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Maybe the one talked over and hushed
Grew up to be quiet, reserved
Trying to develop a voice of their own
But it was never heard

Maybe the one seeking attention
Spent their life being ignored
Experiences shape perceptions
And perceptions shape our world

But this is where we start, not end
After all, we're not cement
We change and bend and learn and grow
We can end above and start below
Beliefs can change and so can we
What we were, we don't have to be
The beginning is so unassuming
It's a faint desire to better oneself by
succumbing to "healthier" options both
mentally and physically
Or at least that's what we tell
ourselves

Once the introductions are over and
the pleasantries of obtainable goals
made, you become totally enamored by
the sense of accomplishment
That nagging whisper of assurance,
gratitude, and love keeps you
constantly striving for something
more
With that, the trap has been set

One goal turns to three, and three
turns quickly to ten
Now you are in the grips of an enticing,
vengeful, and all-consuming force that
is never satisfied
The whispers soon become screams
that berate your inadequacies and
open the floodgates for negativity
"Never Good Enough" becomes the
battle-cry of this addiction towards
self-deprecation

Intentions to stop are always there
However, chasing the ever elusive "last
goal" becomes your entire existence
You alienate yourself from any and all
who stand in the way of disordered
progress
Blinded by a strong conviction and
supposed self-improvement, you
cannot see the destruction ED craves
It devours every possible ounce of time
and energy a body has until there is
nothing left to give

Still not content, and louder than ever,
ED seeks complete annihilation and
your ultimate demise
Only through intervention,
enlightenment, and a shroud of hope
can the bond be broken with the beast
within
This clarity makes it possible to live
and fight another day

I Believe...Do You?
THIS IS ME...We all have addictions (that itch that you just can't seem to scratch). Mine happens to be centered around food, or lack thereof!! Not so long ago, it was a reality that I wasn't ready to face nor admit. However, through the help of an awesome treatment team and those that cared enough to support/stand by me when I was at my worst, it has now become a daily battle that thankfully I AM WILLING TO FIGHT!
 Jan 2018 Angela Baerthel
Carina
In a library you could find a book's buildup,
There was this quiet girl who hid behind bookshelves.
She was special, for she took the courage to stand up;
For those who could not stand up for themselves.

She realized that those fighting what they're fearing,
Often did not have a choice.
And that the ones worth hearing,
Often did not have the loudest voice.

She was the one to have her sails unfurled,
In a storm, yet not inflect.
For sometimes those who change the world,
Are the ones you least expect.
Dedicated to everyone who has the courage to fight injustice and help others without thinking twice. You are the ones that change the world!
I sit in my basement.
And I watch others live their lives.
I'm not enough.
And my friends are worried.
And my family is worried.
It's happened, I'm sick again.

And then I go somewhere safe.
I feel better one day.
And better the next.
There's bad days too.
But I see tomorrow.
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