I'll Believe

When I doubt everything that I do,
Even when I cry don't want to shed a tear for you,
When I'm walking and all I think about is you,
I take a step back just to realise,
I'll believe when I have coloured in my wings,
I'll believe when I finally get something,
That can take away my doubtfulness,
And hopefully repay with some kind of happiness,
I'll believe when I have got my head back in the clouds,
Without having to be so blind,
I'll believe when I have done something,
And I don't ever wanna turn back time,
I need no regrets,
And a little bit of confidence,
To see through your lies,
Without being so hurt,
I just need some time,
Time is a thought of mine..

I'll be good if I can hold your hand,
I'll believe if someone makes a stand,
About how things have gone so ever wrong,
And how they can help us all to hold hands and just be strong,
I'll even believe in god one day,
If he really is the man they say,
The one that cares so much about us,
But never seems to show his face,

I'll believe when the sunrise is beautiful,
And doesn't make me cry,
Because I see the sadness in the sky,
When god is happy I can fly,

Will I ever,
Find the time,
To be just alright,
Will I ever,
Give up on these tears,
Or will they haunt me for all my years,

I'll believe when flowers start to bloom,
And nothing ever gets lost by a boom,
I see, Nothing but death around me,
And suffering and people trying,

That's why I'll only ever believe when I see the change for myself,
When the gods come and help us out,
When theres no more suffering,
And more of that loving,

Oh, whatever happened we was once a peaceful world,
I've lived many lives to say so,
Big birds and beautiful creatures,
That today we all treat like such a shame,
When really there the only thing we have left to say,

I'll believe.

By Larna Kira Kourtis AKA LkSkyFlyRose
Aged 13 & a quarter
~Peace~

By LkSkyFlyRose

© 2014 LkSkyFlyRose (All rights reserved)

The scent of your hair still lingers at my fingertips.

I hadn't felt **** like this yet. Soft caresses and sweet kisses turned bitter by your doubtfulness. Doubtful of yourself initially, eventually landing on my doorstep like an eviction letter. I had to escape. I didn't feel held in your arms. Your touch felt cold as tears fought through stubbornness. Waves of nausea clash below my heart as it desperately tries not to drown. I can't stay.

Now I'm filled with the gaping hole that you today filled and made whole. You leave me cold, dead, exposed, naked. Lay me out on the icy steel table and cut me open for examination. Do you like what you see?

The trail to happiness isn't as close as it seems
To be exact it's 9175 miles away from me
Across the sea
Where the Kangaroos and koala bear sleep
Why does this pursing happiness
Have to be so hard
Why is it so far
I wish for it to be closer on shooting stars
But hope soon fades
With the star as it drag races across the sky
Dipping beneath the horizon
Forever lost in space
But I see shooting stars when I get a glimpse of your face
My heart races
When I hear your voice
For a moment happiness is near
But soon disappears
To be replaced my something we both fear
Doubtfulness
That happiness will ever be real

She's cheerful but turns into tearful.
She's excited but turns into devastated.
She's confident but turns into bewilderment.
She's smiling but turns into alarming.

Today, is the day she's waiting but turns  into nothing.
The preparation turns into destruction.
And the subsequent is doubtfulness.
She ask herself, why did he forgot?
Or he neglect to remember it?

The sadness was evidence in her eyes.
Tears slowly falling into countless time.
She's truly hurt but still hopeful.
That he might have surprise her for their Anniversary.
But, the daylight fades and nothing came.
She's sobbing to death cause the forgotten Anniversary is in her mind all night long.

Staring into darkness
Set on sparing nothing
Poised in calmness
Frantically navigating for something
Preferably powerful
An idea of significance
Something to stupefy doubtfulness

Then it hits you
Significance something you brew
Just by your variable in the equation of the cosmos
Each life is a story to be told
To be leached by the unfortunate that don't possess an ink pumping heart
A story to change a life
A perspective
The world

You are a story
You are significant
So Let them leach;
And allow me to sleep
To be devoured by this darkness in peace.

Doubtfulness lingering around me
Losing sight of what i want to see
Hopelessness feeling my soul
Lost love taking its toll
oh my soul.
All the troubles I heard
If only you'd take my word
That'd I'd never make you cry
and that I'll love u even when i die
please just try.
Let me hold your hand
Lay with u in the sand
Whisper in your ear
Let you know I'll always be near
my darling dear.

