"difficultly" poems
" As aging continues and time goes by,
the desire for our voice to be heard becomes more of a cry.
Acceptance and attention is what we desire.
But the problem is who we admire.
We often search for praise from peers,
which may give our father tears.
Worldly glory is difficultly acquired,
so why not seek the lord,
in who's eyes we are greatly admired."
Oct 16, 2011
Oct 16, 2011 at 10:46 PM UTC
Here I lay in my comfort composure
Listening to every rythm of my music
Removing my white earphone to listen
To listen to the beauty of nature raining
Picturing myself as a randrop falling; free
Picturing the placid movement of water
Moving as one, cold breeze and falling with heavy gravitational pull
Thinking back to when I'd lay in
_comfort_
Listening to every perfect beat of your heart
Concentrating on the whispers of your spirit
Being attentive to your chords as you release them
Piercing my mind, _quaking_
through my flesh
To simply un-wither that was even desintegrated
Your love circulating my veins
Simply
By speaking
Rippling accross my seams
Bolting through my body more
than any drug ever
Hanging me on your hook
Touring to the meadow in my
dreams
Conquering the battles in my
nightmares
Re-writing the words on my page
that is life
Then
After enough re-painting
Of my story
You started to un-write my book
Crossing the hearts
Tearing the written pages
Oh how I could only stand and
_stare_
Oh how all you did, difficultly
_Glare_
The whispers your soul gave
_withered_
Cleared and filléd my mind
_vacant_
Was I abandoned by your heart
So easily the welcoming door
Became an unbidden command
_requested_
This hour
Is when I play it back;
Remenisce about it
Laying alone, in discomfort
Listening to no beats
Not even one of my own
Then I close my eyes violently
Shoving back the emotion
To silently replay those words
I love you
Always
Crashing down
Bolting tar through my body
Poisoning my mind
Rippling through my veins
That same poison
Is what I use
To **** inside me
What demons creep
See the story has a twist
What I feared most
What demons I feared even more
Is exactly what I became
The poison inside me
Crisply ogling at me
Inside the cage
Compresséd
Inside what
We call a
Mirror
Sep 27, 2018
Sep 27, 2018 at 9:30 PM UTC
butterflies
are flitting about my stomach
and down my veins
through my limbs to reach
my very fingertips and
urge me to pass them along –
maybe if you feel the same
our touch will send
sparks flying
and our lips colliding
and then everything will make sense.
i had forgotten what it feels like
to be wary of my posture
and my under-eye circles;
i hope you do not look upon them
and see the sleepless nights
of my past –
because since i have met you
i have never slept so well.
this anxiety all the time
is condensation falling from the glass
to the table
and fogging up the outside
so no one can see in.
my lips have only been stained
by recent 3 a.m. coffee breaks
and constant biting
my cheek and my tongue –
breathing has never felt so
difficultly easy
than it has
around you.
bold-w.l.w
7/13/14bold
Jul 22, 2014
Jul 22, 2014 at 10:31 PM UTC
I'm tired of dreaming of dreams that don’t come true. I am tired of people who lie especially, the one’s who say they don’t.
I'm sick, and tired that I can't stop these tears that I cry.
I wish the pain, and the suffering would go away. Don’t they see me, Faking the laugher when I feel some kind of emptiness. They like to play this stupid ugly game When, I feel my life is all a mess.
I want to be alone.......... When life..... My life, has so much more then difficultly, when I am this way..... I'm tired of the feeling I cant trust others, and myself can’t be trusted as well.
I'm really tired.......
I'm tired of not seeing a brand new day
Aug 26, 2012
Aug 26, 2012 at 6:53 PM UTC
Oh baby you drive me,
So freaking crazy,
I yearn for you, baby.
Oh baby you make me,
So feeling wanted,
I learn for you, baby..
Oh baby you take me,
So farther away,
I turn for you, baby...
Oh baby you thrive in me,
So full and frizzy,
I live for you, baby....
