"becuse" poems
although age in and of itself
does not declare experience
or the depth of knowledge one has gained
and in my opinion is silly for anyone
to think otherwise
I'm always told
"your so wise for one so young."
Or
"oh I remember what it was like to be 19
and think you know the world."
Yet what they refuse to acknowledge
is that in 19 short years,
I may have experienced both
horrors and beauty
that they have yet to dream let alone see.
Who is to say that age is a boundary of the mind?
That inexperience creates an age divide?
Who are they to claim that we would be consumed
when they have yet to wander in our beaten old shoes?
Who are they to judge me of a story
they have yet to hear?
All becuse they refuse to lend an ear?
Feb 12, 2018
Feb 12, 2018 at 4:58 AM UTC
Underneath we are all the same
We all consist of red blood and bones
Strip away our skin and we are all the same
My little brother
He's only 11 but he's seen more violence that he needs
He's seen his older brother pushed aginst the wall and punched to ****** pulp becuse he wasn't a real man
Hes been pushed to the ground by a teacher becuse he had the guts to kiss his boyfriend
My best friend has had to sneak past her parents at night to see her love only to be beaten becuse of the color of her skin.
My brother has covered for me saying the much to large ripped jeans and band t-s were his to hide me from my father
We are all the same but if you are not a part of sociotys standards then you see more violince then ever needed to expiriance.
I want to hold hands with my girlfrind as we walk down the street without the fear
It doesn't matter who you are. we all have the same blood weather youre black, white, asian, gay, straight, trans, funny, depressed, happy, sad, in love single. IT DOESNT MATTER because we all bleed the same blood.
Dec 6, 2021
Dec 6, 2021 at 5:20 PM UTC
Intelligence has evadade you
As you allow what you think you want to slowly degrade your views,
Nothing that fades away can ever be true,
For even the old used to be new.
What do you look for in love: nice assets and a face you can trust,
Becuse anything sparkles when it's covered in rust.
Sentiment and intellect were devoured by lust,
And the only way to the top is made up of dust.
Social scenes and social queens
Require more costume than Halloween.
Who wants to be stuck at seventeen?
If you're not surrounded by faces, who will hear you scream?
You engrave your expectations on the palm of your hands,
Open them up to God, and plead for romance.
For prayers only function as a form of demands
That look no further than tomorrow nights plans.
Who you know and how you're perceived,
Cascades and tumbles down over your beliefs.
Temptation wasn't as easy for Adam and Eve;
Their apple held more than your money trees.
Now there's nothing left but a rotten core,
And casual small talk spilled out upon the floor,
Seeping in and out of the wooden pores,
Across scattered feet, too numb to implore.
Afraid of the concept of being alone,
You only accept what is already known,
Living for the weekend so your efforts are atoned,
Like David and Goliath, you have to stone or get ******
Bloodshot eyes and vacant stares, too deliberate not to go anywhere,
Because sentiment means nothing to a generation who doesn't care
About anything that holds less weight than the air,
Unless it's about what you should wear.
So bottle up your empty dreams and aspirations,
Throw them to sea: an intellectual evacuation,
You'll see more like them under medication,
Because fitting in requires social sedation.