An urge to escape, fastened with a belt
Senses of conflict, preparing to melt
Imagine a life concealed as a boy
Thought upon others dancing with joy
Feelings of envy?, questions?, and hopes?
The life of a female ******* in ropes
Cut me some slack, to emerge from this shell
With the strength to stand up, whenever I fell
Forget what they said, they're stuck on rewind
Attempt to look forward, and leave them behind
Letting the sand seep through the glass
Each grain of sand, a day in the past
Setting the scene in dark shades of grey
My very own painting intended this way
Although I did say, that's what I intend
Fine traces of colour mix into the blend
They bleed and descend, like inside a dream
No need to pretend, if you know what I mean?
Unlocking a shutter, to view the next stage
That's just the book cover, before the next page
Was I on the verge of a long waiting game?
As all of the pages were numbered the same
A feeling of doubtfulness hit at close range
And half the way through, I noticed a change
But as I look back, in outbursts of laughter
My worries had vanished into the next chapter
This story I told, is split into two
And it starts with the old, revealing the new
A lesson that change is both patience and time
As every grey cloud has a fine silver line
My last stroke of paint, lets give it a chance?
And it's signed at the bottom
By Claire Torrance

I want it to be so that
I am a dark mass of life
A dark, cataclysmic shroud of flesh
A size bigger than the problems I harbor; but not as big as my regrets.

Oh yes, to be a spiral of catastrophe, absorbing all that is in my path.
swallowing them,
engulfing them
quickly,
but,
quietly,
spitting them out anew,
And whole again.

I sought to be the storm before the calm,
the pouring rain after the thunderclap of liquid-silver-lightning.
To be a wave of confidence and setting myself atop the horizon of other people’s views.

To gradually become a giant,
to be a whirlwind of
...nothing.  

Meanwhile here, I am a cloud;
A cloud of doubtfulness,
Perspiring at the mere second
A weak faulty existence
I am the aftermath
The reconciliation
The ending of what was thought to be the beginning
A mere cloud,
amongst other things

I want it to be so that I float,
otherwise, I am drowning
My humidified scrawny legs are sweeping steel floors,
littered with reflections of redrafted selves.
Reflections that mirror the broken shards of one's psyche
expected to form a whole mirror.
I put my ten toes to the cold steel surface,
while dragging my past selves as we crawl
to where the Dim light is.

yet I do not cast any shadows.

I want it to be so that
I am the lord of the flies, to decompose in a cleanroom.
To assert my existence within these four walls, with my breathe alone shaking the inner workings of my rib cage.
I want to hear the echo of my heartbeat in the throats of others.
To engrave my face into the delicate insides of their skulls, indefinitely.
To be memorable— no,
To be remembered.
Because even then,
Even with the strength of ten worlds
Even with the confidence of an idle king,
Even with the assertion of the Ten Commandments.
I am merely but a figment of my own innovation.

Walking in the city seems to only expose lively souls,
where Dim city lights accentuate dull features,  
but even then—
Even with the Dim and powerful street lamps of the night cowering before my shadow,
It only seems to cast a dark reflection,
Articulated appearances and dialogues vibrate through the reflections cast by those Dim lamps,

And it was in that moment, I was acquainted with,
Someone I have not remembered
but someone I have chosen to forget

Wallontly i glared toward the heavens
Seeking homage with the deities less registered in my recess
Sanity compromised my doubtfulness
As the blue sky and the grinning yellow occulus obscured my quest
"You can't see god"they warned my sight deprived eyes
Discernible kaleidoscopic star performed a victory dance in my cornea
I squinted in surrender

Choreographing my eidetic
Memory wikipidia
I vividly recall being
cautioned about mentioning the name of the gods in vain
Yet here i was
Calling my lungs out
Coughing and spitting profanities
Just trying to catch their attention
I searched with futility for heaven,paradise or even olympus
Whichever residence the gods laughed at my pitiful threats

I called my voice hoarse cursed the moon and swore never to think about the gods
Yet as i lay my tattered flame at night i wondered
Could they have heard me but decided to play hide and seek
Could they have seen me but decided to spare my pathetic human soul
So in dream land is drowned and i dreamt death....

