i wonder how your disco ball girl would feel about a night like this

all my friends say we aren't in the same scene and i am embarrassed to be seen with you but i love the way you button your shirt and the way you are when your stomach hurts

my feelings are raw meat and hard to chew and i drink a bottle of wine in case i'm left alone with you

ten typos later and i have tears in my tights and stains on my lips
melancholia is a mediocre movie and the truest feeling i can muster

i let a boy in through the back door and forget he was ever there aside from the fact that there is long hair clogging my shower drain and the shower in your parent's house is the smallest space i've ever been in

my friends feel violated by the whistle of a teakettle and i spent the evenings of a man speaking gibberish on top of a washing machine

he was wearing a three piece suit with a piece of wheat in the breast pocket and either he was walt whitman or the end of the summer

what have i got to lose

I have decided I am mad at you.
And it does not even matter.
I do not even care.
Your words have repulsed me like raw onions.
No take backs.
Druken fools.
Druken tools.
Which ones are we?

I see stars while I wait for the lights to turn green.
Drunken thoughts are sober truths,
they say.
Old friends rekindled,
with a fifth of whiskey,
and an old man to look up to.

Am I honerable?
well I'm not sure.
I have morals.
but do I follow them?
Well I'm not sure.

Hey kid,
how are you now.,
that youve grown a bit more.
Seen some more ****.
Can you walk in other shoes.
Now that youve seen through others eyes?

The sun will guide. Ya dont be scared.
You'll find your place.
in this crazy world.
ya dont worry now.
You'll find a bottle
Oh, you'll find your words,
Whats that you say?
Ya,
Imagine if you will.
One thousand, thousand birds,
Flying over head/
each other with a thought from your head.
And Imagine if you will,
You gatta look up,
Pick a bird, so you can say a thought,
But you get a feather, half a word,
it doesnt make sense,
not to you,
No, not to who your talking to.
And
Kid im sorry,
thats the way it is,
for you at least,
Are you sure at least,
that others dont feel like this,
is it just you?
Are you sure,
yea
Son are you sure?
Well i'm seeing stars
waiting for lights to turn green,
I'll find that bottle
so I can chase my dreams.

I ******* love you and I wish I didnt
you only hurt me and I pretend not to see it
not to feel it
but it's the only thing I think of when I see you
you lie to me every time we have our druken nights
telling me you love me
if you love me why hurt me the way you do
are you afraid of commitment
are you really just using me
Why are you spending time with her more than you do with me
please don't leave me
i need you more than I want you

Time crawls
Alcohol flows
What a petty waste
Of shyness
Nothing of nothing
Dreams lost
Bitter sweet
Souls crushed
Under oceans deep
Nothing of nothing
Conversations never spoken
Love without its token
Was she beautiful
Under druken gaze
Or was it nothing of
Nothing

What was when?
Happy now
Whats really in
the now?

What was when and again

and then_
(Sir)prizes
superpowers
Got us how they won
Show me no shortcuts

Life is not a Zen
10
Please don't take
too long
I was better off in my
Play pen
True or false
I felt so touched

When you were sincere
your energy through my
pulse like a love overdose

Now and then
Future When
Do I hear his beat
How you worded me


Through another
dimension
Superbody
language many
French Italians
Stallions Germany
Drinking at the
Dynasty
Spanish
Happy now
I wish what was then
Paella dish perfect ten
Sorceress swordfish win
You knew me
The true me
Now or then or when
Did you really hug me
Dark London Fog

He locked and
She locked
Sherlocked
Christmas
"Everlasting Eggnog"
Scrooge
Humbug
Mistletoe
Bumhug
Ruined me
Newton fig
It wasn't me
Jolly Green big

Superpower
Something took
such a hold
over me

You are so over me

Talking head's
Montezuma
revenge
Gave me the
powerful runs
No time American
Women Pledge
Allegiance

Goddess miracle sun?
Wanted now you better
run
She was then
Pulled in the wrong
direction but when?
Ritual book
Queen Daily- Double
Woobly in a ditch
Druken so Scarlett

So ****** lost
her affection
The good witch now or then
"Red Moon" doomed
The bad witch again
Reminiscing or ritual spell
More room red vampiric
Heartache met my match
Terrific
Blood type smoking
hell pipe
Nothing too hype

Exploring on skype-_??