May 4, 2013
May 4, 2013 at 1:09 PM UTC
rosees satin doll favorite orange hair thick clothe ciggerett on addas shiny pants accedent the whole doll little nos you would remember it peach polka a dot dress and ya the ros the top of my hamper wicker basket and nope never remebered to rember any of that the doll part with the polka dot dress *** i trhew the ***** bend with dithces caves and wholes the holes those are my windy road holes and the ditch just got taken care of that sentences with ditche started with a long widy road the caves was in casers i could never explain how i got my words but i sewed every one of them up and i got all my papers stolen and everything else happended too wow **** so i dont know no more again but *** k wait again yep im the **** fewfiefofum low and i dont tknow vwhat the mother **** **** is **** ya i did it was a sence i was ggoing to be talking an my greatest fear was alwasy well mark once said lurp and right before he said it it landed on me and i was checking him for the first time i said i lurp and he saidvicki dont say lurp becuse he started with dont he was at his breaking point and i just found out a second ago any fiefofee he got ****** up and almost killed and i have a question do people ypou people know get ****** up for passing seses cause i am dethly afraid i am going to pass one that sys i o i have to say the word out loud o o kay well let me try hold up i am quick well because i roll something in a row doesnt mean it hooked even though it hooked i just rolled by it dude and ya i hooked it It might be illegal on a jank undergo
Apr 7, 2015
Apr 7, 2015 at 5:39 PM UTC
"Strong"
I am weak but was never taught how to be strong, i feel like every thing i do, i do wrong. Standing up for myself is harder than ever, i wish it was as easy as lifting a feather. Being what you are is ok when you're alone in your car, but once you open the door you feel really far from yourself cause you cannot be you, it feels like walking on glass with out a shoe. Yet i know i'll have to teach myself, it won't be in a book i can take off the shelf. I know it is deep inside of me i can tell becuse it feels like it wants to be set free. However, with freedom comes a cost it eats away at some part of me, one i have lost. Being strong is hard exspecaliy when i haveto say no, it makes me feel like i am hated by all who are aflout. On a different note i am going to sink that boat cause there are possitives that yes i must gloat. People tell me i am stronger than i know, but this is one thing i do not like to show. Keeping my mouth shut, minding my own bussiness, and ignoring the past are some of the things i am good at. I love my family thats no lie, i love them like a big piece of home made pie, If you mess with my baby sister i'll turn into a different mister, my anger will come out, i will turn to a demon and you'll think "wow i hope i'm dreaming". After all is said and done i guess i am stronger than i thought i just needed some time to decover myself that's all, maybe i should stop worrying and stand tall.
May 21, 2014
May 21, 2014 at 7:14 PM UTC
My heart consumes hate
Like a leaf consumes sun light
Just soaks it up
But to no end
The flow will be constent
And I with out it
I would be different
Not dead just hibernating
Untile that sun light strikes my leaf
I may not like this hate
But it's the only way I can find a way to live
Becuse with out that hate
My heart lives on my sleeve
With people ready to stab and slash
And so I alow my heart and hate
To enter a Symbiosis relation ship
Hate lives in my heart
And protects its beats
Aug 6, 2012
Aug 6, 2012 at 2:19 PM UTC
rosees satin doll favorite orange hair thick clothe ciggerett on addas shiny pants accedent the whole doll little nos you would remember it peach polka a dot dress and ya the ros the top of my hamper wicker basket and nope never remebered to rember any of that the doll part with the polka dot dress *** i trhew the ***** bend with dithces caves and wholes the holes those are my windy road holes and the ditch just got taken care of that sentences with ditche started with a long widy road the caves was in casers i could never explain how i got my words but i sewed every one of them up and i got all my papers stolen and everything else happended too wow **** so i dont know no more again but *** k wait again yep im the **** fewfiefofum low and i dont tknow vwhat the mother **** **** is **** ya i did it was a sence i was ggoing to be talking an my greatest fear was alwasy well mark once said lurp and right before he said it it landed on me and i was checking him for the first time i said i lurp and he saidvicki dont say lurp becuse he started with dont he was at his breaking point and i just found out a second ago any fiefofee he got ****** up and almost killed and i have a question do people ypou people know get ****** up for passing seses cause i am dethly afraid i am going to pass one that sys i o i have to say the word out loud o o kay well let me try hold up i am quick well because i roll something in a row doesnt mean it hooked even though it hooked i just rolled by it dude and ya i hooked it It might be illegal on a jank undergo
Apr 8, 2015
Apr 8, 2015 at 9:03 AM UTC
One more lonely Christime time becuse you are not by side,
I sit here on Chritmas Eve bu let no see me cry
My heart is broke, my spirit gone, How can Christmas be so glad
when I don't have you anymore.