Recently i seen the big game referred to as, "The Promise". A great number of tiny information as well as understandings jumped out and about during me personally i always idea I would reveal a variety of them. From the film, there has not been just one offer built, there initially were lots of. And because the film developed, I noticed there are frequently penalties not to ever preserving an individual's expression. Destruction does not just get lucky and yourself but will also to the people who are loss in the cracked term and also guarantee.

If a person assures a thing and doesn't stick to, then this person that ended up being banking on and place their own hope in that persons term understands doubtfulness. That insufficient believe in could stretch in the evening one that smashed this promises to some others at the same time. After this common sense, medical and framework of an contemporary society may be disturbed.

Therefore, having less sincerity is a double-edged sword. That slashes their leverer along with the device. A udbyder of your assurance don't become honest which enables it to not commerce as well as help this betrayed in line with the toughness of these man's term. The two of you you are. In case the ripples of unfaithfulness stretch in the evening two individuals, many individuals could be afflicted. In the case of your own connection, the price of a busted phrase is a bit more than merely the losing of confidence, its content has a causing of strong injured on the person who has been mislead. By way of example, this wedding vows associated with wedding should be hallowed. In which you along with emotionally charged value pertaining to smashing these people could be harmful for both celebrations.

Should there be other individuals engaged, for example small children, it could wreak havoc on them. Its everyday life will be cut off by the separation of the loved ones as well as at a minimum the particular following fog up involving suspicions of which is accessible regarding the management from the household. In operation, ones term must be excellent. If you don't maintain true to the concept, you can not often be honest and whenever you do, how may you keep execute trade? Personal lines of credit will probably be trim and associates, which have been hence attractive the business enterprise, is often misplaced.

Integrity is critical at every place plus every facet of world. Without having reliability the actual clothing on the program, component or culture will start for you to rip apart. With out integrity, exactly what is a human being? Anyone drops every little thing via absence of strength. This individual drops also value with regard to herself eventually. If your truth of the matter than it is upon you with your pet, he'd possibly set out to consider him self being pointless. The perfect solution is always to develop sincerity. Endeavor to be a superior in addition to honest person. In fact, sincerity is something that has been trained all over historical past. It really is recommended with just about everywhere, if you beat in it.

Even just in modern days this founder of any meditation practice named Falun Dafa, demonstrates to Accuracy, Sympathy and Building up a tolerance. She must consider integrity is significant. In truth, one will discover the objective as well as incredible importance of reliability stressed in numerous strict teachings throughout all ages of man. Really don't a noblest of persons hold the thought of strength since precious? Strength is much more just a thought. It is a functional as well as required persona mark so as to get long-term results nowadays. Real, quite a few can perform results by way of a really serious deficiency of integrity, morals in addition to strength. Even so, it's like a home created for transferring crushed stone, bound to tumble sooner or later.
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Hello brother...
I hope you are happy
up in the clouds...
high above the sadness...

I am still here...
holding on...
hoping for the open future...
I am trying....
to hold on.

I try....
as doubtfulness falls down my eyes...
It doesnt matter how far our story goes...
it just matters how its told...

Humiliation touched me so
The feather touch of shame,
In having dwelt the weathered blow
Of embarrassment in my name.
From dynasties of ages past
My forebears strove to be,
Procurers of the portals in
The family names’ integrity.

Dank there, in the background,
Lurked a mystery of Jobe,
The riddle of impeachment
In the silken theft of robe.
A murkiness in origin,
The doubtfulness of frame
And the odour of a lie
Within veracity's dark stain.

Seeking through the archives,
Questioning those few
Old survivors of the family
Has left me here, adieu?
The recollections misty,
Most anecdotes, demure
And records from the Parish Church
Irritatingly, obscure.

Just can’t put my finger on it,
Or actually part the mists of time,
Or establish the candidacy
In this querulousness of mine.
But due to some portentous queries,
Innocuously made,
And some snide, salacious whispers,
Maliciously laid?

Thus, despite the searing,  livid flush
Of humiliations hue….
I’ll resume my quiet quest
To energetically, seek, anew….
The very confirmation sought,
Without a trace of blame,
In the voracity and honour
Of my good family name.

M.
Foxglove, Taranaki NZ
6 July 2021