Ever felt like absolutely nothing is going your way?
Like you've tried so hard, yet they don't hear a word you say.
You do your best, yet still no recognition,
It just doesn't feel like my life, seems more like fiction.
Everything is going wrong and I don't know how to feel,
Is this really my life? These emotions seem so surreal.
I used to be so happy, now life's filled with strife.
"There goes the girl with the smile" , they'd say.
"she must have a good life".
If only they knew what I really feel like.
A roller coaster of emotions bottled on the inside.
What you see, is not who I am,
But I guess that's just life.
At least I have my pen and page,
That "something" that keeps me from showing all this rage.
I seem to be pretty good at giving advice,
Seeing that people keep coming back.
But why do I feel like i'm helpless, i'm useless,
Just an old dusty book that's shelved on the rack.
At least I have my best friends
So loyal and true they are.
They help me deal with my emotions
And heal each painful scar.
I'm really grateful for them, otherwise my life would have been a mess.
I'm trying to focus on the positives
And lay the negatives to rest.
This is my life that i'm living
MY LIFE that was meant for ME to live.
So why am I wasting it being all depressed.
I need to stop doing this to myself,
I deserve better than all this mental torture
I need to smile and give myself a break
Before these thoughts of mine, will begin to shake.
I need to stop looking for excuses,
Because all this procrastinating has got me blaming.
I'm supposed to live a happy life
But why don't I feel that way?
I swear nothings going right, everyday things change.
Happiness is a choice it all depends on ourselves
So I'm going to try and see if it works.
Those words the screenplay of my life.
Each day is an oppurtunity, dare to make use of it.
That much will benefit me I know
I just need to listen to myself more I guess
So why does it seem so hard
Haters are always going to be there,
So its no use casting the blame on them.
This, is all me, a choice to be made.
Where I have to decide.
Decide to stop being morbid, sad and depressed,
Decide to change my life and the way I react to things.
Its all up to me.  Me. Me.
The choice is mine.