"doubtfulness" poems
This is my story, the story of the journey I am on
It is not an easy journey, not for anyone no man, no woman, no child
This journey is unforgiving at times, that does not stop me
It brings the tears, anger, and doubtfulness out of me therefore it
Does not stop me from continuing, none told this journey would be easy
That does not stop me from pushing forward into the journey ahead
My journey is not over yet, the roads ahead won't be easy for anyone
That does not mean that me nor you will stop this journey
Because my friend our journey has just begun....
Jan 13, 2015
Jan 13, 2015 at 8:59 PM UTC
I'll Believe
When I doubt everything that I do,
Even when I cry don't want to shed a tear for you,
When I'm walking and all I think about is you,
I take a step back just to realise,
I'll believe when I have coloured in my wings,
I'll believe when I finally get something,
That can take away my doubtfulness,
And hopefully repay with some kind of happiness,
I'll believe when I have got my head back in the clouds,
Without having to be so blind,
I'll believe when I have done something,
And I don't ever wanna turn back time,
I need no regrets,
And a little bit of confidence,
To see through your lies,
Without being so hurt,
I just need some time,
Time is a thought of mine..
I'll be good if I can hold your hand,
I'll believe if someone makes a stand,
About how things have gone so ever wrong,
And how they can help us all to hold hands and just be strong,
I'll even believe in god one day,
If he really is the man they say,
The one that cares so much about us,
But never seems to show his face,
I'll believe when the sunrise is beautiful,
And doesn't make me cry,
Because I see the sadness in the sky,
When god is happy I can fly,
Will I ever,
Find the time,
To be just alright,
Will I ever,
Give up on these tears,
Or will they haunt me for all my years,
I'll believe when flowers start to bloom,
And nothing ever gets lost by a boom,
I see, Nothing but death around me,
And suffering and people trying,
That's why I'll only ever believe when I see the change for myself,
When the gods come and help us out,
When theres no more suffering,
And more of that loving,
Oh, whatever happened we was once a peaceful world,
I've lived many lives to say so,
Big birds and beautiful creatures,
That today we all treat like such a shame,
When really there the only thing we have left to say,
I'll believe.
By Larna Kira Kourtis AKA LkSkyFlyRose
Aged 13 & a quarter
~Peace~
By LkSkyFlyRose
© 2014 LkSkyFlyRose (All rights reserved)
Jan 15, 2014
Jan 15, 2014 at 11:05 AM UTC
The scent of your hair still lingers at my fingertips.
I hadn't felt **** like this yet. Soft caresses and sweet kisses turned bitter by your doubtfulness. Doubtful of yourself initially, eventually landing on my doorstep like an eviction letter. I had to escape. I didn't feel held in your arms. Your touch felt cold as tears fought through stubbornness. Waves of nausea clash below my heart as it desperately tries not to drown. I can't stay.
Now I'm filled with the gaping hole that you today filled and made whole. You leave me cold, dead, exposed, naked. Lay me out on the icy steel table and cut me open for examination. Do you like what you see?
Apr 8, 2017
Apr 8, 2017 at 8:47 PM UTC
You treat me so rough
when I beg you for delicate
You say that you love me
but you’re not really selling it
I remember the strength
I once held while celibate
I was a purified flower,
You were loving the smell of it..
But my thorns can be prickly
And I fear you won’t like that
So when you cause pain,
I try hard not to bite back
I love you unconditionally
and though I cannot fight that,
I wish you could see
how it hurts to fall off track
The pain in my foot
is the pain in your back
God sent you a mirror
And that mirror collapsed
If you look at what’s happening
You’ll see that I am you
So it’s not what you want to,
But maybe what you can do.
To reach outside yourself
to care for another
You could learn so much
From the love of a mother
This is what I offer
A new perspective
I know that you’ll see it
You’re very perceptive
I spin you in circles
And we finish our dance
I search for the conditions
They’re there; in your glance.
It’s both of our worst fear,
you won’t speak aloud.
I say all of my thoughts,
As they pass by like clouds.
Some are dark, some shiny, some gray
You only acknowledge them
Only every other day
Make me laugh and perspire,
Push my feelings away
The pain fades temporarily,
Yet the doubtfulness stays
“am I ungrateful”
Or
“Am I being punished”
I ask myself often,
As I sift through the dunnage
I unbury the fear
At the root of it all
I was rising in love,
But beginning to fall
You weren’t willing to catch me
Because you never saw
I tried to speak to you,
But did so, through a wall
Will you love me unconditionally
When you don’t like what you see?
