"blaim" poems
My head's a mess. It is. I've been compromised. I've been broken. Like a puzzle where none of the pieces match. None fit. I've realized mine never will either. Because someone has taken away a few and thrown in new ones. And I'm not even sure if I can blaim anyone else but myself. It's chaos. A mess. So I've given up. The fight is over. Leave me alone to curl in the dark corners of my bed. Please don't make me open my eyes. I don't want to see. If you try you will only risk getting your own puzzle shattered. That's what I am now. That's what I've become. The very essence of "you only want what you can't have". Reluctantly indifferent. My heart is off and the switch has stuck. Not wanting to be alone, but deserving it. I'm a safety hazard. Dangerous. I can make you fall in love with me. And that's what I crave. But I have forgotten how to love in return. You think I give and give and give. When all I really try to do is take, take, take to fill myself and switch my heart back on. If it's even there anymore, in the sinus of my chest. I can't tell. I can't feel it. So leave me alone to curl in the dark corners of my bed. Please don't make me open my eyes. I don't want to see what I've done.
May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 5:56 AM UTC
Dear **** boys
Lies have become a custom to me.
I heard so many and told many more.
I take extra long showers now with boiling hot water, hoping to cleanse this skin.
Hoping to erase this sin.
I tell myself i'm over it but my heart still yearns
it still burns with a passion only you could ignite.
A blaze that's taken over my soul.
I feel trapped, stuck in a black hole.
I'm going no where im lost.
I tell myself i will never talk to him again.
I tell myself we can just be friends.
It's my fault, I'm the one to blaim.
I bought into it.
I ran like a moth to the flame.
And like a moth I got burned.
Dear **** boy
why am I so excited, my heart beats fast
I feel pleasure and fear at the same time.
I feel like i'm about to commit a crime.
Dear **** boy
When you said Netflix and chill
I was unaware there would be no Netflix .
Plus your definition of chill
doesn't seem to be adding up to my thesaurus.
Dear **** boy
Where have you gone
I've been calling and texting
but you still haven't picked up the phone.
When you said let's be friends was this a
signal for the end.
Dear **** boy what is heartbreak…
Don’t know here's the answer
loving you.
Sep 23, 2015
Sep 23, 2015 at 3:31 PM UTC
I know I'm difficult
So it's all okay
Every invisible second
Every pain washed away
I didn't tell you how mean they were
When you punished me
And never them
I would be grim
When I would get pushed
On the sharply laid rocks
lie and say I did it
to me
That seemed a more likely possibility
Any crime committed
Every atrocity found
I was surely to blaim
I never complained or wondered why
Maybe that's why I believed
It's always me.
It's okay
You didn't know
I turned into a chameleon
You couldn't see
What I did to them
They'd done to me
But
To you I will ALWAYS
Be
The problemed child
Jul 30, 2018
Jul 30, 2018 at 2:05 PM UTC
A girl lost her father to cancer
at eighteen.
Tell me what that means,
what that was good for.
Because she lost herself too that day and
she's not back yet.
She pleaded; dear sickness,
let him see me grow up first.
They got two weeks.
It's been one year,
seven months,
thirteen days,
eight hours.
So tell me who you are to say
she's not still broken.
When her mother was abused
and her boyfriend had a child
with someone new.
Tell me how she
should have seen it coming.
When she was interrogated about her
sexuality, and
in the papers they spoke of hellfire as
a cure for natural desire.
When her female friend
made fun of her weight
and she hit herself for believing it.
When her male friends
violated her at parties
even though she said
no.
Tell me how she
should have spoken up.
Tell me how she
should have been sober.
Limbs itching, nails scratching
until imagined flaws become real scars.
When she eventually confused
closeness,
***
with love - her comfort in being
alone
dragged good people down with her.
Tell me how she was to blaim.
Apr 27, 2015
Apr 27, 2015 at 3:58 AM UTC
School kids are playful, there laughter is stunning. Always jumping, always running. School kids don't worry, I'll pick you up at 4:30, have fun till then because playtimes almost done. Recess and homework don't mix at the most. You can't blaim it on dog much longer. But the school bell keeps ringing school kids keep playing. Who's to show them whats right and wrong just yet. They'll know for themselves in just a short while. One day they'll grow up not knowing that it will show up, knocking at their door, knocking and waiting. But school kids don't worry I'll pick you up at 4:30, good times and memories won't stay the same, iam sorry to say, we all have to grow up one day.
Jan 17, 2010
Jan 17, 2010 at 2:14 PM UTC
Did you forget that i Claimed it.... That once i did name it.... Took a picture and framed it... Now that is dead you can blaim it .... So your heart over here... that I took out of there....I wasn't tryin to give it back.... "I love you" was supose to be fact... But know I see your eyes.... and there tell me it was lies... All of the kisses and hugs.... the laughs and the loves....were just a simple way to get what you want....took what i had and now you want to be blunt...With all the layers of hate i still have your heart....and now that your gone you relize your still missing your most important part...not your arm not your leg...not you chest or your head...not your lips or your knees...nor you lungs that can breathe... but your falling apart...cuz you dont have your heart... Yeah you got wat you want...the correct texted and the font...but the page is not ready to read...because your still missing what you need...see i hold the ink...as your all out of sync...You cant find the smile...you havent seen in a while...cuz its still in my name...the one you dont claim...I know that you need it...and that your still looking for it....its just a shame that you forgot that i have it...
Nov 8, 2011
Nov 8, 2011 at 10:05 AM UTC
I feel that all that goes wrong
is only my fault
Cause only when I am around life and people
seem to drown
I sometimes wish if I was different would
this life become any different
If I was not born would peoples life be less of
a storm
Apr 8, 2021
Apr 8, 2021 at 9:54 AM UTC