"And for the first time in a long time I found a hope I once lost to a storm, a happiness I knew I had, but needed to find again."
Isnt it hard to breathe
underneath all that mask?
I ask my self daily,
while I listen to the world,
but hide myself in my shell.
Insecurity:
discouragement of one's true beauty,
an adornment courtesy
of too many misplaced trusts
in society's lust for perfection.
The idea,
planted false notion in me,
a seed of deceit,
one I taught myself to believe;
to question who I am.
How much am I worth?
Am I something artificial?
Somedays I don't feel real.
My doubt undermines my potential.
How do you know if your good enough?
My mind has no answer;
but the heart knows I already am.
I just need to learn to listen,
not be so stubborn minded,
less susceptible to belittling self.
Its hard you know,
when youve been told,
by yourself your whole life,
that you are coal,
instead of diamonds.
Ive been my harshest critic,
forgiving of others
but often unforgiving
of my own mistakes.
Not allowing myself to heal.
Ironic,
to be so sensitive to others
but ignorant of my self,
my own brutal teacher
of lessons in self esteem.
I had to reclaim the cofidence,
I exchanged at an early age
for inferiority, insecurity.
I had to learn to love myself, a hard lesson,
but one worth all the trouble I experienced.
Now I am no longer the girl
searching for someone else,
but a woman who has found herself.
I have learned to be kinder to me.
Accept myself as I am; love me unconditionally.
©achosenword
The war between low self esteem, and self love and self acceptance is a constant battle, one I am determined to win.
