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hi dudes




i am enjoying watching neighbours at the moment because it teaches that people don’t trust

anyone who ever messes with kids, yeah, i dealt with it, i didn’t know it at the time but i dealt with it

at the time i thought they were rich ****** but i have to be careful as i can’t seem to get past this

i am just in the same boat as steph, you see she was worried about losing her son, and me, i wanted

to be with the cool kids down the mall, now, dudes, i haven’t caused many problems lately and i am ready

for and nonsense teasingt, i think that neighbours is being thorough in showing how people who hassles

children get treated, once a man looked at me weird just for sitting next to his daughter and he said mate

kids are innocent and then said i know all about ya, it taught i will never be a father or family man and people

tell me to stop looking at their babies, with the words, get ya fucken eyes off my baby, when i ain’t looking at their

fucken baby, young teenagers tell me to stop staring, but they just don’t want me staring, i don’t think they knew me

but steph is being tortured in her mind by situations that make her crazy, especially when you can’t change the past

and steph, as well as me, should be left alone to get better, you see what these people who tease you don’t realise

is, steph as well as me are dealing with, finding it hard to get past their past, especially when i was being teased like

being given wee, nobody wanted to party in nightclubs with me, or a goofy friend with anger management issues,

you see i am never going to have kids

nobody wants me because i am ugly and they can’t trust me

it’s worst for steph cause her issues with kids were close to her

you see i got grabbed outside the charnwood inn and i ran through civic saying FUCKEN STOP HASSLING ME

steph is feeling the same way, but she hears green sleeves, over and over and dudes, she is getting teased by a ****

yeah you heard me right, A BIG RICH ****, she got a phone call saying it was charlie, but it appears not, and then

another woman who is also is a BIG RICH ****, had a son Charlie, and she said she wanted the extra and then

she came back and said she never asked for it, and there was no Charlie, and yes, she was a BIG RICH ****, don’t ever

think that kind of teasing is cool, because it ain’t, remember what hannah montana said, everybody makes mistakes

everybody has those days, and NOBODY’S PERFECT,   you see i would like to see steph do a bit of buddhist positive suffering

to show the world, how many problems the mentally ill deal with each today, if she loses her job, who cares, it teaches the crowd that

mentally ill people are just getting treated like hobos, you see, ya know, no matter what i did, people do many worst  things than me

like armed robberies, and some people **** kids, me or steph never killed them, you see if we saw steph suffer a bit on the show

it teaches the world how awful people who have a mental problem and a past have to deal with it, you see my writing is good

still mentally ill, my art is talented, still mentally ill, i get reviews i don’t like i a man said i was ******* but i think my shows are cool

and i have a very chronic mental illness, perhaps i have to wait till my next life to get jobs or have fun with kids, oh well,

but i am grateful to channel 10 are using steph to show how mentally ill people suffer

i know what i did, but i am doing art and theatre go to poetry slams do shows on youtube

go to the christmas carols watching parades on youtube, and i helped mentally ill people have a meal when the BIG RICH *****

have forgotten about or teasing, you see the country we live in don’t give a flying **** about the mentally ill, the teasers start the problems

of the person by doing a harmless little tease, only to BIG FAT RICH *****, steph from neighbours is the mentally ill’s skate goat

my advice to you, don’t go to people’s homes  all it might send your voices going haywire, i am happy that channel 10 is using steph

to show the world what mentally ill people are going through, and instead of seeing steph go back to the psych ward, how about

the world gives her a case manager and loads of activites like bowling and golf, they do it on the family sitcoms, i just am so tired of

channell 10 are so blind when it comes to mental illness, the mentally ill need community care on the show neighbours, ok
Deepali Jan 2023
Growing is Important to understand
elements of human cycle
proceeding day by day to stand.

Choose yourself as  pilot,
Choose youself as carpenter
you can be a chef or a farmer
i will see you'll be a painter
i will see you'll be a writer

he was braking the wall will hammer
she was flying up in Glamor.

1 human body
many activites shouting
pointers tryna make difference
developement and character well i would say----

Follow basic instructions no pain to gain
only baisc  balance will remain.
like a fireplace she gave me a spark, knowing I needed the light.  

Starting as just a ember, I soon became Bright, It was to Her, in which I surrendered.

she watched me patiently, despite the pain on which I brought her, because of the choices I made,  I should have been stronger.  she is always forgiving, and always understanding, no matter who you are, She thought my old activites, where quite bizzare.

I was wreckless, selfish on how I act, She said that  "it was responsibiliy  that I had  lacked". I gave her arrogance, I gave her attitude, I made her worry, she laughed and joked on how this would be a journey.

