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Soumya Goswami Apr 2016
When I am gone:
Will I be down patted?
Or will I not?
When I am gone:
I don't want my dearests
To sing sad songs
I don't want them to put
The garlands.
I want them to be unable to summon up the bitter I spoke.
Please forget the times of grudge.
But remember that of in-joke.
Don't cry for it isn't the final goodbye.
Don't remember me forever.
But even for a moment.
I want to be dredged up as unleashed as wind.
As true as a kid.
When we come to this world,
We are as lonely as a cloud.
When we go from this world
We are as lonely as a cloud.
And in between:
'All the world's a stage.
And all men and women merely players.
They have their exits and entrances.'
Hence, my dearests:
This isn't the final goodbye.
So, don't cry.
We'll meet when you too
Will come to your final home.
Where you'll freely fly
Cassie May 2021
Dear,

Do you even know who I am?

Did you even really care to find out or just need a companion?


Dear,

Do you even know who he is?

Did you even really care to find out or just need a companion?
(1)
They say...well...I say, say they, and so I relay to you,
That those with passion lose a certain ability to be true,
For they are too brash, too close to see,
And too excited to be able to read,
And too was my stance on the matter 'till now,
I admit I mocked them quite aloud,
And I tried to erase all emotion from this sot,
And, thank God, I seemed to have missed a spot.
For facts are not cold, and until you can touch them,
Many cannot sense the fiery passion at their stem.

Do not mis-strew my words, however, there are those who misuse,
Passion is a aptly named a fire, for like such there is control to lose,
But as with most, moderation is a steady guide,
And after then, but until now, my emotions I did not hide.

As I am now, reluctant to show heat,
Because as I do I can feel others', mine, meet,
Burning, melding, combining the two,
And then the pain of their death, to say adieu...

Well that was fun, but the real world is not for me,
Time to retract into anonymity,
"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." or so I’m told,
However from my own experience, that phrase loses its potency, and quickly is cold.
For each face I’ve grown with I cannot but see their bones smiling at me through the flesh,
Smiling of their eventual victory over their fine human mesh,
I see the dripping paste of man melting off each white core,
Until my dearests... and my deepests... are no more.

so.
Millie May 2018
Dear papa,
you call me "daddy's girl" to the eyes of the world
and cut me off when I share my deep opinions
recycling your feel-good sources
your love is conditional
to how great I can make you feel

Dear mama,
you spell me out in your sour words
defining me with my shortcomings
you see your mistakes in me
calling me "a weak child with no guidance"
unaware that you have never shown real guidance

Dear lover,
you fail to show real emotions
to anything that is less than perfect
my imperfections threaten your ego
i am clearly invisible  
fighting through your lack of empathy