Just another Christmas time I wish we were together
you are spending with the angels and I spending i alone
because I have not been called home. I hope it is soon because I want to be with your celestial heaven.
Dec 23, 2014
Dec 23, 2014 at 4:07 PM UTC
But instead
I laughed, hard like I used to
And your arms felt like the sand and the ocean
And I looked into you're blue eyes, and I appreciate the different shades
Fighting for your attention,
and you're oblivious to the war waging
Your laugh is the sweetest sound I've ever heard
And your heart holds the beat
And I can't get that song out of my head
And I hope you'll never leave my bed
Because your body is so warm you could melt all the icebergs
And I laugh as I blame you for global warming
Becuse beauty like yours
Beauty that beams from within and pierces the skin of all those you meet
Beauty that expands like a black hole when you smile and I melt
Beauty like you consumes me.
Sep 14, 2017
Sep 14, 2017 at 9:14 AM UTC
Fire, you are such a ******* liar, which once respected passtion and love, you are not the symple of death and hate. I know when fire is at the gate to my soul. Becuse everything stops being so cold. But with fire comes false hope, i let you in and you take everything and go. Fire burns everything not even the stuff i thought was fire proof is save. It destorys everything down to the last inch of space. Fire can mean love which is always a false symble. It is always in my heart for the wrong reasons and when it leaves everything is burnt and turned into ashes. Fire can be a symble for Passtion. A passtion that i lost long ago, weather it be sports, art, or even just enjoying myself. That fire comes in a burns strong like a hurrican, But when it is done leaves nothing hopeless dreams. Fire is nothing but power, power people take for granted. Use it to there advantage when they see other people are weak. Fire is nothing but a liar which i why i always carry a bucket of water.
May 25, 2014
May 25, 2014 at 12:02 PM UTC
When thing going the best
just be prepared becuase out of no where
it can turn in to a mess
I have had some tough times
becuse of these rough time you must climb
this when you dig deep and start to rhyme
It takes a little time but you will be fine
if you give it your all these
is know way you can fall
Mar 19, 2014
Mar 19, 2014 at 2:42 PM UTC
"Go to sleep"
I say to my tired soul,
but it woldn't,
becuse it is lost,
and it has to find
it's way back home
before the clock
turn 12 midnight,
or else,
she will remain stuck
to broken promises
and solitude.
Jul 1, 2015
Jul 1, 2015 at 9:17 AM UTC
That is what you call me.
I'm your "dear one".
At first that made me cry
Knowing that I forced you to care
Manipulated you into thinking I am anything worth anything or anyone caring about.
Then I got to know you.
Realize how you saw me.
I bonded with you more and cared for you in return.
Now I almost smile at the mention of me being your "dear one".
Because I am now honored that someone so amazing as you can care for me
And at times, I even think that I'm worth caring about.
So this is for my dear one, becuse I care about you too.
And you are so much more than what you label and limit yourself as.
And even if the breath has left my soulless body, I will always be here for you.
Apr 6, 2014
Apr 6, 2014 at 2:58 PM UTC
I haven't written in a while
Because I've been kidding myself that I'm okay.
But the truth is
I only feel when I am about to decay.
I write becuse it makes sense
When my thoughts do not.
But when I cover it up
I do too well.
I actually believe it.
But then I'm worse when I break, because I actually believed I had fixed a part of myself.
My biggest problem though, is fixing a part of me with you. Because then I break so much more when something goes wrong.
And I break
Crumble
Shatter.
And it's worse because its not just You. It's Him. And Them.
And nothing is going right right now
So I write.
Because I can't cry.
Because I refuse to be that weak.
I refuse to be who I was. Yet I won't let her go.
But right now
I'm broken
And bruised
And scarred
In pieces
Alone.
