how does one get a wink of sleep
when at 11 am tomorrow morning
i'll be sporting the latest hospital gown
being picked apart like a game of operation
while i'm high off who knows what they put in
those **** needles that knock you straight
to counting multi colored sheep

i used to be curious, full of questions
always wandering what more i could
possibly soak in like a sponge,
knowledge is power they said.

it's probably killed 7 of my 9 lives,
turned teammates into mazes, lovers
into strangers, pandora's box laughs
in my face every **** time.
(so i'll be careful with these last two lives)
quite frankly i'd like to wave my white
flag with knowledge- my bones are
too weak to fight you any further

i know what hanging on looks like
avoiding red flags so large they could blur your vision blind

i wonder if people were as uncomfortable as i am right now knowing you're holding onto something fictional

and she's burning a **** hole through my skull with the glare she's shooting at me sharing innocent eye contact with him; I'm the last girl she actually should be worrying about- but i've been there, territorial when you start to catch on that the ground beneath you is falling right under your feet

i'm so sorry
i wouldn't wish that feeling upon my worst enemy;
realizing what gave you joy was never even real

God is good
- Happy homes make happy souls
- For a wound to heal you have to quit touching it
- Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn / all things grow
- Do not ******* forget who kicks you while you're down  
- The world will continue to spin if you are failing world mythology ****

toss turn toss turn toss turn
weight wait weight wait weight
push pull push pull push pull
go stay go stay go stay go stay
fingers throat fingers throat
oh please stay five more minutes
turn the sun switch off and throw
your blue blanket over my eyes
i am drowning in a sea of sheets
and thirty eight daily battles but
you took away my anchor so i've
drifted off the grid with no boat
water lungs water lungs water
water lungs water lungs breathe in
sink sink sink sink sink sink sink

if you see something say something
if you break something fix something
if you hurt someone apologize to someone
if you love someone kiss someone
if you rip something tape something
if you question something ask something
if you hate something do something

but sometimes things are easier said than done and i'm so emotionally exhausted i could collapse and evaporate; but i'm an ***** donor it's alright take what's left of me

empty eyes and little lies
i used to know your name
little talks and skittle walks
i hate these kind of games

savannah's dead it's in my head
maybe i'm to blame

my thoughts tangle and slide down the small of your back while i can't help but laugh one more time because i just can't stop looking at the way you smile back at me when i can't keep it together because you've slapped the most unattainable grin onto my face

but my senses will give me that dreaded early wake up call and I know you wish I'd just push that snooze button one more time, and truly i'm sorry that my heart was thrown into his old smoothie blender and you're left trying to clean up this mess of strawberries and morning sunshine licking what's left off your finger tips