She looks for answers she could not find above, she give me hope, she gives me meaning, She is Love.

By now I've began to notice, with a small diagnosis, that she begins to cave, because she is human to, she became emotions slave.

I was not the reason, for I know her inside and out, I was by her side, without a doubt.

Wanting to give back that spark she gave me oh so long ago,

I reach out to her, trying to feed her dying flame, It was the constant barrage of feelings that where to blame.

So I sit here trying to rekindle her heart, but with the current obstacles, we slowly drifted apart.
Jon Penn Mar 2018
No direction anywhere yet I know just to take it day-by-day
No direction anywhere while I wonder if it’s even needed
If direction isn’t simply for the weak
If the real option isn’t just in letting go

Writing these lines at 10 am in Barcelona
No fixed plan but to live day-by-day
Look into my shadow and see the reason behind this short of breath
Deciding to get some proper rest before facing the day,
I put my alarm at 11.30 am

Responsibilty
Respons-ability
The ability to respond
Not mapping out your entire life
Moment to moment having the ability to respond
Day-by-day without direction
The most responsible way you can live

Phone on silent sleeping through
1.30 pm as I open my eyes
Back to being depressed as I desperatey try and tell myself that it’s okay
That it really isn’t so bad what I’m feeling
Not believing myself,
dreading that day-by-day will never enough
my religion, my holy grail
The daily question of ”what is the right choice today?”
No path laid out, no decided way to walk
Nobody giving you orders nor pushing yourself for a goal
The act for the act itself
A freedom obligating yourself the constant question of,
”what is the right choice today?”

I wake up to the alarm as I hear her roommate in the kitchen
Dreading the encounter desperately hoping she will accept me as I’m afraid to look her in the eyes
Hating the fact that I just know she sees the state I’m in
The anxiety written all over my face
Surely thinking, ”what is wrong with this guy?”
This guy with no direction in life

Day-to-day, waking up in Barcelona
No fixed plan but knowing the time has come to look into my shadow
Day-to-day, propelling me to write poems
Do serious introspection, forcing me to be fully alive

I leave the kitchen with the implications it might have
Of being this guy who’s not more than what is presented in this very moment
Wondering how much it has to do with a lack of direction
Yet I wouldn’t want any
Nor could I try and force one on me would I want to
The only option being to come to terms with the fact that I have no idea what tomorrow will bring
Where I will be in one month, what I will do in one year
Life is not to be controlled but to be unfolded before your eyes
And if the prize for that is angst
What at times seems to be an everlasting short of breath
Then I choose the uncertainty of life
Rather than force a direction
A direction from my logical mind which doesn’t know ****, anyway

Writing the poem sooths me, as I for a moment accept my faith as the aimless drifterer
I ask a pretty girl outside the book store what she’s reading
Another girl inside only speaking Catalan if she’s finding anything interesting
Before passing by a punk with purple hair begging for money
”How are you?” I ask her looking at her five cups spread out
One for food, one for tattoos, another for vet, and two more for alkohol and ****

Take the anxiety as it comes with all my freedom
Sit down in the dark with a candle as long as it takes
Letting the emotions have their run
Only to wake up the next day with the very same question,
”What is the right choice today?”
No pre-conceptions, no judgement, no saying I should do this or that
Response-ability
Let my instincts guide me, moment to moment being all there is
Not as in watching Youtube or other so-called escapes
Fully engage and if you can’t,
take the huge amount of responsability needed of living day-to-day
Not falling into activites being about life rather meant to be lived another day
Unless, and if you can all the power to you, if you you can watch that kitty-clip with all your heart

What direction could I possibly choose anyway
Go to school
I love my freedom too much
Be a ***
Not really a direction
Neither is traveling
Work as bike messenger
More of a paid hobby
Be a poet
That’s not something you choose
A poker player
Not really something to choose
Devote myself to creative processes
But I wonder if I’m just fumbling in the dark
Desperately trying to hold on to something
When the reality is…
Sometimes Starr May 2019
The sensation of separate complices
A summation of neural activites,
Wherein lies the experience,
Out of which unfolds an impossible self
Into which leaks a necessitated calamity

You are a walking catastrophe
Better stick to harmony
Best to learn some theory
Blue note, blue note, rest.
It's just a theory but it's really like science
Such clarity is in the air
When those clouds disappear
There is a much better feeling
So pleasant and sincere
One can carry on with activites
With felicity and jubilation
An area that was once filled with ambiguity
Is now primed for pure satisfaction
Stop trying to live your dreams vicariously through your kids.
I cannot keep up with all these assignments,
I cannot keep up with all these extracurricular activites
I can't keep up
Because you couldn't do it yourself

— The End —