Mar 16, 2014
Mar 16, 2014 at 2:28 PM UTC
Diagnosed and frightened ,
Yea im a recovering addict I sdmit it
One year plus if you care to count days I dont
What matters is mindfully being here in this moment
I grasp it it
I have mental health issues as well I accept it
But my latest diagnosis Trigeminal Neurolgia just too much
Not going to give up or surrender just another pile of shot added,to me
I will survive I will continue being sober
I am whing about this I get it
This isn't even a,poem so what
It's me and it's real and I just need,to get it out
What is truly real is this moment
Please ne mindful of this moment becUse it is all we truly ever have and all moments add up to a day a week a year a,life
Relish it live it be,present with it
Whether it be pain happiness or love or hate
My pain from my new diagnoses is hurtful new Meds help but sometimes through all of this I just want to know the base root cause of it all
That's it and enjoy the moment accept the pain the happiness the fear don't resist accept and move on otherwise it may consume you
Jan 24, 2017
Jan 24, 2017 at 3:15 PM UTC
im only happy with her
i cant figure out why
when im all alone
i just want to die
the happiness is fading
my smile is gone
everything seems useless
im up until dawn
her magic is fading
tears flow down my cheek
i cant find my happiness
my future seems bleak
blades to cope
pills to escape
thoughts to destroy me
eyes to see a mistake
they think i can be helped
but im way to far gone
ive rationalized death
i have no reason to go on
suicide scares me
not becuse of death
because if i live
ill be forced to take a breath
i dont see a reason to live
i just dont understand
why do they want me here
why do they keep me in this land
Apr 29, 2016
Apr 29, 2016 at 8:51 AM UTC
Pian
Pian
The scars on my wrists are reminders.
The fresh cuts sting and burn, The red of my blood brings me release of pain that I feel inside. The pain of the sharp and the sight of the blood, it reminds me that I’m alive. But now it just there, there is no pain just numb.
Pain
I’m not scared of death.
No on the contrary I invite it with open arms.
No I’m scared of living. The thought of life is what chills me to the bone. That feeling that I don’t live up to society's standards. That I’ll be treated diffrently if I don’t fit the description of a cis girl.
Pain
It comes in the form of a dress, of long hair, of makeup, of *******
It does not come in the form of a broken limb or a gun wound.
It is not a physical pain. Though it can be more inhabilitating than a broken leg. You no longer have the strength or will to get out of bed. Or even live anymore.
Pain
It comes from those who do not understand
It comes from words spoken about you but not to you. It comes from betrail of the highest form. That of a friend, of a lover, of family. They talk. Thats what gives you the power to take those pills. To bury the knife so deep in your wrist they can’t take it out. To put that rope necklace on and push away the only thing holding you up.
Pain
It is the friends you push away that can’t help you
It’s the feeling of pure depression. It’s not a sickness that you can see. You don’t cough, you don’t have a sniffly nose, you aren’t pale, you don’t have a fever of 127. You are so tierd becuause if you sleep you dream but can’t call it dreaming. It’s only nighmares.
Pain
It’s not what you think it is.
It’s like a friend who never leaves. Deppression lives with you and you can’t escape it. It slowly invades your sleep and every waking second.
Pain
For me my deppression is my body
My skinny waist, big hips, and big ******* From my round face to my girly voice. My shortness and my slender hands and tiny feet. My deppression is my Dysphoria. She huants me when I look in the mirror. I see it in the faces of my friends. So I push them away.
Pain
It’s feeling so loney that it feels as tough you can’t go on any more
It’s pushing away your friends when you need them the most becuse you don’t wan to hurt them if you do leave. And you consider making life better for everyone including yourself by ending it all. Those pills, that blade, the knife, or the necklace of rope makes you feel free.
Pain
No more PAIN
No more PAIN
NO MORE PAIN
PAIN
Jan 18, 2021
Jan 18, 2021 at 11:07 PM UTC
capris in the summer
not because i like to
but becuse i have to
it seems silly because all people wear shorts
but not me
because i was a cutter
and the scars are hidious
so i go on like everyone else
just wearing capris in the summer
Feb 7, 2018
Feb 7, 2018 at 10:58 AM UTC