How do you manage to transform
A tsunami like me
Into tranquil waters.

I don't need a lullaby.

I'm tired of being told to sleep it off and that it'll all be better tomorrow because sometimes you wake up feeling as desperate (if not more so) than before.

Pretty lyrics aren't going to remedy ugly scathing words and a soft, slow melody isn't going to cover up the irregular sound of a heart trying to beat in a rhythm it doesn't remember.

So kindly stop trying to force me to enjoy a happy tune I don't want to sing and give me a song that's honest and angry and raw like I am because at least then I don't have to pretend everything is just fine.

Talking to you
today
was wonderful
I haven't had so much fun
in a while.
I smiled
and
felt free.
We even have twitches
in common!

Now I'm home
wishing that
you would
leave him
for me
and
I
know
that it won't happen
at all
and that is what
scares me to death.

i'm still trying to figure out how to tell someone i love
that i don't want to exist anymore on this earth
how are you supposed to say that
killing yourself sounds like a better option than suffering through life with half a mind

i think about what people would do if i were to die
would they cry?
would they pretend they were my friend and wish they'd talked to me longer?
i don't think feigning relationships is such a good way to say goodbye
but hell
at least i'd be known to have a lot of friends

it makes me sad to think that my body has gotten so tired
that i fall asleep in my classes when i used to be the only one awake
it's almost like i'm 80 years old on the inside and my heart is failing with my lungs
and i'm 16 on the outside with bags the shades of night
i'm peppered with bruises the colour of magenta but i find they bring me comfort
it lets me know i'm not the only thing breaking

my veins are too

How much does life weigh?
Twenty-one grams, they say
In those twenty-one grams,
Can it be measured?
All the memories, thoughts,
And experiences treasured

Writers are brave
for every time they write,
they rip their chests open,
and let the world know
what is inside their hearts.