5/8/2020

Everything I see between the blinks,
I write about connecting the links.
But my literal pen is out of ink,
And my brain is out of words to think.

I see a cactus growing high in the rocks,
A trunk in the creek, its pathway blocks,
A squirrel, stealthy as a fox,
***** dirt, that’s not a paradox.

I see blackened bark, recent scars,
I see the ugly remnants of cigars.
Loose boulders, bigger than cars,
Leafy branches, shaped like handlebars.

I see the clouds, miles overhead,
Forest brush, a potential trailhead.
I’m getting nowhere, as I’ve said,
So I’ll try hard to listen instead.

I hear the creek, falling down the valley,
I hear voices, my blessed family.
I hear birds, their song faint but lovely,
The wind, roaring so aggressively.

I hear grass rustle in the breeze,
A twig snaps, makes the squirrel freeze,
I hear insects, leave me alone, please!
Once again I’m out, how about olfactories?

I smell pine, stronger than the rest,
Smoke, blowing from the west,
Fresh air, it smells best when I’m stressed,
Thank you, dear forest, for allowing this guest.

4/30/2020

When you wake at last in the morning,
When you move on past the mourning,
Don’t forget about me.

When you get up, out of bed,
When you smile, looking ahead,
Don’t forget about me.

When you leave and don’t look back,
When you recover from the black,
Don’t forget about me.

When you’re new and have lost this feeling,
When you’re thinking instead of dreaming,
Don’t forget about me.

You’ll wake up, another day ahead of you,
You’ll get up, excited to try something new,
But don’t forget about me!

Whatever you do, remember me then!
I’m frantic that you’ll mess us up again.
I’m desperate to make things restored,
Before we’re worse off than before.

Right now I could die just to breathe,
I’d give anything to set my mind free.
Right now you’re happy, frolicking in the sun,
You’d do anything to forget what we’ve done.

Can you even see me cry? Do take a peep,
Forget it, I’ll just cry myself to sleep.
You make decisions to help yourself,
I pay the price, as you rush off.

This relationship is self-destructive!
How can I continue to live?
We need each other, so hear my plea,
Try to think of yourself when you think of me!

4/30/2020

They liked you, so they were liked,
He injured you, so he was injured,
It was uncomfortable, so it was avoided,
She ignored you, so she was ignored,
It looked at you, so it caught your eye.

You thought it, so it was believed,
You hated him, so he was murdered,
You desired her, so she was had,
You wanted it, so it was robbed,
You felt too low, so you got too high.

When accused of wrongdoings, you lied,
But the evidence found openly decried,
So you’re behind bars – death row assigned.
A date with the electric chair, what a ride!
But you don’t care, might as well die.

With your stiff heart growing harder,
Your excitement gives you power.
It might hurt others, but you’re tougher.
It’s only electricity, you’ve been shocked before,
Just a little pain and it’s all over.

But when, at last, comes the day,
As you walk to the chair – that final domain,
You see another in your way,
Strapped in, ready to take the pain.
The guard offers to release your chain.

What will be your reply?
This can’t be happening, but it’s no lie!
You can go free or put up a fight.
You can take the second chance at life,
Or you can push him out and die tonight.

3/25/2020

Too much. It hurts.
There’s too much to think about.
I could write a thousand words
Without even breathing, but

Would my words be make-believe plots?
Would they agree or would they argue?
Would they be my feelings or my thoughts?
Would they be authoritative and true?

The wall in front of my sight,
Four clocks I can see.
None agree, but one’s bound to be right.
How do I know which to believe?

So here’s just a scrape off the top,
Just a taste of the seasoning,
Just a crack in the rock,
Just an ear to the tone of my reasoning.

Present me with a choice,
I’d favor myself every time, why?
When I’m safe, I forget anyone else,
But I can’t live life alone, can I?

Empathizing with them who have none,
Is like letting everyone pass you in a line.
To understand the ones in square one,
Lay down in a puddle for them, a bridge out of your spine.

A picture can store a moment up like a ****.
A memory can last a lifetime unchanged,
But eyes can speak better than a tongue,
And emotion can disappear before it’s explored.

Just like paint drying on a wall when it’s sunny,
Life is a great change to a new form.
Life is better spent in warm company,
Just like a blaze is fed by a firestorm.

False hope is always an illusion.
Parting ways is a detriment.
Misinformed opinions are confusion.
Saying goodbye is too permanent.