Oh baby you are awake for me,
So difficultly daunted,
I relive for you, baby.....
Oh baby you ache for me,
So smarter way,
I give love for you, baby......
Oh baby why I feel so calm,
So genuinely in love,
I take inspiration for life, baby.......
Aug 26, 2013
Aug 26, 2013 at 1:08 PM UTC
Thoughts are ******
They Overcome me
Petty me
Destroy me
Fear arises
Now Short Breathing
Anxiety
It has its Variety
I create something
Then destroy it
Ego
Please know
All I want
Is Peace
Please release
This grip you have on me
Thinking
Overwhelms me
Socially
The Difficultly
I feel
Out of my mind
I'm crazy
And that's just fine.
Feb 5, 2013
Feb 5, 2013 at 6:20 PM UTC
Don't try to lie to yourself.
Or others.
You always knew the truth
Was only a half white.
The rest was dark magic.
It's the reason some of us
Can rise so difficultly to the top.
While we watch the others burn.
Without so much as a wave goodbye.
It's why talk is cheap.
And everything else costs you dearly.
Oh yes, it is a pretty,
And supposed rarity among most.
Just remember,
When you bring your wordless face
To the final count,
To make sure that you, yourself
Didn't get gypped.
May 13, 2014
May 13, 2014 at 11:31 PM UTC
Hey you.
I’ve been pondering whether or not I should do this..
Seeing as our shared duration of interest with one another was so short.
Well,
On your end atleast.
However,
For myself,
And my own contentions,
I wished it had continued; so I will write one last time as a means to find some clarity in my delusions over you.
I.
I promised myself I wouldn’t fall for you.
That I would ignore the underlying feelings
that had been created the moment we met.
To this day, I share mixed feelings regarding us.
If there ever was an ‘us’.
Sometimes I talk to myself, convincing the inner mind that I should’ve tried harder with you, fought tooth and nail for you.
Yet,
Near our end,
I knew this wouldn’t fit your agenda.
You desired something else.
Something I completely disregard via my own experiences.
Once perhaps,
But now,
I seek the opposite.
A friend,
but more.
It’s always more with this body.
It cannot be satisfied by means that I am aware of.
But you.
For a moment,
which I’m sure you’ll doubt,
I was vividly content with my life whenever I was by your side.
For the first time in six years I felt what I had felt back then.
You broke rusted chains of bitter emotion that had restrained me,
that kept me in the dark and isolated me from my own positive emotions.
It’s been over a month now.
I feel immense pain over you,
Yet somehow it’s bearable this time.
I feel pain, and I feel nothing.
Two sides of my own coin that will remain separated,
And never to be conjoined.
Will I ever be able to better understand what I seek,
Or who I am?
Why must I be different from the others?
These questions remain foggy.
Nevertheless,
These sentences are not intended to make you feel guilty nor remorseful in any way.
I just needed to write I guess.
And how could I blame you?
You saved yourself a great deal of pain and difficultly fleeing whilst you had a chance.
Perhaps you never cared for me..
Or maybe you did.
I’ll never truly know,
and that’s what most saddening about our experience together.
Perhaps I am still paying off the debt of karma that was acquired from the first heart I broke.
II.
Whatever fate decides.
I will always miss you, beloved
Jun 17, 2018
Jun 17, 2018 at 1:38 PM UTC
(there is always this moment)
quietly . littlely
soft within
bed and thinking
of lips eyes hair
breathing
still and strenuously
pressed beneath breast .
the heart feels
and pushes against
rib and spine;
(a fan plays
/
the cat eats)
and lingers little sleep,
for thought is always
and always of thoughts
there is something
somewhere
difficultly serene
improbable to touch
yet touches with
exacting grace;
My dear:
My love
of nothing
Little which
you are
not real
your hand is a vapor
of tense reeling to tingle
under skin which rushes
with clovered spice
of splintered health.
(my love i have always loved you
that you are not something real;
Sep 16, 2016
Sep 16, 2016 at 1:11 AM UTC