Ever felt like absolutely nothing is going your way?
Like you've tried so hard, yet they don't hear a word you say.
You do your best, yet still no recognition,
It just doesn't feel like my life, seems more like fiction.
Everything is going wrong and I don't know how to feel,
Is this really my life? These emotions seem so surreal.
I used to be so happy, now life's filled with strife.
"There goes the girl with the smile" , they'd say.
"she must have a good life".
If only they knew what I really feel like.
A roller coaster of emotions bottled on the inside.
What you see, is not who I am,
But I guess that's just life.
At least I have my pen and page,
That "something" that keeps me from showing all this rage.
I seem to be pretty good at giving advice,
Seeing that people keep coming back.
But why do I feel like i'm helpless, i'm useless,
Just an old dusty book that's shelved on the rack.
At least I have my best friends
So loyal and true they are.
They help me deal with my emotions
And heal each painful scar.
I'm really grateful for them, otherwise my life would have been a mess.
I'm trying to focus on the positives
And lay the negatives to rest.
This is my life that i'm living
MY LIFE that was meant for ME to live.
So why am I wasting it being all depressed.
I need to stop doing this to myself,
I deserve better than all this mental torture
I need to smile and give myself a break
Before these thoughts of mine, will begin to shake.
I need to stop looking for excuses,
Because all this procrastinating has got me blaming.
I'm supposed to live a happy life
But why don't I feel that way?
I swear nothings going right, everyday things change.
Happiness is a choice it all depends on ourselves
So I'm going to try and see if it works.
Those words the screenplay of my life.
Each day is an oppurtunity, dare to make use of it.
That much will benefit me I know
I just need to listen to myself more I guess
So why does it seem so hard
Haters are always going to be there,
So its no use casting the blame on them.
This, is all me, a choice to be made.
Where I have to decide.
Decide to stop being morbid, sad and depressed,
Decide to change my life and the way I react to things.
Its all up to me.  Me. Me.
The choice is mine.

Sometimes you open yourself up to a person because you feel and believe that they're different and maybe this time they won't break your heart and that your love will be requitted. So you go out on a limb and open up so much of yourself to this person. Things that you're afraid to tell others about because of fear of being judged or rejected. But there's just something about this person that allows you to tell them everything. You become so comfortable in the presence of that person that you openly admit your flaws, you don't hide it. You just completely lose yourself in love and in the thought and concept of being loved, of being in a relationship and of being with someone that you can be yourself with. The idea of that person just completely excites you and everything about them makes you happy. Seeing them and hearing their voice just helps you in an inexplicable manner and being with them is an emotion of complete comfortability on its  own. You learn to love this person and you accept their flaws and differences. You accept how they might not necessarily love eating McDonalds as much as you do or they are crazy about sci-fi movies where you can't even get yourself past watching a chick flick.
But that's just it, you don't mind.
You don't mind because love is about sacrifices.
Its about sacrificing your weekly episode of The Vampire Diaries to watch the most recent sports updates.

Because you'd rather lose the argument than to lose the person. You'd sacrifice a part of your daily routine all for love. The worst part is that nothing is guaranteed. You're not guaranteed how long you will be in a relationship with this person. You're not guaranteed complete happiness and you're not guaranteed that things are going to be perfect. You just have to trust this person and have faith. Believe the best and hope that everything will work out for the. Best. Believe that even if you break up with this person, that you're going to be ok. Everything is going to be ok, and that new beginnings are perfectly acceptable. Believe that you're going to overcome heartbreak of any kind. You just have to believe that someone out there is looking for someone like you.
What others see Wrong in you just might be the exact thing that will make someone else fall in love with you. And you need to be realistic. Not all relationships last forever. Some relationships are there for lessons and experiences. So that very person that you completely open yourself up to, can break your heart. It could be during or even after the relationship.

But its all part of life I guess. You'll never know how to love someone wholeheartedly if you haven't been hurt before. You just have to turn your heartbreak in to something positive, make the most out of your situation. See the light in the darkness. But learn to deal with things too. Find closure in what happened to you and don't leave a relationship with unfinished business. Because unfinished business will have to be finished sooner or later, and I think sooner is better. Allow yourself time to heal too. Opening yourself up to someone that much can hurt you a lot, and everything you had with that person will be completely lost in an instant. And you're gonna need to come to terms with that. Remember that what's meant to be , will be.

Love, is a complicated thing, and you're never quite sure how things could possibly turn out to be. You're just gonna go out on a limb each time hoping for the best and patiently waiting for your happily ever after with a special person.

you said that
you love it when it rains.
little did you know that
it rains
whenever i shed a tear.
maybe that's why
you seem happy
even if i'm hurt;
you enjoy
whenever i cry.
and i'll always end up
exchanging your sorrow
for my euphoria,
in hopes of you
loving the rain—
me, my tears, and my pain.