Egyptian cat nap
Seeing Alien's
swim slap
"The Aquarium
Happy now" evil twin
And then that all depends??

Her water turned to sin
her long
The black cat stretched_
body super catnip

Took over claws and fin
You could see through
her smile
Supertonic sin
All to the end of her
tail map
My head
"Spin Tops"
Mummy planet dearest
The darker the fairest
Viruses she sneezed
Super Devil computer
He is still sitting

He was the last man
standing
I had him superglued
Samantha now she
  sued

I didn't get a chance to see

myself tomorrow
being loved
"Secrets inside you"
But what could you
say
I can't convey
I couldn't look away
Platonic drinking tonic
What was then feature
Another scary seizure
You could feel it in their
gestures

Holy night powerful
Happy now
more hopeless
Tomorow

I was leftover
lifeless
I wasn't getting
older I was happy_+*+*

Corpselike in the now
Ladyfingers matched to
"The Demon"
"Sorceress" killer
season
Hybrids or the
powerful feds

Hospital bodies
elevated in bed
the weaker
(The Seeker)
moonstone
Disembodied

Spiritual awakening_

Otherworldly $ * %
Everyone is numbered
Immortal # 2-4-6-8
Who do we appreciate
Dark tunnel and when
do we get her cake
Italian funnel
In other words all hell
broke the supernatural
ring this was not the time
For  Sing-Sing
And then she was left
Risky business in the back
dead wing

"Then Transcendental"

*******  Valentine
"Red" super now $$$

Like a "Celestial"
Too commercialized
I am happy to know it
And then he claps his hand
So pompous to show it

But felt alienated
So foot cramped
All clamped inside

She is the happy-one
I don't get it
Glorified
Those affairs pursued
got horrified

Egyptian King Tut all
magnified
The other side how
it fire-lit
The left side hip wickedly
justified

Afterlife or after
dinner mint

Did you not see it coming
Her stunts
A hint? You were stunned
And then so?

Rarefied or rare find
Pack of werewolves

Blood through her sleeves
Ethereal so devotional
So consecrated Ego inflated

Terrorized then tranquilizer

shots

Aluminum more allied like a

clad ***
The third eye saw the good
what it got
Being grateful not so
"Penny dreadful"

More formed for now
physical
May his force be with you

So Presidential political
But not you

I miss the sound of crunching leaves, victim to our druken teen feet.
My soul aches for the way you used to look at me.
I miss the way you'd line up with the trees, smile at me and breathe in disease.
Almost as beautiful as the smoke in your lungs. I miss a lot of things, but I'll never miss what we've become.

There will always be a knock
there's always a new stranger to knock
for a conversation
for a glimpse of your brain
for comfort
for a safe place
for reassurance
for a deal
for your heart maybe..?
but not all of them is love sober
some will knock to find what they've lost
for someone like her
for an exchange of fake feelings
for fake druken words
for a touch of lust
for a distraction of their mind with yours
for visions your brain might not have the colors of
for one stroke on your strings, of a song they've played before but is completely new to you.. you might be intrigued, but you shouldn't be
I've been knocked
knocked at
knocked for
knocked out
but I never let just anyone in.. Or do I?
Once upon a new constellation in the sky, in a new side on the moon I've never seen, a new shade of black when staring directly into the sun, that has always been blue and purple..
I walk to the door to knock, and there you were already knocking.. I've been hearing these church bells for a year now, I've been feeling my heartbeat sing along to it, a different knock, a sober knock, a new knock that I couldn't resist opening the door for, hell I opened all the doors and all the windows for, I opened my heart, I kept my mind open, I was completely and utterly open and I sang along.
But I knew it was bad, I felt fear and fear and whole lotta fear, but nothing could stop me because you're here with me and you are singing along, you were singing along..
Where did I go wrong? I keep forgetting people can have a change of heart, they change their mind, everything changes in a short period of time and it makes my lungs so tight and my knees weak.. because it's never my change of heart. It's never me. I don't know what the **** is wrong with me but I know that it's time for me to knock on other doors.. because I am not accepting new visitors
I'm knocking on a door..
for love that I know doesn't exist
for reassurance
for sweet little lies that makes me smile
for the final exam of all the lessons I learned