I have so many problems, but no troubles.
A ****** war doesn’t mean I lost, get it?
Notice what’s new and what’s rubble,
And which old things are due for an edit.

I’m a fly on the wall,
Guts splat flat with a quick swat.
I’m a mighty roaring lion, ready to ****,
Tranquilized by a tiny dart.

Walking for a week to nowhere,
Is like airing up a blown-out tire.
Crawling in the dirt in open air,
Is like watering a dead flower.

Reading truth without knowing it clearer,
Is like forgetting what you look like,
After you just looked in a mirror.
There’s hardly anything that weak.

People are like houses,
Calm on the outside.
Yes, people are houses,
Busy on the inside.

They came to the New World looking for a City of Gold,
Cibola! But, “How ironic is that?” I ask.
‘Cause our Lord’s word He will uphold;
He’s preparing His streets with gold pure as glass.

What if what’s come to be expected of us,
Is no longer what’s accepted by us?
When every day has it’s own excuse,
Every day is a special occasion to misuse.

I’m not perfect, I hope you realize that.
See me like God sees you, capisce?
But I’m thick-headed like a hard-hat,
Why can’t I practice what I preach?

3/20/2020

One against the world.
Fighting your change.
Would anyone care if you made it?
Wouldn’t they rather you fail?
Oh, they’d feel better about themselves.

One against yourself.
Fighting His change.
Would you care to let go?
Who are you even working for?
Your progress has to be between you and God.

One against your past.
Fighting your change.
Would it make a difference,
If you turned the boat around?
Could you even find your way back?

One against emotions.
Fighting their change.
Doesn’t the anger feel good,
When it wrecks your life?
Don’t you think you should hate hate?

One against a soul.
Fighting the change.
They need you, you know.
You aren’t what you’re meant to be,
It’s about time you changed course.

You’re almost ready,
So I’ll give you more time,
But I can’t promise it’ll last forever…

2/15/20

You’re everything that I need,
But are you all that I need?
I question if I even trust you anymore…
Oh Lord! I’ve been here before.

So I’m back where nothing’s new,
Reflecting on how much I believe You.
Last time I argued – put up resistance.
Yet You don’t punish my insolence.

I can be confused and frustrated with You,
So You have to be real and true.
You are not able to be defined,
So you must not be my own design.

God, You engineered my systems,
To pump life through me like pistons.
And I stand before You shaking my fists,
When You control whether my body exists.

But You love me! You tolerate my witlessness.
And I respond – as if taking my first steps –
With downhearted repentance. Lord, I’m sorry,
Without Your blessings, I’d be left in sorrow.

1/22/2020

A blank page. Is beautiful,
Like an empty cardboard box.
A blank page is pitiful,
Like a bike without shocks.
A blank page is powerful,
Like he who controls the clocks.

Words. Are dangerous,
Like a career in bomb diffusion.
Words are ponderous,
Like time spent in seclusion.
Words are useless,
Like having skills in indecision.

Expressions. Are misguiding,
Like incorrect road signs.
Expressions are inviting,
Like getting off the sidelines.
Expressions are exposing,
Like craters left by mines.

Fears. Will debilitate,
Like brakes locked on an icy road.
Fears will dictate,
Like poor learning of law code.
Fears will fabricate,
Like a hasty corduroy road.

How can the potential of a chart,
The potency of what we hear,
The mystery of an open heart,
Not keep one from outrunning Fear?
You just don’t know where to start.
Oh, when will everything become clear?

Pain. Is difficult,
Like a test of endurance.
Pain is heartfelt,
Like an understanding glance.
Pain is insult,
Like taunts in arrogance.

Doubt. Is dividing,
Like a denominator.
Doubt is saving,
Like a backup generator.
Doubt is disregarding,
Like a prideful visitor.

Acceptance. Is costly,
Like a gambling addiction.
Acceptance is ghostly,
Like it’s writing fiction.
Acceptance is necessary,
Like a correct prediction.

Love. Will change your ways,
Like moving across the planet.
Love will catch your gaze,
Like seeing a leaky faucet.
Love will not cease to amaze,
Like that: nothing but net.

How can feeling sufferance,
The weakness of doubt,
And the need for acceptance,
Continue to keep Love locked out?
Oh, how low will I cling to reluctance?
I just don’t know where to start.