Dear self,
you have been buried deep into your mind
obsessing over the ways your dearests have failed you
despite the unconditional love you give
It is time to start recognising how you have failed yourself
and fight for your own peace
Taking each day at a time, fighting depression
Yolonda Dahl Aug 2017
Caving from within, I'm fighting
Pins an needles hard to breathe
Through heartache; pains me
As I suffer tirelessly, in silence
And hide the fatigue of my mind
Caught in landslides choking
On conscience, consciousness
daunts me,
Toying with emotions
Brainwaves sending false readings
With absolute disconnect
Error. Error. Error
Of thought and self-control
I dismiss rationality to welcome insanity
Briefly I receive a message caught
From the stars only
To tell me not to feel scarred
Our lives are temporary in the present
With much difficulty finding meaning in all this
I ask to the one,
Thee only truest of a presence
For an answer or some guidance
Or some notion,
at least a good semblance of
One comforting piece of news or advice
Would suffice
To the reckless being I embody
In this shell, this core, this hollow case
Trapping me, ensnaring me. I am
A victim to this forsaken life of greed
And ruin along the many empty
Beings not reaching their potential
That they might
see a sight in themselves to feel
A fright and be obliged
To set things right.
I am pained in a world of hurt and hurting
And loss and confusion and parting those
Familiar ways of setting hearts a blaze today
We stray from common knowledge of love to understand the other, to rise above
Hate and hatred and wicked ways
To free of the old clay, and mold ourselves I pray
That we are of like-mind in this day and age
To forfeit the sentiment of seperation.
Our kindness heals hearts, understanding erases hurt, love unites, respect connects.
Dig there in the depth
of lost ruins and emerge to seek
a soul of purity and intellect
to give to one another as you
so desperately crave to receive.
Open hearts and open minds
yield possibilities for us
to be intertwined.
Casting shadows produces a cold
Bitter yard for your neighbor to dwell
Evoking and emitting a smile from within can be akin
To a warmth and envelop
those near in a blanket of sunshine as well.
"Oh but Why?" you ask.
Because my friend, a friend
Is a friend. Be them strange or familiar,
And wouldn't you want the same? Oh,
But. Wouldn't. you. want. the same?
I say
to you and unto you
Hear me now as I beg
Love with the same love you deserve and realize it's always deserved.
So give it, but mostly
receive it from thy self and know
You. Are most certainly of worth.
As are we all, my dear dears and dearests.
Budhaditya Bose Sep 2016
I see I've created problems,
Problems with no good fix,
It gave me nothing,
Nothing but a gravelly voice,
And a flow to my tears.
I want to fix this. I need to.
Give me some time.
I will be strong enough,
Enough to leave you,
My dearests, friends, and family,
And stay alone, with a broken heart,
In solitude or in the heavens,
With the memories of you,
Patching the scar,
Within the deep of my heart.....
My closest of people never accepted our relationship, Trying to maintain them all, I lost all of them. Thats what this poem is about :)
Cíara McNamara Jul 2015
The bells are ringing loudly,
toiling for their muse.
There won't be another
to fill his shoes.

The bells are ringing louder,
as he makes his final stroll,
upon the shoulders
of his dearests sons.

The bells are ringing,
but no one here can hear,
there is an echo of ending life,
it's time to share our memories
while they are still ripe.

The bells are ringing loudly,
ticking like a fuse.
Mark May 2020
I)

Our precious months have none for charity,
Yet isolation; do by months donate
My waning form, for solidarity;
Absent of sickness, nearer distant fate.
My end seems meek and much less horrible,
Than if your eyes did scorn what time does crease
Upon my skin, less white adorable,
For yours of beauty stilled, mourn my decrease?
No! Worry not, for sweet your sweetheart's eye:
Abundant in immortal glory's stage,
When paired with you no longer I am I
But us! Now five years more, ten gone my age.

Yet that decrease fear covids added
much;
Corona's law: times two without your touch.

(II)

Law bid's my better self from me to part,
Across the sick laid world in viral war,
If wonder where's my best? Let check your heart;
Where all my vibrancy and ferver store,
Albeit are my eyes that make the artist,
And art is love when beauty forms the muse;
Is you that map my beauty true; sweet chartist!
But you had only mapped your own infuse.
When this abundance has your dearests seen;
True mind's deduction knows what bears without;
A kingdom ruled in vigil for a queen;
Steadfast a lesser king, still king devout.

My love - my best you have and best to know:
Pity my least, when most without your glow.

(III)

Oh lovely one, tho' time's unsavory,
Your privilege from it's change and creasing blade;
Deprives from time: decay's own slavery,
From your sweet youth that sweetest form has stayed.
What deity does guard your beauty's jewel?
Whom favored graces do continue more;
In time that sweeter mood will turn to cruel:
An infamy well known from those whom wore.
Ah! When that fearsome wand does show your wear,
Never me fooled; yes grey would hue your white
And happen all the while before my stare;
But love shan't change, nor day appear as night

Nor heart could grey nor love turn older stale'd.
If proved these false; mere proved my pulse had failed.

