Lighting a candle before my bedside,
I slip a small piece of my past
underneath the brass holder
to catch the waxy overflow.

A pink envelope addressed to
(my love)
encases the torn and tattered teardrop-filled
piece of stationery paper.

Your words mush together with the
slight scent of beeswax and sage
and my mind wanders off to an unknown place

3 am:
Awaking to the smell of
an almost-smoke
burning my nostrils

burning my curtains
Is this what it was like
loving me?

Loving you was an ongoing river
each rush getting away from me
the second I felt it
while the rocks, the biggest burdens,
stay in place,
unmoved, unsolved

The light of the candle flickers
as I watch the fiery masterpiece
flow over the room

I lit the candle before my bedside.
I knew the consequences,
repercussions
of loving you.

I drove you home thinking how about how much I did not want the night to end,
It was quiet, save for the ambient noise as we drove through the freeway,
I glanced over at you, your face, your thoughts,
a  mystery.
You said to me “Do you ever just listen to the silence?”
and then suddenly it was as if I was in a special place,
a special place I only knew of,
a secret chamber I retreat to,
and yet you so effortlessly walked into it,
perhaps you already knew of this place,
perhaps you already knew of the silence,
perhaps you had been there far before I had,
these thoughts raced through my  head,
I replied to you after a few seconds of reflection,
“yes, I do listen to the silence”

At the start of the day, I met a boy
I didn't know why, but I suddenly felt joy
He looked at me in the eye and warmly said hello
Not knowing that in the end, I would have to let him go

That afternoon, we agreed to stop by a cafe
Happily chatting nonstop, while time was slipping away
With the mellifluous music in the background, we filled the shop with our laughs
Then an epiphany occurred, I realized that I have to keep this memory by taking a few photographs

At nightfall, we exchanged numbers and decided to part ways
As he went to the opposite direction by walking backwards with his hands swaying as a sign of goodbye, I gazed
At that moment as I deeply stared into his eyes, I felt happiness- it was ineffable and little did I know, it was just ephemeral too
Because then I knew, my love is never going to come into his view

If you know
that it was not good enough
it's okay.
If you know
that it was your fault
it's okay.
If you know
that you are reaching a new low
it's okay.
It's okay because in the end,
it was you.
It was you
who picked up the pieces of your heart
It was you
who got up from the cold bathroom floor
It was you
who decided to get up this morning
and that is the strongest thing
a person
can do in their
lifetime.

I stopped looking both ways when I cross roads
In the end.
Nothing really matters,
Why should I even bother.
Crossing roads to get to your destination
In the end, no matter how much patience
You have. Somehow you will still
Be walking to your destination alone.
There's no points looking both ways crossing the road
There's no point breathing.

Father’s advice to son
(Sorry Mr. Hemingway)

Never trust a lawyer
Or a money lender too
Read fine print in every contract
Never buy it used but only new
Don’t sign up for the army
Only marry one good wife
Never write on Facebook
It will come back and ruin your life
Always despise the latest war
Only seek out  sweet girls with a smile.
Never buy or rent a *****
Never trust a gambler
He will steal your very last cent
Your landlord will evict you
Cos you can’t the rent.
So lead a good and wholesome life
And outlive all and every friend
See them all in the great beyond
When you’re prosperous old life will end.