but everything holy about our time on a blessed earth as creatures of no meager consciousness. It's the ability to understand and apply unwavering protection to the weak and destitute, and the wisdom to serve justice upon those who would create and maintain a kingdom of opulence in towers above their impoverished, above their uneducated, above their addicted, above their abused, above their loyal peasantry.

The more I think about it, the more I understand why objectivity has fallen out of fashion. Political parties and the grassroots movements that support their platforms are fighting and infighting within the confines of an obsolete construction. It's up to us. The youth. The movers and shakers.

Those of us who have the mobility, the determination, the means, and the conviction to make goodness work. Those of us able to stand up off the couch and volunteer in the community. The more I think about it, the more I'd rather play Overwatch.

Lying under waves of nightime heat lighting
I sit tight and try to stop my mind's  infighting
They say that a bounce back is helped by relaxing
But I'm three months in it and it's still collapsing
I've got one more week to lighten the relapsing
And I'm so tired of sitting and waiting to see
If I can somehow even fix this bizarre psyche
And as I try and as I fail to sleep
I keep realizing I'm in too deep

Some days I wonder if I'm just a distraction
From the relationship's latest course of action
When I'm not held up as a gifted prodigy
I'm just your problem child, one best left sight unseen
Upon wishing I could make myself weep
I realize again I'm in too deep

i'm having this... Milan Kundera moment...
what other Czech writer do i have in my library?
Miroslav Holub: a truly great poet...
my mother's maiden name is: Batuk...
which is probably Czech...
            often confused by my "fellow" countrymen
as Batóg...
      i'm listening to Heilung's Norupo....
                      i'm writing in English...
      the tongue of commerce and idea-fluidity...
but i'm having this Milan Kundera moment...
       it was at the London Stadium overseeing
the ingress of the crowd for the Monster Jam (monster
truck) event that i overheard the minority tongue
being spoken: by a father to a son...
******... i was almost tempted to say:
miłego spektaklu:
     have a pleasant time seeing the spectacle...
two words vs. seven...
              English is so imperfect...
you only need to hear the natives speak so profoundly
of it to realise... but i can express what i want
in just two words... while the English
have to use seven words to orientate what
they're trying to say: i don't need to orientate
what i'm going to say: i just say it...
hence? the almost complete lack of using
the pronouns in the ****** tongue...
    esp.: the iota: I...
            
            living in a multicultural society:
i'm used to it... i build up with nausea whenever
i return to the "homeland"... when i'm
swallowed up by the crowds of Warsaw...
i'm white among whites...
more so... i'm ethnically this swallowed up
by what's ethnically me...
                           i don't have a problem with race...
i'll **** anything than moves...
i prefer Romanian girls, i prefer Turkish girls...
i'd love to **** a proper Celtic ginger, though,
but they're sort of taboo in their own eyes...

point being... that *******...
it's the closest i've ever come to rekindling memories
of childhood...
it truly felt like rekindling memories
of my childhood... back in Poland...
at the twilight of the dead-end closure of
the experiment of Communism...
perhaps in the West the Germanic peoples thought
the Slavs were stupid enough to invest
their efforts in Communism...
sure... we tried it... it failed...
    since the West wasn't ravaged by either
Ottoman Turk or Mongol invasions...
this buffer zone of the continent wanted to try
something different...
              
while neutral countries like Sweden were given
American handouts after the second world war...
Poland was given a handout...
first came the Nazis... then came the Communists...
super!
          
the *******...
   one knew i was favouring the other...
*** has transformed me...
   transactional-clarity *** has...
                   i don't date...
hmm...
           i'm always turned off when someone's
talking during ***...
   alea iacta est...
                         ******* of stating the obvious:
two girls? you must feel like a king...
30 minutes later i was the same pauper poet...
but the other one knew my intentions...
she tried to avoid giving me her lips...
she gave me her cheeks... her jaw...
her collarbone... her ears... her hair...
and... her hand-job... well lubricated...

                   her eyes... her tenderness... and her eyes
that knew everything... that a massive storm
reigns on Jupiter with that eternal whirlwind
of the Eye... and she told me that without me even
needing to invent a telescope...
by simply looking at me with what became
a mutual consent and contentment of a longing...
like magnets ++
         repelled yet at the same time spontaneously
flipping into a +- dynamic...

how do i know this?
  the boisterous one... the one with duck lips...
the one that insisted on having the *******...
she was all too ready to earn the money...
her ******* did come into good use...
makeshift ******... i must have *******
right up to her chin since she retorted with
an awkward surprise... took a shower...
insisted i take a shower too...
    but the girl that was giving me a hand-job... didn't...