(IV)

I tend this lockdown'd day in unmade bed,
Then greet the icy morn with bitter brew
But drown in distant news of many dead;
I gasp for foreign lives I never knew.
How near to you! Thus near my sacred stone;
Beholder of my love what love there bears,
If comfort's found beneath your chested bone,
Is mine revealed; a love when all else tears.
Ah! Meager seems my loneliest of lines,
When other loves have costlier of loss,
For ours shall turn when 'rona's force resigns;
Back to our hearted bridge at lover's cross,

But thought the pain if you succumbed the worse
Does think my end by body, soul, in hearse!
Mateuš Conrad Jun 2022
i can't say it isn't a learning curve, i.e.: how does it feel to pay
of a debt in... four installments? once £200... another time £250... another time at £600 and what's left-over is is? £277... and all of this? done by cash? well... it feels... a bit like giving £130 to a *******... wafer-think comparison... but it's almost on par... i'm just following up on the poems conundrum, autobiographical rigour & hotel reds.


i knew it wouldn't happen, it sounded too good to be true...
i knew she had a young daughter...
and like most prostitutes: she must have conspired
with her coworkers about the idea of... meeting a client...
outside of the hour-mark...
they must have said things like: what were you thinking?!
are you mad?
he propose the idea... no... i did...
                 i said maybe we can meet in a hotel room...
to which he replied... sure, we can go for dinner prior..
i'll bring some brandy...
i did the cost-analysis... she was obvious in a castle made
of clouds... because... isn't it obvious?
    why would i want to have any trouble in my life...
esp. if it's trouble with women?
      last one drew in into a student account overdraft
debt worth about £3000...
          tough times...
      the bank sent me a notice that my bank account
status of a student was about to expire...
  and that i couldn't have a interest-free overdraft
limit of £3000... that prior to going into the bank
and asking for the limit to be extended from £2500
because i had an emergency back "home" and i needed
to fly out for a funeral...

- - interlude - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - i was still close to lightning a cigarette right now...
i only stopped myself because i have some whiskey...
but... when i was painting the garden fence...
i was so ******* i started splashing the paint in rage..
no? mother dearests ask me because her neighbour
asked her to check if Bella the cat has clean water
and the frog's light is off... i hate being interrupted when
i write... i don't mind making concession when
speaking... but when i write and i'm interrupted...
it really is a peace pipe though... tobacco...
it's so much more soothing than outbursts of anger...
i guess marijuana is good for anger that builds
up... but when you need a quick fix... tobacco...
  maybe that's why i have almost have had this terrible
dry cough... my throat is irritated from the lack
of extra phlegm lining my throat... it's not a sore throat...
just sore when i cough... enough whiskey...
i'll be chirpy tomorrow... - - - - end of interlude - - - - - - - -

and i managed to wriggle out of that deficit...
by not exactly working: more suffering from lack of certain
pleasures... alcohol... tobacco...
although i did land that god-send of being paid out
about £3000 in damages for being a car-crash...
call it a fluke? i call it blood good luck...

tobacco: two occasions... to calm the nerves...
and to counter what otherwise caffeine does but caffeine
can't do with alcohol...
tobacco + alcohol...
    it's not caffeine + alcohol or for that matter ******* + alcohol...
sure... marijuana + alcohol used to work...
in my youth... if you were smart about it...
few were... tobacco + alcohol all the way...

i never enjoyed the credit system in capitalism...
i was very much always debit: el classico...
   sure... i have a student debt... "debt": the % on that
is so low and i need to be earning over £15,000 a year
to pay it off... but... here's the catch...
the debt gets written off after 30 years... or is it 25?
not for the quality of education they're selling people
right do i feel obliged to pay off this debt...
i've learned more once i left university
than i ever learned when i was inside it...

it's like that current job i'm doing...
sure... i might get paid peanuts compared to others...
but you know what some people
to have the sort of view i had
    at the Tyson Fury match? guess...
   oh man... the 25th of June and the 26th and i've
already pre-booked shifts for the Red Hot Chilly Peppers
performing at the London stadium...

