they say love is not supposed to hurt
but it does.
it hurts to say it.
it hurts to feel it.
it hurts to know it.

but maybe it's not the love itself
that is painful.
what's painful are the cracks
and ropes
that trap us to this mess.
I'm tired of being trapped here
and I'm tired of feeling hurt.
I wanna escape
but there's not a single way out

I am not a slave, no.
Yet,
I am enslaved
By the:
Systems which you created
The history which you teach me
the name which you give me because mine is "too hard" to pronounce

I am not a slave, no.
But I am enslaved
By the societies which you have created that does not allow me to spread my,
Beautiful.
Black.
Wings.

I am not a slave, no.
My ancestors just made the wrong choice.

Write me up into a song
Sing me on your lips
Feel me on your fingertips
Hold me and save me
Tell me I am yours
Wash away my insecurities
Open up, for me, new doors
Because I would do it all for you
And so much more

You’re a man
Taught you must be strong
Dig some more
Are you feeling sad ?
No that’s wrong
So dig some more
That better be sweat
Or are you crying
I don’t want to see a drop
So dig some more
You’re hurting
Missing her bad
So dig some more
You’re winching In pain
Is that from the splinters
Are the blisters
So dig some more
I don’t want you to feel anything
Not anymore
There’s no time to be sore
Become numb to it all
So dig more
You’re only 6 feet down
But we’re not done now
So dig some more

All you wanted was my love
But I wouldn’t budge
All you wanted was for me to smile
But the pain inside
Steadily beating on my skull
Becomes louder then a whaling mom
Grasping her lifeless child
And I can’t help but scowl
All you wanted was me
But my heart was still taking a beating
From the past memories
I couldn’t feel the blanket of happiness you tried to wrap around me
I couldn’t feel joy
I didn’t want you to love me
I tried to convince you
I’m just a lifeless toy
And I guess I finally got through to you
But you didn’t know
You were getting to me
I could finally feel my heartbeat
But it’s too late
Because you’re gone now
Sorry that
I let you down

Being constantly away from you made me no longer miss this
I remember I use to dream of your lips
And wish for your kisses

It must have been the distance

All I we ever wanted
To sit in each other’s bed
Cuddle and hug

It much have been the distance

I wanted kids
And to pick the perfect place to live
Build a tree house
With a huge bridge

It must have been the distance

Visions of us strolling the beach
Hold hands
And playing in the sand

It must have been the distance

Laughed about having exotic pets
You wanted a tiger
And I was going to teach it to fetch

It must have been the distance
All the wishes we shared
Dead
All our dreams
Turned to nightmares
All hope
Gone

I wear shades
To hide my eyes

A raging storm sits behind them
Stained red from constantly fighting back the high tides

But id die a thousand deaths before I ever cry

I wear shades so you can’t see my eyes
I’m afraid the longer you stare

The quicker you’ll become aware
Of how they’re so empty

Lack sympathy
And dead inside  

I wear shades
Not to save them from the sun rays

But to hide from everyone’s view
They make me invisible

There was only one person
Who I ever wanted to see me

But she walked away
And left me with these shades

You were my motivation
You gave me reasons to grin
You were why I smiled
You touched my heart
And flipped it on
It’s been off for awhile
Kinda embarrassing to admit
You swept me off my feet
I felt comfort in your arms
But then
You dropped me
Left me laying on the floor
Now every night I have to fight these dark thoughts
And painful emotions
On top of that
Misery has came creeping back
She sits outside my window
Tapping on the glass
I can hear her foots steps looking for ways in
The breaths she take are heavy
Mimicking my own
Her whispers seem to trickle in
Invading my ears
Her laugh disrupts my sleep
I can almost feel her touch sliding down my sheets
I can’t fight her anymore
Hand on the door ****
As I stand at the front door
Staring into her piercing green eyes
She smiles
And it melts me
I’m on the edge of relapse
And she knows I’ll let her In