I take the pain. Endure it all. All for you, I'd take the fall. They can take their shot, I'll take the hit. You won't get hurt, I'll make sure they'll miss. The blood I've shed. The battles I've fought. The pain I've took so you won't get caught. Through hell and back, I've made it through. To feel you again, to see your smile too. But my heart, my soul, I don't know how much more I can endure. This pain, it's eating me alive: an endless war. Can't I stop bleeding? To live in peace, with you, no hurting? But then again, no matter
what I'd have to go through, to see you happy is all I'd ever want for you.

             Because you're worth my pain.
             But I'm not invincibly strong.
             I don't know,
             How much longer
             I'll be able to hold on.  
  

                                                        r.n
                                                         X

It's been four days
I haven't heard his laugh
His voice
I haven't seen his smile
His hair
His eyes
I haven't felt his touch
His hands
His fingertips
It's been four days
But it feels like a year


r.n

a heart that's elsewhere
my heart that clings onto yours
unrequited love


                                                              ­ r.n

beautiful doesn't represent you
you represent beautiful

r.n

i crave your skin; your touch
i crave your hands
your smile
your eyes and how they crinkle when you laugh
i crave the me i am when i'm with you
i crave your lips; how they'd feel on mine
i crave your affection
i crave for you
and that's all i can do
crave

                                                                 r.n

"Have you had your first kiss?"
He asked
"I haven't, no."
I reply
Because I haven't found the one
The one I want to give it too
It may seem dumb
But it means a lot to me
And the only name I'd want to say when someone asks me if I had my first kiss or not ...
Is you.


r.n

He is no longer someone I admire
He isn't someone I can just "watch"
He is no longer someone I think is cute or adorable

He is someone I need
He is someone I crave
My skin
My hands
My lips
My heart
My thoughts;
His skin
His hands
His lips

My body burns
It aches
It craves

All
     For
         HIM


                                                                                                                r.n

I hate how my chest tightens when I see you I hate how my heart speeds up I hate how all the blood rushes to my cheeks I hate how your smile can make me happy in seconds I hate how you talk about her I hate your hands and how perfect they feel intertwined with mine I hate when your talking about your life and your eyes light up I hate when you run your hands through your hair I hate how cute you are I hate how you're all I think about I hate how you don't think of me I hate myself I hate you I hate how I don't hate you

I love you

                                                               r.n

I love You

oh,
how dear those eight letters
are to my heart

in a world
where I love You,
holds no meaning
tossed around, all around

growing up.
love wasn't something easily received, given
so as a result
the love held within my
physical,
mental,
fragile self
is something that is very limited. special.

to those that hold a space in my heart
know that my love for you is the purest
the dearest
for all i know is the love i've built up myself

for those with hearts overflowing with love,
share it with the world
make sure to tell those beautiful souls
just exactly how much love you have for them

say it with meaning
say it with power
show it with your actions
show it with words
feel it with your soul
feel it with bodies
say it with your heart
show it with your heart

feel it with your heart

**I love You

I've tried so hard,
So hard to keep it all in
But just seeing you isn't enough
Hearing your voice isn't enough
Nothing is enough anymore

I need to tell you
I need you to know
Every piece of you makes a mess of my mind

Your voice brings me happiness
Your smile lights up my day
Your laugh is contagious
And I can't help but laugh too
Your skin is so soft
I crave your touch

I need to tell you
Bc I need you to know
No matter how it'll end
Good or bad
I need to tell you
That

I love you.


                                                         ­                                                              r.n

I can't breathe
I'm suffocating
It hurts
My chest is on fire
It hurts it hurts
It hurts
My thoughts are a mess
It hurts I'm a mess
It hurts

Seeing you with her

                                                            ­   r.n

I've told you
It wasn't in the way I wanted
But now you know
And I'm so glad you do
I'm so glad I could tell you
How much I love you
Your eyes
Smile
Hands
Laugh
Because it was worth it
It was worth all those nights of
crying and craving
Because you know what
You felt the same


                                                                                                                         r.n

Quiet nights
Lonely nights
Lying alone
Wishing you were here
To hold me
But
You never will


r.n

"I love you and I'll never leave. To be with you, is my greatest dream," he said.


...


"I don't know what I'm feeling anymore. I'm sorry, I can't be with you," he said.


Maybe that's all I was: a dream, and he woke up.
But to me, he was a fantasy brought to life; my reality; my future; my hopes and inspirations; my love.

Time is something I'll never have enough of

The last year flew by
This year too, will soon

I've experienced so much in that time
Good and bad

And all for the better

I've experienced unrequited love
And heartbreak
I've experienced the thrill of parties and letting loose
I've experienced the pain of losing someone
I've realized that I need to be myself
I've realized I need to let go of the past and move on
I've realized that it's okay to love and trust again
I've made new friends
I've made new memories
I've made new stories I can tell
I've found peace with myself
I've found ... Love

The time I have left couldn't possibly be enough, but I'll make sure not to waste a second.

Love me forever,
I'll love you always.

A love more than love,
Forever and always.

I messed up
I ******* up
I'm sorry
I was just so excited
Excited to spend time with you
I'm sorry
I messed up
Don't hate me
Don't ignore me

I'm sorry


                                                                                                                     r.n

what is love?
is love the joy i get when i see you
is love the tears i cry when i miss you
is love the craving to see you everyday
is love wanting to be with you every minute, second
is love how i love that you inspire me
is love the cheesy jokes we laugh at together
is love the gentle kisses you give me
is love the smell of your cologne
is love the beautiful eyes i stare into as i watch you talk
is love painful
is love the best feeling ever
is love the crinkles in your eyes as you yawn
or the vibrations of your chest as you laugh
is love the fast, slow thumping of your heart
is love the warmth you give when you embrace me
is love the flushed cheeks i get when you tell me i'm beautiful
because if that is love
then let me tell you this
i am madly in love with you
so madly in love

He's making it worse
But it's because I like him that I can't stop it
Every word
Every laugh
I fall deeper and deeper in love
Because I like him so much it's bad
I want to see him, touch him, hold him
It's getting so much more worse
But as it gets worse
My love grows
And I can't handle it


r.n

I hurt you and I'm so sorry. I knew from the bottom of my heart. I knew that you liked him; but what am I supposed to do. What am I supposed to do when I like him too. I like him so much and I'm not willing  to give him up. He makes me a better me. I got my first kiss and you got heartbreak. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I made you feel like ****. I don't know what to do but I can't give him up. Not this one. All I can say is I'm sorry, but you had your chance.


r.n