i must have mentioned it... the people with S.I.A. training:
ex-military or ex-cons.... or ex-prison workers...
bouncers at doors... they did idiocy problem with
hierarchy... they love the rough and tumble...
so? they get paid more for a license...
oh man... so many of them have beautiful teeth...
smile that a Mongolian might only be envious of when
it comes to the English-man... it's that pretty...

me? i'm a crowd safety steward... ha ha...
or just someone who talks to people...
                       right... but these S.I.A. guys only get
£5 more hour... and where are they when an event takes place?!
outside...
stewards get paid... say... £10 an hour...
but that doe that entail? i get a free ticket...
i'm oh so tempted to change shifts from London Stadium
on the 12th to Wembley Stadium shift...
mammoth shift... starting at 7am finishing at 11pm...

eh.... but i haven't seen monster trucks in action...
and i'd like to see monster trucks in action...
it's almost as if: i'm going on dates with myself...
and i'm not paying for them: i'm getting ha ah ha *******
paid for them...

- knew it would have been good to be true...
i was already gearing up to disappoint from the myth
of a ******* ******* you in a hotel...
or rather... you know the story... stalemate...
but i'm no pompous Walt Whitman or for that
matter a tender Schwob...
              it is what it is... i won't bother her... until bother
her again... once i get paid at the end of June...
or maybe i should just move onto another woman...
i don't want to break her heart
as she said the unattainable words of reciprocating:
i love you....
    i *******...
        if she would have said: i need you...
i don't think i'd still say i love you...
                     of the things that man loves...
cycling... swimming... walking alone in the fields
or in the forests or among mountains...
i dread the idea that women are merely reciprocating
the hopes and ambitions of the most unimaginative men...

come Monday i was gearing up... "forgot" to buy supplies...
by Tuesday i was going full turkey
from a lack of alcohol stimulation and nicotine stimulation...
i was purging... i had the shivers in the night...
i was pretending to have dreams when it fact i was
just hallucinating with my eyes closed:
this one dream? my dead cat.... Oscar Darshan...
was walking in a host of sheep into my abode... to perfection...

i did have a cold... snotty nose... numbing aches
and pains all over my body from Teusday
night through to Wednesday morning... after ingesting
some cider... smoking that cigarette:
there was no fault with the paint! the fault was in:
my fence... to my left... the wood is of better quality...
precision marking: blindly even... to right?!
low quality timber! ******* ******* seagulls *******
while also taking a ****!

that being said: i have to toil by the sweat of
my brow tomorrow...
i have 1 tonne of rough sand to transfer from
the access road to my garden... no wheelbarrow...
old-school way... whichever way that is...
in buckets... shovel... good exercise...

but for someone who's been missing for the past two days...
not bad... i say no bad...
i started to binge watch some of: the good wife...
because... at least it's not drama set in a hospital
and you expect everyone to be sociopathic *******...
now...
    i'm going to have a second cigarette of today and
wonder why this isn't worth 3,000 words....
oh...but there are additions pointers to be made...

what is the usual knock-out blow of alcohol,
nicotine, 250mg of naproxen
500mg of paracetamolum
+ diphenhydramini hydrochloridu (25mg)...

exactly? what was my "detox list of suggestions"?
phenegran (25mg), 2-4-dichlorobenzyl alcohol,
amylmetacrescol,
paracetamol, promethazine, dextromethorphan,
pseudoepherdrine, pholcodine...
ethanol, sucrose, glucose, propylene glycol...

yeah... what a welcome change...
old habits die hard... mind you: i needed to reiterate
being rejected by a ******* from:
****...i wasn't rejected...
            i just felt like a tonne of bricks
at the donkey... sure... even i have dreams...
i'd love to spend the last years of my life
in some region of Russia or Norway...
              maybe that too will be soul crushing when
my time comes...
i've already had the heart of youth crushed by
not being able to find anyone outside the realm
of merely *******...
          "only child syndrome":
               or... simply... how i adapted to what was
to come... the rarity of a large family.

— The End —