I could hypnotize you with my demonic eyes
and it still wouldn't be enough for you to love me

it was always you who made me laugh and question life
the birds weren't flying for the broken people yesterday
and sometimes being crazy was all what made me feel normal

you make me feel afraid but also make me feel myself
you make me wanna cut my veins and cry my eyes out

the devil itself was made of more beauty than I was
he gave me his eyes but I couldn't compete with his soul

so maybe you were right to leave me standing there
or maybe I was wrong chasing you after you did left me

you were the light in my life but also my darkness

Be fooled not by shame
Lust is not always a sin
When brought on by love

I am cold.

And all I wish is to crawl into a bed with you.
It does not matter to me if the bed is warm
We can heat it with our love,
Blazing hot/

I am cold.

And all I wish for is you.

me.gs

Soft summer breezes
Floating in through the windows,
Cool my heated skin.

me.gs

just saw the pattern
of friendship
one person dominates
others listen
like a male wolf
in the company of
female wolves...

Sometimes you sit empty
bleeding out
red on the rug.

They cling to the earth
like lichens
in deep meditation

Lophophora williamsii.
Fallen warriors sprinkled
throughout the blackbrush and mesquite
there in the valley of the Rio Grande.

They whisper to you
as you roam that arid slab of ground
and spin like Van Gogh
in the night sky
while you sleep.

They call you this way
and that
lead you in directions
you did not intend.

In the dry washes
beware
rattlesnakes wait in every thin patch
of shade

and at night
lightning switches the lights on
and off
and on again.

Once the spirit
of this unassuming succulent
enters into you
accepts you
uplifts you
the sky opens
and reveals the pulsing heart of
God's creation
speaking softly in tongues
heard only at the beginning.

It is glory then.

I'm sorry

*that's what I would've told you
if only I had the courage
if only I could turn back time
if only I wasn't sad all the time

I was living for the nights where I didn't cry myself to sleep
the days were my stomach wasn't filled with medication I didn't need

it was like you all stopped caring about me when my eyes went dark
you were afraid of me and I could understand why, I was afraid too

making fun of yourself in a non self harming way is one thing I couldn't
self harming in a way it was fun for the both of us, is what I always could

mama told you it was because of the friends you made outside
the truth is I don't have a clue about what she is talking, friends?

so there once was a girl and everyone thought she was special
a rare kind of special, you could look at her and forget all your misery

your daddy never loved you and thats why you are so ****** up
your family abandoned you and now you are here all alone, again

but don't you worry pretty thing, nobody will cry for you this time

always talking about trying to fix us, always talking, never actions

the people in her home town told her she was going to hell
and she always smiled because maybe hell is where she belonged

sick of hiding and always trying to fit into this messed up broken world
maybe this little thing was enough for her to go away for good..

because at this tiny magical moment where you stopped caring about me
so did I.