after i climbed out of the shower and started
dressing myself in my work clothes...
buttoning my shirt up and putting on my tie...
the loud duck-lip fake-lady of the night
was already too eager to tell me goodbye...
    but the girl i truly wanted was standing behind
me... before me: a mirror and myself...
she behind me... massaging my shoulders
and back...

                  you learn to shut up for long enough...
you learn to read eyes...
   oh those eyes...

and that memory of mine...
didn't i conjure up the idea that Darwinism is
a geocentric model... the antithesis of the Copernican
heliocentric model? does it really matter?

i can't say that memory is a fickle creature:
sure... it's eroded by education 1 + 1 = 2 etc.
but... even if my first memories are of being 4...
i do remember sitting on a stump of a tree
eating candyfloss... contemplating
the idea of: inseminating a ***** with human
*****... and the reverse... inseminating a woman
with dog *****...

    that's all before being revealed / made aware
of Mary Shelley's idea of Frankenstein...

race-mixing... Darwinism... so why is it that
a Gorilla will not breed with a Chimpanzee?
if man is all-powerful and so godly...
why not try this experiment?
       what man did with dogs... surely man
can attempt with primates...
breed Gorilla males with Chimpanzee females,
no?
        well... if it took us so long to
adapt geographically to our environment
whether via Africa or Scandinavia...
the levelling of copper-neck pseudo-north-African
throughout...
let's mix the primates...
like we mixed the canines...
       let us create some new hybrids!

i'd love to see what a mix of Gorilla and Chimpanzee
looks like...
but why is it that they do not mix inherently?
what?!
             personally i love seeing a black boy
in a romance with a black girl...
it's my new found fetish...
          as is my fetish for seeing...
perhaps: the ***** of a horse invested into
the reproductive parallel of a cow...

how else were donkeys conjured?
                    hey! hey!
                 why stop on creating dogs with
smashed snouts and breathing problems?!
seems rather cruel to not explore further...
after all... Darwinism is a geocentric model...
i don't need to explore the heliocentric
model any further... the moon has been conquered...
let's be brave!
           let's become children again!

we're mixing races... let's attempt to breed
giraffes with elephants!
          who said no?!
              how were pigs brought into existence?
a boar was given access **** to...
exactly?! what was furless and resembling
the boar?
         and the Sphynx cat?!
                        
once the theory of evolution emerged... people...
have become very... very much:
reserved... we could be creating so many new
breeds of life...
instead of simply falling back on interracial
"affairs"... that's the lazy option... copper-neck
plateaus... we'll all be quasi-Arabs one generation
then the racial diluting will overtake "our"
luvvy-dubby prejudices of "modern times"...
modern my ***...

             and i am a hypocrite in my line of argument:
which gives me "privilege" in "arguing"
this point... i say: free the reins! let nature reign!
after all, nature abhors vacuum!

natura abhorreo vacuum...

           why stop?! clearly the ancients had some
imagination and a sense of thrills
beyond the safety-nets of base-jumping...
imploding gravity...
        they "invented" the pigs...
no... they just figured... too much hassle hunting
wild boars... let's create something dependent
on us to rear it... let's breed the boar
with something resembling our nakedness...
let's tend to it...

    the Muslim antithesis of god the creator of all
things pristine... the sun and the moon
and when the mountain came to Muhammad...
yet? well... not such a pristine god if he also
prohibits ingesting something...
     bad logic... very bad bag of logic...
chances are the biggest tapeworms are to be found
inside marine creatures...
no prohibition of eating *****...
   even though ***** are scavengers...

        i say **** it... let's mix everything together...
let's have a Darwinian festival... a "pride month"
of experimenting with inter-species...
we might conjure up a second donkey...
by breeding bull ***** with a horse's ****...
i'm tired of the sensible pact:

    pax sensibilis of exploring the void... the stars...
we're not moving... to hell we're not moving!
i'm supposed to be the madman
but i'm living among bigger madmen...
i'm fuming at the mouth thinking not thinking
about how unrealistic people are becoming...
so... safe... so cushioned... so... vanilla...

and what happened to the people who tested out
Communism... after...
was it the French Revolution that prompted
the ****** from inbreeding "royalty"?
or was it the Russian revolution that made
the inbreeding ****** reconsider their power dynamic?!

let's face it... the first "world war"?
family infighting... cousin fighting uncle...
just when mother died...

nicknames and funny surnames,
i can take apart Darwin...

