Small ticks whisper from the ***** of my fingers
Words echo into my head
My chest feels as heavy as a padlock
Now, black circles have replaced red

There's an emptiness in between
not from where I pass you by in our frames
It is somewhere that lies in your eyes
where there are other faces I cannot name

I am confused, afraid
I'm scared of your touch
Your voice is a noise so far
But without it is even too much

So I didn't want to hurt myself
I didn't want to push you away
But I'm afraid we're too much lost
In where we all wanted to stay

If only words could reach down
below the skin, I could be the one you hear.

But of course, you can't hear anything
when I'm covering your ears.

Buried in the snow,
red like an apple in harvest
losing her warmth to the cold
beauty in her eyes that reflect kind

And oh, what an arrogant man
selfish man
condescending man
clueless man
naive man
ignorant man
who is amused by her beauty

Amused by her kind
amused by her ignorance
amused by her naivety
amused by her carelessness
amused by her, he's amused

And her heart was devoted
but swayed by this man
The man she had loved, was forgotten in a blind moment
And this arrogant man
whose hands have been stained by many others,
laid on her

And she's in the snow, red like an apple,
losing her warmth to the cold of the white blankets
In Moscow's piling ice
that glows on her skin

Her lips grow cold, her lashes collect ice
the warmth is gone, and a beautiful pearl now
lays buried beneath the ground

Why is it, that when I am with you, I feel like nothing?
Why is it that I feel bare to the flame that you resonate?
Like tongues of fire that  lapped at my flesh and burnt me red and painted me black, like ashes of firewood and embers of dying flames, illuminating the dark.

Why do you hurt me so?
Tell me, for I am not complaining.
I'm letting your hurt me, because if there is a reason, I'll gladly accept it. If you have a reason for lighting a flame on chest, free me and we can both fly away like windeswept flowers wilting in the fall; snow raining down on naked branches and frozen shrubberies.

Burn me, for I have been the one to light you.

With you, I feel like I have a meaning.

Burn me, so you can grow brighter.

There are no coherent words escaping your lips
Your eyes pry mine open for me to see and listen
Your neck strains against your collar to choke out the words
I only wanted to hear what I wanted, versus what you said

Your chest rises in a motion too fast, I stumble
You cry because of the words I refused to accept
You plead with me to come to terms to the truth you mouth to me
But I refuse, because my fingers covered your mouth instead.

There are monsters that live to ****
Some whose rolls they cannot fill
But faces do not look the same
Just like monsters with different names

But don’t confuse a hero with a sword
Swords are weapons they can only afford
And don’t confuse monsters with blood
They’re only people deprived of love

So don’t laugh when you don’t know their pain
Don’t talk or they’ll think you’re insane
You live for people you want to protect
And there are people who live to see you dead.

It was slow and sudden, and I was stuck in space when you slowly tucked your hair behind your ears. I stared for too long, my eyes shooting holes into your fingers, into your shadowed skin, into your tear stained lashes, and into your quiet lips.

You were beautiful, your smile says it all.

Your eyes says it all.

And when you looked up and your eyes met mine, I looked away. I heard your laugh escape those closed lips, and in this time of a battling silence, I was internally screaming and crying, shouting and smiling. I was sad and happy, and you were making me that way.

You didn't know.

"What are you looking at?" I heard you say, and that voice. There is no other voice like that in the world.

"Nothing," I answered.

Everything. That's what I'm supposed to say.

And you didn't know, and it was better that way.