When pain shrieked into droplets of tears
Hardly I knew ever it will sublime in air
Vapors of dead past gone dried
When will I come out of past and
Climb the ladder of present.
Am I going to soak and rinse in bubbles of past?
I know not where I am going right now for sure!

© 2016 Geetha Jayakumar
All rights reserved.

You've expressed you feel a ****** disconnect.
Feel yourself some kind of alien pilot.
What's love in this, this human shell?
What's self-respect, esteem as well?
You're ******* weird and that's okay with me.
You told me for the first time, I'm queer.
That's cool. If I'm your ******, you're my ace pilot.
You're ace as **** default, I'm gray ace at best.
Why do we sit this dusty rock ridge between worlds?
If you're one, I've seen this alien's appeal.
The most delicious sight of your skin shown will have to go on ignored. And that's fine. That's fine.
I'm your little ******.
You're my ace pilot.
And that's fine.

they spit gold; expect
you to fall in love; maybe some do
they will, i can't
Raw is real, found between lines of silence,
not orders of gin & tonic,
not flashing lights but light of soul,
incandescent, all that shade lets in
all that warmth, in subtle gaze
we yearn for in winter
i yearn for you: most days

i do not understand
i     do    not     understand

how can someone brighten all your darkness
yet strip away your light
how can someone fix all your broken pieces
yet break them more than ever
how can someone promise to stay by your side
yet abandon you at the first opportunity
how can someone leave you when they said they wouldn't
yet expect you to be there when they crawl back
how can someone tell you that you don't care about them
yet you have told them countless times you care more than ever
how can someone tell you they will just forget about you
yet you could never erase them from your memory

i just do not understand
how can love be such a contradiction

s.s