dar (gift) win(a) - wine / guilt...
gift of wine...
           troublesome the win(a)...
i.e. morphes into: dar winy (gift of guilt)
whereas dar wina (gift of wine)...
                      hey... tongue of playgrounds...
i'm still refreshed by a game we played
as children: hide & seek...
i'm still hiding myself from myself
and seeking myself into / within myself...
it's some ancient game some of us lucky ones
were still "promised" to be allowed to play...

unisex... boys and girls...
                not this current pseudo-Germanic
in vitro anaesthesia dynamic...
  it's sick mannequin *****-donning condoms
on your head superstition of above-average
superiority...
                            some ******* calamity of moral
agendas... of course i'm fury! of course i'm
havoc!
               why do you think the Russians
attacked the Ukrainians?! why the Polacks
allowed over a million of war-refugees into their land?!
eh?! ethnic-implosion...
  
   i might write in English... but... i'm not English...
no ******* migrant crisis from either Africa or
the Middle East is going to bother the Slavic people...
i once joked with my mother:
Polacks have this aversion to spices...
bay leaf... yep, sure sure... all-spice... yep yep, sure...
paprika... smoked paprika for the Hungarians...
horseradish... rosemary, thyme... parsley...
     dill...

listen! it's Darwinism in action! why be averted by
what's supposedly common knowledge?!
not everyone can be as post-colonial cucked
as the English bourgeoisie...
              who's kids fancy a neo-Communism...
when the old Communism: defeated...
was... pretty much a Pan-Slavic movement...
right... the bright-younglings of England and former
colonies are going to usurp a system that
breeds beached-whale-beauties...
          
   never mind that Communism was first experimented
with in Mongolia...
a sort of: thank you... for Genghis Khan genes...
me neither... i couldn't strap myself
to a single woman...
               i couldn't... i need to be vague when i ****...
elusive... not even there...
i need to love as many women in a pardon
for sometimes hating myself...

ha ha...
      what crisis?!
   where?! self-defence mechanisms kicking in...
are we truly all loved up with each other?
and what African nation ever conquered anything
outside of Africa for the "race" to be dubbed
the Orcs?!
              honestly? i've love to be a minority
living in Kenya... maybe i might be chosen
for a television advert... advertising... soap...
or... cheese...
                            
                        clearly i love the war inside my head...
it will pass as soon as i stop typing this...
i need to water the flowers in the garden...
very Voltaire of me...

                      sometimes a subject that claims the authority
over the world comes into my vicinity & consciousness...
whether by force or by authority...
or by passively lingering...
                      and i acknowledge it...
but... at the same time... this world has no
authority to claim the sanctity of my little makeshift
monastery of solitude and heightened
hypocrisy of eroticism...

   it's not longer enough to be simply "right":
or, "moral"...
               times are changing... it's no longer to
be the super-man... to be the over-man...
to overcome being human...
    times are changing... it's time to be the allesmann...
to be the all-encompassing man...
everything! the good, the ill! to look beyond
good and evil: truthfully!
                       no need to pander to the nunnery...
the fine line between contradicting oneself
and at the same time embracing onself:
conflating good with evil
   rather than making distinctions between the two!

maybe the serpent should have said:
and you will know the difference between good WITH evil
rather than... and you will know the difference
between good AND evil?!              no?!

obviously both sentences are a joke...
good is good
    and evil is evil...
               man left in a limbo of nuances and the bible
of lawyers', rhetoricians', sophists'... i.e. the thesaurus:
man writes laws: all of man's laws are subjective laws...
man uses the thesaurus...
man doesn't write objective laws: man doesn't write
the law of gravity...
man discovers the law of gravity...
man utilises a dictionary; the end.

.                                per usual, a 502 bad gateway hack,
title: /harp/
body: attempt: secure >
               proceed > ?
                                      sometimes more fun than searching for googlewhacks...