Are you in love with an idea,
Or do you truly love ME.
Jul 12, 2024
Jul 12, 2024 at 9:45 PM UTC
The trail to happiness isn't as close as it seems
To be exact it's 9175 miles away from me
Across the sea
Where the Kangaroos and koala bear sleep
Why does this pursing happiness
Have to be so hard
Why is it so far
I wish for it to be closer on shooting stars
But hope soon fades
With the star as it drag races across the sky
Dipping beneath the horizon
Forever lost in space
But I see shooting stars when I get a glimpse of your face
My heart races
When I hear your voice
For a moment happiness is near
But soon disappears
To be replaced my something we both fear
Doubtfulness
That happiness will ever be real
May 17, 2015
May 17, 2015 at 4:33 AM UTC
She's cheerful but turns into tearful.
She's excited but turns into devastated.
She's confident but turns into bewilderment.
She's smiling but turns into alarming.
Today, is the day she's waiting but turns into nothing.
The preparation turns into destruction.
And the subsequent is doubtfulness.
She ask herself, why did he forgot?
Or he neglect to remember it?
The sadness was evidence in her eyes.
Tears slowly falling into countless time.
She's truly hurt but still hopeful.
That he might have surprise her for their Anniversary.
But, the daylight fades and nothing came.
She's sobbing to death cause the forgotten Anniversary is in her mind all night long.
Jan 20, 2021
Jan 20, 2021 at 1:09 AM UTC
Staring into darkness
Set on sparing nothing
Poised in calmness
Frantically navigating for something
Preferably powerful
An idea of significance
Something to stupefy doubtfulness
Then it hits you
Significance something you brew
Just by your variable in the equation of the cosmos
Each life is a story to be told
To be leached by the unfortunate that don't possess an ink pumping heart
A story to change a life
A perspective
The world
You are a story
You are significant
So Let them leach;
And allow me to sleep
To be devoured by this darkness in peace.
Aug 22, 2015
Aug 22, 2015 at 6:42 PM UTC
An urge to escape, fastened with a belt
Senses of conflict, preparing to melt
Imagine a life concealed as a boy
Thought upon others dancing with joy
Feelings of envy?, questions?, and hopes?
The life of a female tied up in ropes
Cut me some slack, to emerge from this shell
With the strength to stand up, whenever I fell
Forget what they said, they're stuck on rewind
Attempt to look forward, and leave them behind
Letting the sand seep through the glass
Each grain of sand, a day in the past
Setting the scene in dark shades of grey
My very own painting intended this way
Although I did say, that's what I intend
Fine traces of colour mix into the blend
They bleed and descend, like inside a dream
No need to pretend, if you know what I mean?
Unlocking a shutter, to view the next stage
That's just the book cover, before the next page
Was I on the verge of a long waiting game?
As all of the pages were numbered the same
A feeling of doubtfulness hit at close range
And half the way through, I noticed a change
But as I look back, in outbursts of laughter
My worries had vanished into the next chapter
This story I told, is split into two
And it starts with the old, revealing the new
A lesson that change is both patience and time
As every grey cloud has a fine silver line
My last stroke of paint, lets give it a chance?
And it's signed at the bottom
By Claire Torrance
May 28, 2018
May 28, 2018 at 2:46 AM UTC
Doubtfulness lingering around me
Losing sight of what i want to see
Hopelessness feeling my soul
Lost love taking its toll
oh my soul.
All the troubles I heard
If only you'd take my word
That'd I'd never make you cry
and that I'll love u even when i die
please just try.
Let me hold your hand
Lay with u in the sand
Whisper in your ear
Let you know I'll always be near
my darling dear.
Dec 2, 2013
Dec 2, 2013 at 10:51 PM UTC
I want it to be so that
I am a dark mass of life
A dark, cataclysmic shroud of flesh
A size bigger than the problems I harbor; but not as big as my regrets.
Oh yes, to be a spiral of catastrophe, absorbing all that is in my path.
swallowing them,
engulfing them
quickly,
but,
quietly,
spitting them out anew,
And whole again.
I sought to be the storm before the calm,
the pouring rain after the thunderclap of liquid-silver-lightning.
