Do I dare let you in
the garden inside me,
The sparrows are dead their tunes left unsung,
Dying waiting to be set free,
In a prison of rusty gates that
never open,
Flowers sacrifice their petals to
time,
The wind stealing them greedily
the only one that sings in this
shrouded wilderness
Kept sacred in the essence no longer
living,
The gates are open do you dare
walk in.

(Barbara Green)
A child so small
so vulnerable and weak
helpless, powerless
not allowed to speak.
Lying awake in bed
knowing he'll soon appear
Frightened and trapped
living a torturous nightmare.
Body is shaking
trembling with-in
preparing for
the terrible acts of sin.
Left all alone
with no-one in sight
The abused child cries silently
all through the night.

How does one heal
from such a horrible crime?
The scars, the damage
lasts a lifetime.
Emotionally I struggle
to make it through
Not knowing Why?
I feel and act the way I do.
The tragedy is over
but the turmoil is still there
I wonder, If my outbursts
is a way to see if anyone cares.
Please! God help me
I cry out
with so much anguish
fear and doubt.

Tightness in my chest
I cant breath.
The only time I can escape
is when I fall asleep.

Constant nausea
constant fear.
How did this happen
knowing I'm safe here?

It's a constant worry
another will strike.
I worry about it all the time
it makes me lose my appetite.

My sight darkens
my life flashes.
My worries control my thoughts
my heart crashes and burns to ashes.

You have no idea what its like
to live one day in my shoes.
Maybe if you did
you wouldn't judge me as you do

summer nights
fairy lights
women rights
skinny tights
we ended up with
lovers' fights

plain as day
you took away
a sunshine ray
left me with
no words to say

feelings fade
a girl's parade
to hold her head high
and hide the mess you made

He came into my life
when I was just a little girl
I was happy and young
And then he changed my world

One night I was in bed
And he came to say goodnight
except he took a little longer
before he turned out the light

He really hurt me that night
And I didn't know what to do
I thought it happened to most
well every little boy and girl

I lay in bed that night
Hurting inside and out
tears streaming down my face
I tried hard not to shout out

I put that tragic night
to the back of my head
playing games at school
there was nothing to be said

A year had passed along
and then it happened again
My mum was out at work
it was him and me again

I was sat next to him
just watching the TV
when he pulled me close to him
and again molested me

I thought it only happened once
When I had done something bad
but now I knew I was wrong
I felt alone and sad

And 8 years on I got
the courage to tell someone
the police got involved and stuff
I was hated by my mum

she kicked me out that day
and stuck right by his side
saying I was attention seeking
and that it was all lies

so in the end it got too much
and I told the police I lied
everything went back to normal
I swear I wish I'd died

everything was going well
until he sent me those texts
saying he would **** himself
it was all my fault instead

so I went back to the police
and told them it all again
he's moved out for now
its investigating time again

but my mum still hates me
and thinks its all a lie
I feel so alone right now
I wish I would just die

I've told a couple of friends
but its hard for them you see
to put up with something as stupid
as a teenager like me

all I do is mope and cry
because no-one understands
what I feel inside each day
please someone take my hand

I cut myself sometimes
When the pain gets too much
I hate him for what he did
and where he used to touch

I often think I'll run away
or step into the road
my future seems so black and dim
I'm only 17 years old

And if the case is dropped
he will come back home again
and I'll be back to where I began
In a world of sadness and pain

I hope someone hears my cry
and says they understand
I just don't know what to do anymore
I'm scared and on my own

So you see I'm stuck forever
I just want to scream and shout
But there's something you have to know
That for me, there's no way out

Standing tall with this hands behind his back,
Entangled together, quivering for a thrill
Tyranny carved into his mind
Eyes locked, craving and yearning,
For vicious power and complete corruption.
It's only what a cold person would want,
Cold eyes, cold hands, a cold presence...
A dark evil
That speaks for itself
Its own brand of cruel,
Where there's no such thing as a weakness.
It’s the kind of brutality that should have no control
But did for so long...
Without notice
His existence killed,
Make the veins rush through your body by just the thought
Of people trying to find the oxygen that he wouldn't dare to give,
But filling their lungs with gas instead
With those unforgiving eyes,
That could shutter
And those corrupt hands,
That could destroy
17 million innocent lives,
Gone forever
All because
Of a forbidden evil,
That lies in the ground,
Buried but existing.

Sometimes it happen
We lose our control
No one can escape
But believe your heart
Listen to your heart
Leave your thoughts
Which are poisonous
Don't let your mind take over
Say yourself calm down
Because anger causes
Destruction
Which can completely
Destroy a relation
Beware of your anger

I have
   big dreams

        and a  
            realistic mind.

You
     can
  only
         imagine
               the
  frustration.

If I could sing
You'd throw me back
Say I'm not a keeper
Cuz I can't sing
Your song anyhow.

But if I could
I'd be singing
Something sweeter
To make you cling
To me...all day long.

If I could sing
You'd throw me away
Call me a dreamer
And there's not a thing
I could say to say you're wrong.

When I sing
Toss me into your river
Cuz I'm a dreaming swimmer
I could swim in your water
All night long.

r ~ 5/4/14