two days i can almost handle on the brink...
but three days is enough, enough!
i could stomach the most dire psychotic experiences
back in the day, running around London,
running around Edinburgh,
losing it, completely losing it in my early 20s...
but... not something as ancient as when i was
a teenager... all these butterflies in my stomach
are unbecoming, truly...
the gut-wrenching sensations, the dizzy head...
the lost focus of being all loved up...
don't get me wrong, it's nice to feel so innocent
as one once felt... but it's hardly reasonable,
beside it being utterly unproductive...
making all these insane plans in my head that
my love could be reciprocated...
what, with a single mum and a son?
maybe if she had a daughter... but with a son...
i could father a daughter that isn't mine...
but when it comes to boys: it would be heartbreaking
to say the least, plus i'd be a persona non grata
in his eyes, however spectacular i might be...
because it wouldn't be officiated by a fostering
system being put in place... on the *****-nilly...
and just getting this infatuated like a giddy teenager
in order to merely have *** with her:
is not on the cards... thinking about inviting her over
and cooking her a meal, watching a movie...
i much prefer the cold comforts of a brothel,
with prostitutes... where i rub my fingers on bricks
before going in and touching a human being...
there's a calmness of the heart in that...
there is certainty that i might not have to wake up
one day and feel a heartache...
               don't get me wrong, the past  days have
been revealing...
                i can return to being a teenager...
plus i already said that it would be ****** to get into
a relationship with someone you're working with...
how to best get rid of the butterflies, then?
i started off with doing some stomach crunches...
more press-ups... and extended the route of my cycling...
not as far as i am capable of but at least not *******
around toward Hornchurch and back...
there are already other red flags ahead,
it happened when she started spreading rumours
than some other coworker was saying that i smelled
of ***** on the job, whether it's girl-on-girl infighting
or whether they're already trying to get me fired
i don't know... she's 39 i'm 35 and we're at that stage
in life where we've made our beds...
she might think that i might be a loser still living
with my parents... am i in debt? whatever debt i'm
in (student loan - weird... i am a dual national,
but they took account of my British citizenship prior
to my ****** citizenship at a time when
EU citizens could study for free in Scotland...
so... i'm sort of ******* that i have to... well...
i don't have to pay jack-**** if i don't earn more than
£15,500 a year... which i'm trying not to do...
back in circa 2004... you could live off...
hmm... how much was it... £3,000 per year having
minimised your expenses... o.k. maybe pushing it
up to £5,000 with some luxury) -
life isn't ****... it's just unfair... sometimes...
not always and never ever forever...
                     i'm glad to be on my way to some
"elsewhere"... because if what i'm seeing is a facade...
no wonder i feel loved up...
if i start peeling this onion of a woman i will find
out the true reasons why she's 39 and a single
mother... living with my parents... what?!
i get on with them... we share self-deprecating humour...
and... no ******* way are they're going to
end up in an old person's home...
that must be a western cultural phenomenon...
they'll get old, i'll get old... but i'll be around
to do **** for them...
and when i get to their age when i might need
**** done for me and there's no one around for me...
guess where i'm going... an euthanasia clinic...
**** all that patriarchal / matriarchal loved
up *****... you are better relying on strangers
within professional confines than your own family...
i never expected my grandmother disappointing me
when it came to my grandfather's death...
leaving it last minute when i could have visited him
and comforted him... all ******* hush-hush...
the fact that my uncle was coconspirator in all of this...
well i never thought much of my uncle...
he used to brag about sleeping with women too much...
i do too: sleep with women, but i don't *******
brag about it... it's between me and them...
no... family disappoints... i'm better off with strangers...
i'm just thinking: an euthanasia clinic in Switzerland...
or the Benelux?
   i'd probably love to see some proper mountains
at the end of my life... sure... Scotland has the highlands...
but they're not the Alps...
see... in our yearbook at the end of school
we were all asked to write something we were planning
for our life...
i wrote... i'll either become a priest,
or live a Bohemian lifestyle in some European capital...
well... it's not Paris... i wish it was Paris...
so much for becoming a priest... i'm more of a monk...
a Teuton - that's why i still visit a brothel...
i'm into all the things i ever wanted to be into...
Gnosticism and Qabbalah... philosophy, poetry,
music... in terms of Bohemianism?
well... i'm writing this, i'm drinking and smoking...
i feel like an artist, sometimes a philosopher,
but in general a mad cyclist who takes on
heavy traffic and wishes that more roundabout
around and in London where less safe...
with less cut-up points of directing traffic with
traffic lights... more of the old style of: jerky knee...
i believe Gallows Corner is the last worthwhile
roundabout to get on your bicycle for...
yeah... life's good... not great...
                 eh... love... it's exhausting...
on the stomach... esp. on the whole of the guts...
more stomach crunches tomorrow...
i need to **** these butterflies out, but first i need to
squeeze them and turn them into mush of
watercolours...
as you do, listen to one particular song...
   the verse - lucky man:
    happiness more less...
    happiness coming and going...
    all the love i have is in my mind...
it really has been luck: going mad at the age of 21...
the gods bestowed madness upon me in my early
age so that i could age with it...
learn from it... i can't go mad twice...
i think that, well... imagine going mad when you're
old and demented... out to lunch without
any chance for creating a momentum of creativity?!
imagine... i thank the gods for letting me go
mad so early... it means i can play the architect...
esp. because my focus is such that it's primarily
on language.

Crimson minds
So divine
Tantalizing
Fantasizing about infighting
As we question what exactly drive means
Today is a mistake
Tomorrow will be moronic
Never iconic