To be a wave of confidence and setting myself atop the horizon of other people’s views.
To gradually become a giant,
to be a whirlwind of
...nothing.
Meanwhile here, I am a cloud;
A cloud of doubtfulness,
Perspiring at the mere second
A weak faulty existence
I am the aftermath
The reconciliation
The ending of what was thought to be the beginning
A mere cloud,
amongst other things
I want it to be so that I float,
otherwise, I am drowning
My humidified scrawny legs are sweeping steel floors,
littered with reflections of redrafted selves.
Reflections that mirror the broken shards of one's psyche
expected to form a whole mirror.
I put my ten toes to the cold steel surface,
while dragging my past selves as we crawl
to where the Dim light is.
yet I do not cast any shadows.
I want it to be so that
I am the lord of the flies, to decompose in a cleanroom.
To assert my existence within these four walls, with my breathe alone shaking the inner workings of my rib cage.
I want to hear the echo of my heartbeat in the throats of others.
To engrave my face into the delicate insides of their skulls, indefinitely.
To be memorable— no,
To be remembered.
Because even then,
Even with the strength of ten worlds
Even with the confidence of an idle king,
Even with the assertion of the Ten Commandments.
I am merely but a figment of my own innovation.
Walking in the city seems to only expose lively souls,
where Dim city lights accentuate dull features,
but even then—
Even with the Dim and powerful street lamps of the night cowering before my shadow,
It only seems to cast a dark reflection,
Articulated appearances and dialogues vibrate through the reflections cast by those Dim lamps,
And it was in that moment, I was acquainted with,
Someone I have not remembered
but someone I have chosen to forget
Jan 22, 2021
Jan 22, 2021 at 11:16 AM UTC
Wallontly i glared toward the heavens
Seeking homage with the deities less registered in my recess
Sanity compromised my doubtfulness
As the blue sky and the grinning yellow occulus obscured my quest
"You can't see god"they warned my sight deprived eyes
Discernible kaleidoscopic star performed a victory dance in my cornea
I squinted in surrender
Choreographing my eidetic
Memory wikipidia
I vividly recall being
cautioned about mentioning the name of the gods in vain
Yet here i was
Calling my lungs out
Coughing and spitting profanities
Just trying to catch their attention
I searched with futility for heaven,paradise or even olympus
Whichever residence the gods laughed at my pitiful threats
I called my voice hoarse cursed the moon and swore never to think about the gods
Yet as i lay my tattered flame at night i wondered
Could they have heard me but decided to play hide and seek
Could they have seen me but decided to spare my pathetic human soul
So in dream land is drowned and i dreamt death....
Mar 12, 2016
Mar 12, 2016 at 3:00 AM UTC
Hello brother...
I hope you are happy
up in the clouds...
high above the sadness...
I am still here...
holding on...
hoping for the open future...
I am trying....
to hold on.
I try....
as doubtfulness falls down my eyes...
It doesnt matter how far our story goes...
it just matters how its told...
Aug 20, 2017
Aug 20, 2017 at 6:34 AM UTC
The excessive sweating, uncontrollable worries with rampaging thoughts flying at the speed of Jupiter's winds, forgive me for my fatigue, I oversleep when it was suppose to be only a "nap".
Trying to unscramble my ANXIETY
Sounds more of
"Ain't it for me."
"No exit or taxi" away from this.
What is it, you are doing?
You question yourself a lot?
I try not to. The switch activating my nerves default setting is neither on or off.
It's set to complex. Reminders to myself, realign your mind and eliminate the stress.
If only that was the case! Stress is a killer, but it would be my savior from ****** cramps causing my disorientation, dizziness and my inability to function.
Delusional or dysfunctional. Either over plan or overthink.
When expectations fail. I feel in all ways generally, it is me. I blame for being irresponsible.
Feeling the emotional energy of all living wonders and people in time pressing on your shoulders. It's not pleasurable, heart palpitations do not reward me with any justice in slightest.
You think it's me avoiding you. When the words of our human language cannot satisfy, my doubtfulness renders me in a state of peril, of expressing my gratitude for all you do.
I do not know, if its me.
Is it a quiet place or a quiet space needed?
The disconnection wondering inside, if I should detach from all.
A shred of reassurance goes a long way.
Physical health is mental health.
It's okay to not be okay.
Jun 30, 2021
Jun 30, 2021 at 3:02 AM UTC